What are you doing to make the most important relationships in your life be all they can be? Enjoy this 3 minute movie, The 100/0 Principle which shares the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others.

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford

I love that Henry Ford quote. And boy do I need to be reminded of it, just like we all do, from time to time. Our thoughts are so powerful and are directly related to how we feel about ourselves, what we do, and how we interact with the world.

I don’t know about you, but for me, self-care has been a challenge for me most of my life. I’m used to putting myself on hold while I take care of things and people around me. Can you relate? There’s always a task to present itself or a crisis to divert attention away from what we imagine is (or should be) the priority. That is not to say that we shouldn’t tend to important matters in our lives. But if we continually neglect ourselves, we won’t have the ability to deal with the important things as effectively. Sound familiar?

It can be challenging, in a society where multi-tasking is expected, the media focuses on what’s wrong with the world, and our to-do lists keep growing, to take a step back or a moment away. Yet it is essential. Not only when you need a break but BEFORE you need a break. It’s vital to take time every day to care for yourself.

Here’s some ideas for you to get yourself and self care back to being a priority:

1. Make a list of things you can do for yourself that make you feel cared for and good about yourself. Do at least one thing for yourself on the list each day for a week and notice how you feel.
2. Journal about what self-care means to you. Share any insights with a friend and get a dialogue going about what it means to take care of yourself.
3. Give yourself a hug and squeeze tight. You not only get some affection, it may help release some tension you’re holding in your neck and shoulders.
4. Find a song that really inspires you and has a positive message about self-love. Listen to it…a lot. Sing with it. Make up your own words to it.
5. Check out my FREE monthly teleseminar series on “How to Make Yourself a Priority in 2012.”

Can you think of any other quick tips for caring for yourself every day? Please share them by leaving a comment below.

Photo: To Do

February is the month of LOVE. While most of us automatically think “Valentine’s Day,” flowers, chocolates, and cuddling with that special someone, I’d like to propose a different kind of love for us to celebrate. It’s the kind of love that most of us don’t talk about, or maybe even think about, yet it’s one of the most important kind of loves we will ever have.

Self love.  (I know…I used TWO four letter words in a row).

If you’re ready to take a bold and daring look at what there is to LOVE ABOUT YOU, please join me for February’s FREE Teleseminar… Loving the Reflection in the Mirror: The Secret Power of Self Love and Positive Self Talk..In this teleseminar, I’ll cover:

• The Connection Between What You Say to Yourself (either out loud or silently) and the Success (or Failure) in Every Area of Your Life
• How to Treat Yourself the Way You Deserve to be Treated
• 3 Steps You Can Take to Love the Reflection in the Mirror

Don’t delay. Sign up today. The live call is coming soon. But don’t worry, if you can’t attend live, you can still sign up and get access to the recording. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up.

When someone who has had a profound impact on our lives suddenly leaves us, it strikes a chord. I, as many of you, am deeply saddened by the news of Whitney Houston’s death.

Maybe it’s because I remember seeing her very first video as a MTV world premier back in the 80′s, knowing I was hearing the beginning of something (and someone) very special. Or maybe it’s the uplifting, positive music she sang that inspired me as a teenager and young adult (“Greatest Love of All,” “I’m Every Woman,” etc.). And maybe it’s because our children are about the same age. Of course it could be a combination of these things that give me pause to remember her great talent and be reminded that we all (including you and me) have a special gift to share with the world. Our job is simply to share it…before it’s too late.

But so often we get in our own way, don’t we? Today, I invite you to take a moment, reflect on your special gift, and think of one thing you can do to get it out into the world TODAY. It doesn’t have to be a huge step. For some great ideas on HOW to do just that, check out these articles:

•  Treat Yourself Well
• Be Your Own Best Friend
• What Creativity Taught Me About Getting Unstuck

Enjoy some of my favorite songs by Ms. Houston that so eloquently highlight the same positive messages I often tell my self (and my clients). Thank you, Ms. Houston. Your legacy of inspiration and hope lives on…

If you are one of the many people who is celebrating Valentine’s Day sans partner this year, don’t fret. Let me clue you in on a secret…

Being loved doesn’t require anyone else besides you.

Sound corny? Well just think about people you know who have partners and aren’t happy. And people in relationships “for the sake of…(the kids, finances, etc.).” Some may have you believing love is conditional, and that the only way to have love is to be loved by another. But if you don’t love yourself, how in the world can you expect someone else to love you?

Think about what love means to you. What things do people say and do when they love someone else? Are they critical or gentle with their comments? Do they find the best in others and situations or do they constantly berate those around them? What little things do they do to show love? Think about love in terms of your five senses: sight, touch, sound, taste, and smell. Whatever love means to you, make a point to figure it out. It’s so important to know how YOU experience love. Because once you have an idea, then you can make it happen for yourself, whether or not you are in a relationship.

