Category Archives for Holiday Stress
Won’t You Be Yours?
Happy Valentines’ Day!
Today is a day to celebrate love. Our society focuses on the love of partners (and the buying of stuff to prove that love).
But I’d like us all to remember, regardless of our relationship status, that the most important love to celebrate (today and every day) is the love we have for ourselves.
So today, please know that:
- You deserve love
- You are lovable
And that means:
- Love yourself
- Treat yourself the way you want and deserve to be treated
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”– Buddha
I’m so honored to be a part of your journey. Be kind and gentle (and loving) with yourself!
Krylyn
Photo by: Elin B
The ONE THING You MUST Focus On to Accomplish Any Goal
“If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail!” ― Benjamin Franklin
Happy Freakin’ New Year! Happy end of the last year. Happy looking forward to a fresh start and a clean slate.
Are you chomping at the bit to lose weight, get in shape, better your relationships, grow your business, try something new, or otherwise jump on the resolution bandwagon?
Or are you just plugging away, same old same old, trying hard not to plan or dream big cause you’ve tried before and it hasn’t worked?
Or are you somewhere in between?
This time of year brings out a lot of emotion and baggage. Fear, resistance, excitement, hesitation, frustration, anticipation…you name it.
But while so many people focus on WHAT they are wanting to have or create and HOW to do it, I think a lot are missing the boat on the real reason we have hopes, dreams, and goals.
It’s not really to accumulate stuff, or be a size or two smaller, or achieve something. Those are the tangible results, yes, and often very rewarding. But the REAL reason we do what we do is to feel a certain way.
We’ve lost sight of our WHY.
Regardless of WHAT your goal is or HOW you can go about achieving it, you simply must spend some time and energy focusing on the WHY.
Our WHY drives us and keeps us going when things get challenging. Because things WILL get challenging. It’s inevitable. Our WHY is the feeling behind what we’re creating. And if we’re not in touch with our why, it’s really easy to give up.
When faced with figuring out the WHY, most people start answering with the superficial answers of the immediate gain. But I invite you to dig deeper and explore how you would FEEL and what you have to gain in the long run. Below are examples.
WHY do you want to get in shape?
The Superficial Response
- to lose weight
- to get off medication
- to look good naked
The real WHY behind it
- to feel more energized, less fatigued, less blah
- to be around for my children or grandchildren
- to feel more confident, sexy, happy, and in control of your life
WHY do you want a better (or different) relationship?
The Superficial Response
- to get away from a bad situation
- to have someone who gets me
- to not be lonely
The real WHY behind it
- to feel more connection and love with my partner
- to share my life with someone
- to feel more
WHY do you want a different job or to grow your business?
The Superficial Response
- to make more money
- to spend more time with my family
- to get more clients or customers
The real WHY behind it
- to provide a better life for myself and my family
- to make a bigger impact on the world
- to answer my calling and use my talents and skills
You’ll start to realize your WHY for most of your goals is very similar or will have common themes, such as:
- Increased confidence, self esteem
- Happiness
- Service and/or connection to others
- Fulfilling your life’s purpose
These are common things that drive us all as humans. And if we’re not focusing on these as the real reasons driving us, we can be easily tempted to give up when things get rough.
So as you set those resolutions, make sure you take some time to think about and declare your WHY. Even post it where you can see it and share it with your support system (aka cheerleaders).
Photo By: Randy Heinitz
14 Quotes for Surviving the Holidays
Ready for the holidays? Even though the season is already upon us, there are still ways to make this time of year even more special. Enjoy some of my favorite quotes to help ease some of the tension of the season.
Enjoy!
- “Holidays are about experiences and people, and tuning into what you feel like doing at that moment. Enjoy not having to look at a watch.” – Evelyn Glennie
- “Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.” – Ellen DeGeneres
- “Love the giver more than the gift.” – Brigham Young
- “This is my wish for you: peace of mind, prosperity through the year, happiness that multiplies, health for you and yours, fun around every corner, energy to chase your dreams, joy to fill your holidays!” – D.M. Dellinger“
- “Our many different cultures notwithstanding, there’s something about the holidays that makes the planet communal. Even nations that do not celebrate Christmas can’t help but be caught up in the collective spirit of their neighbors, as twinkling lights dot the landscape and carols fill the air. It’s an inspiring time of the year.” – Marlo Thomas
- “The holidays stress people out so much. I suggest you keep it simple and try to have as much fun as you can.” – Giada De Laurentiis
- “Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.” – Hamilton Wright Mabie
- “May your walls know joy, may every room hold laughter, and every window open to great possibility.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
- “New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.” – Charles Lamb
- “Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts.” – Janice Maeditere
- “This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone.” – Taylor Caldwell
- “Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind.” – Mary Ellen Chase
- “For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!” – Anne Bristow
- “Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” – Oren Arnold
Photo by: Sam Howzit
When’s the last time you said YES?
There’s a word we’re so used to hearing that we can anticipate it before it even arrives. This word can have a deep impact on how we feel about ourselves, what we think about ourselves, and how we live our lives.
Know what it is yet? Let me give you a hint…
Think about the last time you asked for something, whether a raise at work, or a significant other to do something for you, or for a favor. There’s really only two responses to asking someone to do something – yes or no. When you ask for something, what answer are you hoping for? And which answer can make your heart and hopes sink a little?
You guessed it…that dreaded word that can have a HUGE impact is…NO.
We can get so used to hearing it that it prevents us from asking. But let me spin this one around a little.
When’s the last time you said NO to yourself? Do you ever put your dreams on hold, or change plans, or stop yourself from doing something? Every time you put something off, or put someone else before you when you don’t really need to, you’re saying no to yourself. OUCH!
