Let me ask you this…do you say yes a lot? We get programmed from an early age to say yes. Yes to our parents. Yes to our teachers. Yes to our lovers. Yes to our bosses. Yes to our children. When it comes to yes, the one person who hears it the least often is ourselves. We don’t want to disappoint, to be seen as a problem, to rock the boat. But our YES habit could be affecting us negatively in so many ways.
Think about a recent situation in which you said YES when you really wanted to say NO.
I’ve been practicing saying YES to myself a lot lately, which inevitably leads to saying no to others. I’ve found that people seem okay when you have a good “excuse” for saying no, or at least what they consider a good excuse. But if you tell them you are saying no because you are making yourself a priority, which means not overscheduling your time or committing yourself to projects that don’t fit your current priorities, they have a tough time understanding. At least that has been my experience.
In her book “The Art of Extreme Self Care,” Cheryl Richardson talks about getting comfortable with disappointing people. Sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it? Comfortable…with disappointing people? She discusses how we often avoid saying no because we:
Does this sound familiar? I know it does for me. I’ve experienced all of these at one point or another. But I’ve also realized that when I disappoint myself, the effects are much longer-lasting and the consequences much more far-reaching than if I suck it up and say no to others.
If you want to join me in saying YES to yourself, here’s some tips you can try as recommended in Cheryl Richardson’s book:
For more information, I definitely recommend checking out Cheryl Richardson’s book, “The Art of Extreme Self Care.”
I’d love to hear about how you are saying YES to yourself. Please leave a comment below.