This February 14^th (and beyond), treat yourself well by:

• Making a list of all the things that make you feel loved. Remember to think in terms of your five senses. For example, a particular word or phrase (such as “I love you”) might conjure up feelings of love (sound); or your favorite decadent dessert (chocolate) might stir up something (smell, taste).
• Picking one thing on your list each day and make it happen. If it’s a word or phrase, then say that to yourself.
• At the end of each day, finishing this sentence (either out loud or in a journal), “one thing I love about me is _____.”

For even more ideas on how to love yourself, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Loving the Reflection in the Mirror: The Secret Power of Self Love and Positive Self Talk.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Smarties: Heart Mapping © by gadl

Regardless of what we’ve been “programmed” to believe about ourselves (by others or the world), we all deserve to be:

• Happy
• Loved
• Accepted for who we are

PERIOD.

But somewhere along the way, we’re told (or shown) something different. Through our experiences, the words and actions of others, and messages in the media, we might learn to believe we don’t matter and we’re not worthy, which can lead to thinking and feeling bad about ourselves, which then leads to treating ourselves poorly. We often treat ourselves how we THINK we are, rather than how we TRULY are. And the vicious cycle begins – think bad about self leads to feel bad about self leads to treat self badly…and because we treat ourselves badly, it makes us think and feel worse about ourselves.

It’s time to stop this madness. And time to re-program yourself back to the truth…that you are worthy and lovable.

One trap many of us fall into is looking for others to make us happy, love us, and accept us, especially when we ourselves aren’t able to do this for ourselves. But when you expect others to do for you that which you cannot do for yourself, it can be a dangerous trap. Looking outside yourself for validation sends a message that your opinion, your beliefs, and your feelings don’t count. When in reality, they are the only ones that do.

So how do you get to the point of being happy, loved, and accepted? Start by taking a good, long (gentle) look in the mirror. One way to get back to loving yourself is to do the BEST FRIEND test. How would your best friend describe you? Would they have the same harsh things to say that run through your mind? Or would their words be peppered with compliments, strengths, and glowing qualities? Write down a paragraph (or two or three) describing yourself through the eyes of your best friend.

Once you write out your “best friend” description of yourself, read it. Then read it again. Then post it where you can see it. And every time you see it, read it. And take time to really FEEL it and let it in. Let a smile creep in, starting at your toes and working its way up to your face.

You really are your own best friend. Would you allow someone to talk bad about your best friend? If not, then why would you allow anyone (including yourself) to talk bad about you? Seems simple, but many of us don’t stop to think about the effects our own negative, self-deprecating thoughts and words have upon us. Wouldn’t it only make sense that saying more positive (and true) things about ourselves would have equally powerful effects on us?

To learn more about gentle and powerful ways to get back to loving yourself, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Loving the Reflection in the Mirror: The Secret Power of Self Love and Positive Self Talk.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Bff © by Texasbubba

Ready to change your problems into solutions? Change your thoughts. Change your perception. This video illustrates it so well…Enjoy!

How many times to do you hear people talking about being stuck? Stuck in financial situations. Stuck in jobs. Stuck in relationships. Stuck in thoughts. Stuck in fear. Stuckness seems to be an epidemic. But the idea of being stuck is really more about perspective and less about all that other stuff.

There’s an ebb and flow to life, to moods, to progress. Yet, it seems in our Tweeting, drive-through, instant-gratification society, we just don’t want to have anything to do with that. Any moments we aren’t moving at the speed of light toward happiness we perceive as wasted time.

As a creative person, the idea of ebb and flow is quite familiar to me. Inspiration strikes and I’m working for 10 hours straight on a song without moving from one spot. Inspiration evades and no ideas come or nothing I write sounds good. When I was younger, I would get upset that inspiration didn’t follow my commands of showing up when, where, and how I wanted. I used to call it a slump, or writer’s block, or being stuck. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to look at it a bit differently. From my own experience with the ebb and flow of inspiration, I’ve learned to:

1. Allow, not force or coerce, an idea to flow. It will show up in its own time. Sometimes this means focusing on something else entirely and giving my brain a rest. It also means not getting in the way of an idea once it comes. I call this a “stream of consciousness” approach, à la Freud, just letting the ideas flow, even if they don’t seem to make sense at the time.
2. Accept my ideas without judgment, as both part of and separate from myself. Inspired ideas come from anywhere and everywhere and are not only a representation of my experience and my perspective but also a manifestation of messages from intuition, spirit, or whatever you call that place that just knows. Sometimes I find my thoughts seem very random but as they unfold, they blossom into nuggets of wisdom. If I passed judgment during the process, these insights might never see the light of day.
3. Honor the quiet moments. Because writing music is a cathartic experience for me, I often have very strong emotional responses during the writing process. It’s not uncommon for me to weep with joy or sadness, depending on the theme of the song. But, if I had to live in that intense emotion all the time, I wouldn’t be able function. I’ve come to enjoy the times between the inspiration – the stillness, the anticipation – knowing they are preparing me for what is yet to come.

