Book Review: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Wayne Dyer

For over two decades, I’ve followed the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer, author and speaker. His work focuses on self-improvement, specifically on how to shift your perspective and thoughts to feel more centered, balanced, and happy. For sure, his work has helped shape not only who I am personally but my calling to do this same type of work with clients.

In his book, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao, Dyer explores the ancient teachings of Lao-tzu, who dictated 81 verses of text that provide guidance on living a balanced and moral life. Dr. Dyer spent a year living with each of the 81 verses, exploring them in his own life and writing about them.

The book holds 81 chapters, each devoted to one of the teachings.  Dyer provides an interpretation or Lao-tzu’s teachings as well as practical advice on how to practice each of the teachings. He encourages readers to sit with no more than one chapter a day to fully take in the words and suggestions for putting that lesson into practice.

Each chapter touts a wonderful life lesson, a nugget of wisdom passed down through the ages. Examples of the lessons in this book include living:

• Creatively
• With Inner Conviction
• With Constancy
• Without Attachment
• From Greatness
• Calmly
• In Obscurity
• Beyond Appearances
• Beyond Judgment
• By Letting Go
• By Being Here Now
• By Bending
• Without Resentments

The advice Dyer provides includes tips like:

• Being silent and listening to your thoughts
• Trusting yourself
• Being aware of what is going on around you
• Practicing forgiveness
• Learning from the wisdom of children

If ever there was a “how-to” manual for how to live, this is it.  I highly recommend this book as part of any good self-help collection.

Review: Journey Through the Chakras

Being in the present moment is a cornerstone to good healing work. Therapists, counselors, coaches, lightworkers, and alternative healing practitioners all talk about being able to get in touch with the here and now. But this can be easier said that done, as we live in a society that is goal-driven and focused more on the future.

While we can learn to get centered and be in the present moment on our own through practice, attending workshops, taking classes, etc., I find that the more tools I have at my fingertips, the easier it is to practice being in the present (or any skill for that matter).

One of my favorite tools for getting in the moment is Colette Baron-Reid’s “Journey Through the Chakras” CD, filled with 7 meditations set to music as well as her song “Love is the Answer.” These chakra meditations are powerful, as they combine Baron-Reid’s soothing voice guiding you through an experience, along with the added elements of color (associated with each chakra), visualization, and music. She helps draw you in with different senses – sight, sound, and touch. When I use these meditations, I notice myself able to slow down, focus on my breath, and get to a more centered place. And that feeling seems to last me throughout the day, helping me balance the ups and downs of day to day life.

When I have time, I listen to each of the 7 meditations consecutively, traveling from the root chakra at the base of my spine to the crown chakra at the top of my head.  But that only works if I have 35+ minutes to spare, which I don’t most of the time. I also pick and choose based on what chakra I’d like to focus on. Each meditation lasts from 4 to 6 minutes, a much easier, bite-sized chunk of time to spare.

For help in choosing which chakra meditation to focus on in your spare time, here’s a guide:

• Chakra 1: associated with self preservation and survival
• Chakra 2: associated with sexuality and creativity
• Chakra 3: associated with personal power, identity, and individuation
• Chakra 4: associated with compassion, love, and healing
• Chakra 5: associated with self expression and communication
• Chakra 6: associated with psychic perception, imagination, and intuition
• Chakra 7: associated with consciousness and spirituality

Enjoy your journey through the chakras.

Book Review: The Art of Extreme Self Care

Let me ask you this…do you say yes a lot? We get programmed from an early age to say yes. Yes to our parents. Yes to our teachers. Yes to our lovers. Yes to our bosses. Yes to our children. When it comes to yes, the one person who hears it the least often is ourselves. We don’t want to disappoint, to be seen as a problem, to rock the boat. But our YES habit could be affecting us negatively in so many ways.

Think about a recent situation in which you said YES when you really wanted to say NO.

• How did you feel when you said YES (resentful, angry, disappointed)?
• What did you think about yourself or the other person in the situation (I’m so weak. They expect too much.)?
• How did saying YES affect you and people around you (had to cancel personal plans, was late to child’s recital or game, didn’t get to the grocery store and had to order takeout for dinner)?

I’ve been practicing saying YES to myself a lot lately, which inevitably leads to saying no to others. I’ve found that people seem okay when you have a good “excuse” for saying no, or at least what they consider a good excuse. But if you tell them you are saying no because you are making yourself a priority, which means not overscheduling your time or committing yourself to projects that don’t fit your current priorities, they have a tough time understanding. At least that has been my experience.

In her book “The Art of Extreme Self Care,” Cheryl Richardson talks about getting comfortable with disappointing people. Sounds a bit strange, doesn’t it? Comfortable…with disappointing people? She discusses how we often avoid saying no because we:

• Don’t want to feel guilty
• Don’t want others to feel disappointed
• Don’t know the language to use to say no
• Are afraid of conflict
• Want people to like us

Does this sound familiar? I know it does for me. I’ve experienced all of these at one point or another. But I’ve also realized that when I disappoint myself, the effects are much longer-lasting and the consequences much more far-reaching than if I suck it up and say no to others.

If  you want to join me in saying YES to yourself, here’s some tips you can try as recommended in Cheryl Richardson’s book:

1. BUYING TIME: The next time someone asks you to do something and you feel pressured to say yes but want to say no, just let them know you need to think about it before you give an answer.
2. CHECKING YOUR GUT: Check in with your body and what it is telling you about the situation. If you really listen, you’ll be able to hear it tell you if something feels right or wrong for you.
3. TELLING THE TRUTH WITH GRACE AND LOVE: Say no by being honest and keeping your answer simple and direct. We tend to want to explain ourselves away, but it’s really not necessary. As long as you respond from a place of caring and respect for both yourself and the other person, it will come across.

For more information, I definitely recommend checking out Cheryl Richardson’s book, “The Art of Extreme Self Care.”

I’d love to hear about how you are saying YES to yourself. Please leave a comment below.

Book Review: Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered by Gay Hendricks

If you’re ready to hunker down and really do some work toward finally learning to love yourself, this is a great place to start. Author Gay Hendricks interjects many examples into this book that help illustrate his points. The main message: self acceptance. But he doesn’t stop there. He shows you practical and useful tools to get there. Some of what he teaches seems deceptively simple, but once you start REALLY doing it, you can see how powerful it can be at uncovering those hidden layers of self-deprecation. This has been a tremendously helpful resource for me both personally and professionally.

You can find “Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered” by Gay Hendricks at Amazon.

Looking for other great SELF CARE resources? Check out my recommendations: https://krylyn.com/recommendations.