How to Steer Life in a More Positive Direction

You are the driver in your own life, making decisions that affect which way you are headed, how you will get there, and what you will do once you get there. You will encounter road blocks, detours, and hazards, and of course you must deal with the other drivers on the road who might be headed in different directions. People may cut you off, slow down in front of you, honk at you, or otherwise attempt to distract you from your destination.

The good news is you are in the driver’s seat of your own life, as scary and unsettling as that may be. Your job, then, is to learn the rules of the road and how to maneuver your vehicle (aka you). Your vehicle will need regular maintenance and TLC to run properly.

Let’s take a closer look at your vehicle.

The Four Wheels

Think of the four wheels (or tires) on a car. In order to get you from point A to point B, you need all four of them to be in relatively good working order. If one becomes flat, your car will wobble and you may lose control. When looking how the wheels on a car relate to life, each has a different function:

• Body Sensations: This wheel is about information. Our bodies are constantly giving us information in the form of signals. A growly tummy means we’re hungry. A yawn means we’re tired or our brain needs more oxygen. A pain means something hurts and we need to adjust. And so on. Pay attention to your body and make any necessary adjustments. Eat when you are hungry. Drink when you are thirsty. Sleep when you are tired. You get the idea. But so many of us ignore these little signals or try to push through them because we’re too busy or we’re simply not paying attention.
• Thinking: This wheel has to do with not only what thoughts we have but also how we think overall. Our thoughts can include what we think about ourselves, others, and the world around us. They can be positive, negative, or neutral. They are reflected in the words we say. How we think is more about the patterns we adopt, such as thinking things are right or wrong (black and white thinking), or that others should know what we’re thinking (mind-reading), or that the worst will always happen (catastrophizing). What and how we think affects how we live our lives, what roads we take, how we drive, and where we end up.
• Feeling: This wheel is about the emotions we feel. Sadness, anger, pain, hurt, happiness, joy, frustration, and the list goes on. Many of us try to mask our feelings, pretending they don’t exist, denying them, or sweeping them under the rug. Feelings, however, are just signals. We tend to assign them as positive or negative based on what we associate with them. For example, if your experience of anger includes tension or pain in your body and/or negative thoughts about yourself, you will likely believe that anger is a negative emotion. Most of us believe that. But anger in and of itself is just a sign that something isn’t balanced and adjustments must be made in order to get back to balance.
• Doing: This wheel is all about our actions, what we do, how we react, how we behave. This is what not only we can see but what others can see. It is measureable, observable. And despite popular belief, we do have control over what we do. It is about making choices that are either consistent or inconsistent with who we are and where we are going. We get in trouble when we make a choice and we’re not happy with the consquences, so we tend to want to blame others or circumstances rather than take full responsibility.

As you may have guessed, all four wheels serve an important role in our lives, but they do not operate independent of one another. Thinking affects our feelings. Feelings affect our actions. Actions affect our body sensations. Each wheel is affected by all the others, which is absolutely wonderful news. It means that even a small change in one area will affect the other areas.

So if you aren’t exactly thrilled with where your life is headed right now, think about what one area you can change. Here are some tips to try:

• Instead of thinking that the worst is always going to happen, remind yourself of all the good things that have happened in your life. We tend to focus only on the negative, but truth be told, most of the bad things we think will happen never come true.
• Get some sleep. One of the biggest areas we neglect is sleep. We stay up late and get up early trying to squeak out every possible moment to get things done (or obsess about getting things done and not actually do them). Our bodies (and brains) need rest.
• Honor your feelings. Feelings come and go. They are natural. We tend to think that “negative” feelings will last forever, especially really intense ones. But it is impossible to sustain a high-intensity emotion forever. There is a natural flow to feelings. A beginning, leading up to a peak, then coming back down. Think of a bell curve. Allow your feelings to be expressed and you will soon realize life looks a bit more rosy on the other side.

For more tips on HOW to drive your life toward a more positive direction, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/turn-that-atittude, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Car N Motion © by TheBusyBrain