Think about how these seemingly simple, yet powerful, ideas about creativity and inspiration translate into other areas of our lives. Take a difficult relationship for example. What would happen if you allowed the relationship to unfold without forcing your opinions or ideas onto the other person, accepted the relationship (or the other person) without judgment, and honored the space and time away from that person? Would you feel differently about the relationship or other person? It’s important to realize that stuckness is just a temporary state of thinking.

Photo: Gum Shoe © by mahalie

Welcome to February, the month of LOVE. While most of us might think about love at this time of year as “Valentine’s Day,” flowers, chocolates, and cuddling with that special someone, there’s a different kind of love we can choose celebrate. It’s the kind of love that most of us don’t talk about, or maybe even think about, yet it’s one of the most important kind of loves we will ever have. Self love.

Before you roll your eyes and stop reading, consider this…How you do (or don’t) love and care for yourself is connected to everything in your life. Every success. Every failure. Every thought, feeling, and action.

When you approach life not liking what and who you see in the mirror every morning, you better believe it affects what you do, what you say, what you think, and ultimately who you are. Conversely, when you approach life liking (even loving) what and who you see in the mirror every morning, that also affects you. So which will you choose?

Unfortunately, it seems easier to focus on what we DON’T like about ourselves, whether physical attributes or character traits. And our society that values “perfection” (whatever THAT is) and holds to strict standards of physical beauty doesn’t help matters. You only have to look at TV commercials, magazine ads, and pretty much any kind of advertising to realize what you don’t have and what advertisers would have you believing that you need in order to be better, more worthy.

But the truth is that you are already the best you that you can be. Right now, in this moment. Imagine what life would be like if you believed:

• You are the perfect version of you.
• You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled.
• You are beautiful just the way you are.

How do you think believing these statements would affect how you FEEL about yourself, what ACTIONS you take, and HOW you treat yourself? If you dare to imagine that these statements are true, what are you waiting for? Live your life as if they are true. Because the truth is that they already are!

To learn more about the art of loving yourself, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Loving the Reflection in the Mirror: The Secret Power of Self Love and Positive Self Talk”. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Hearts (Explored!) © by qthomasbower

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”

~Marianne Williamson

It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong – with the world, with other people, and especially with ourselves. We are constantly bombarded with messages of not being “good enough” when told that in order to be happier, more fulfilled, a better parent, better lover, better person we need X, Y, or Z.  We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that the latest product or service can “fix” us or change us into the person we long to be. But when we look outside ourselves to feel better inside, it generally leads to more wanting of stuff and less actually feeling better about anything.

What if we spent the same amount of time and energy focusing on what’s RIGHT? Right with ourselves, right with others, and right with the world. Because as simple as it sounds, what we focus on and think about expands and gets drawn to us, whether it’s positive or negative. What would YOU like to attract?

Imagine just for a moment how life would be different if instead of giving in to the pressure of finding fault with yourself and those around you, you focused on:

• The positive qualities and strengths of yourself and others
• How you can brighten someone else’s day or ease their burden
• What you can do to show love to yourself consistently
• The amazing things being done to help people in your community and around the world
• Embracing and accepting yourself as you are

Can you see how focusing on those things would change the way you think…about yourself, others, and the world around you? Would it change your attitude or your actions?

If you’re so inclined to dare to be positive and focus on what is going well, here’s your challenge for the next week:

1. Pick one of the things on the list above to focus on for the next week. Write it down and keep it with you at all times, preferably where you can see it multiple times a day.
2. Say what you are focusing on aloud 10 times each day. For example, if you chose “what I can do to show myself love consistently” say something like “I consistently show myself love today” or “I choose to love myself today.”
3. Journal about your experience daily (or at the very least at the end of the week). Write what you notice about your mood, your attitude, your thoughts, and how you feel. Read what you wrote and notice if it is different from how you were doing before the challenge.

While it may be “easier” to focus on what’s wrong because that’s what so many people around us are doing, it is more productive and healthier to focus on what’s right. What do you really have to lose other than a poor attitude and a negative outlook?

I’d love to hear your comments and how your challenge goes. Please comment below.