Sure there are times when others do come first. But overall in your life, are you really making yourself a priority? Or does everything and everyone else come first?
This habit of saying yes to everyone else is really one of saying no to yourself. And whether or not you can see it (and my guess is you can but just don’t want to), it’s taking a HUGE toll on you.
Here’s some subtle (and not so subtle ways) saying yes to others (and no to yourself) can be affecting you:
- Zaps your self esteem as you feel less important than everyone else
- Prevents you from doing something you really love to do
- Traps you into thinking you don’t matter
- Creates resentment, anger, and possibly some passive-aggressive behaviors you may not be terribly proud of
Now if the stuff on the list above is what you really want, then keep doing what you’re doing. But I’m guessing if you could really see how saying yes to everything and everyone else but yourself is affecting you, you’d want to stop immediately. Am I right?
Of course, that can be easier said than done. So where do you start?
By making small changes using tools that really work. Tools like setting boundaries, using positive statements, owning your own value and power, and making a habit of cutting out that which doesn’t serve you.
If you want some specific step-by-step, “here’s how you do it” instructions, I invite you to check out the “MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY” Seminar Series Bundle I created, full of 12 seminars that go over things like saying YES to yourself and all the other tools I mentioned, plus so much more. If you’re ready to learn tools that help you go from stressed and overwhelmed to feeling much more balanced and centered, this might be what you’re looking for.
Check it out at: http://www.krylyn.com/MakeYourselfAPriorityBundle
After all, until YOU can start saying YES to yourself, how can anyone else?
Are You (Really) Where You Want To Be?
If you’ve been in my tribe for any length of time, you know that the inspiration for everything I do comes from my own life. Everything from the articles I write, the newsletters I send, the social media posts, the workshops, conferences, and products I create and promote – all come from the lessons I’ve learned both personally and professionally to help others move through transitions, fear, burnout, stress, and overwhelm to lead a more productive, healthier, happier, more deliberate, creative, and passionate life.
As 2014 comes to a close, I’ve already started reflecting on everything that’s happened over the last year, and it’s A LOT. I know I’m not the only one facing tremendous challenges, changes, and transitions (forced and planned), and it got me to thinking of how I can best serve YOU, my tribe, as we move into yet another year.
I’ve put together a series of three blog posts chock-full of some great tips and inspirations to help YOU, since I know this can be a challenging time of year.
Here’s a question for you:
As we come to the close of yet another year, are you where you want to be?
If so, then you can stop reading now. But if not…keep going.
Despite our best intentions and efforts, we get side-tracked. Life happens. Circumstances beyond our control rear their not-so-pretty little heads. And we can find that where we wanted to go is miles away from where we are. It happens to all of us.
At this point, when we KNOW we’re not where we want to be, we have one of two choices:
- Accept it, OR
- Whine, kick, scream, and otherwise throw a tantrum (otherwise known as NOT accepting it or resisting it)
Sound familiar? I’m guessing you’ve chosen both routes at one point or another (just like I have). And that you know which one is more likely to help you re-adjust and either get to where you want to be or get you closer to where you want to be.
Yep, acceptance is key.
But if you’re more steeped behind door #2 right now (or can get in touch with that experience), here’s the next question:
Where is all that whining, kicking, screaming, tantruming, and RESISTING WHAT IS getting you?
Chances are it’s getting you more of what you DON’T want. More stuckness, unhappiness, resentment, anger, fear, loneliness, worry, stress…the list goes on.
You see, what we focus on expands. What we resist persists. There’s a bunch of trite ways to say it, but it all boils down to where we put our attention. If our attention is on the ick, then that’s what we see and experience.
And that ick can look and feel like:
- Fatigue
- Poor concentration
- Low energy and motivation
- The blah’s
- Muscle aches and pains
- Thoughts spinning around in your head (which I call the “thought spiral”)
- Shoulding all over yourself (“I should do this…I shouldn’t do that”)
- Worrying about every little thing
- Fear
- Stress and overwhelm
- …And so on
But, the good news is that just as we can choose to focus on the not so desirable stuff, we can also learn to focus more on what we DO want and have THAT expand and be our experience.
Imagine what life would it be like if you could:
- Wake up excited and energized about your day, rather than dreading it
- Practice simple, proven techniques that can skyrocket your confidence and self esteem
- Bust through the barriers that keep you stuck
- Easily let go of stuff that doesn’t serve you
Sounds pretty good, right?
And it is possible!
How do I know? Because I’ve been able to do it AND teach my clients how do it too.
In an upcoming post, I’ll share with you the three categories of healing that can help YOU get back on track to getting what you want more of.
So get to thinking about what it is that you want. Here’s some questions you can think (and/or journal) about to help you gain some clarity:
- If (money / time / _____) weren’t a factor, what would I really like to be doing with my life?
- What are the real barriers keeping me stuck right now? What are the imagined ones?
- What am I gaining by NOT being where I want to be?
- What am I losing by NOT being where I want to be?
- What do I really want?
- What is ONE thing I can give up in order to get what I want?
- Am I really ready to do what it takes to get what I want?
Happy healing!
Got a comment to share about what you want more of? Leave a comment below.
Photo by: DVIDSHUB
Happy Thanksgiving!
As we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the U.S., I just wanted to take a moment to say how grateful I am to have you as part of my tribe. May you enjoy all the blessings you have right at this moment, and let any thoughts that things aren’t perfect just the way they are take a vacation (at least for today).
Happy Thanksgiving!
Krylyn
Photo by: Benn Wolfe