Think about what you think about most of the time. Does your inner dialogue consist of criticism (of yourself or others), negativity, judgments, what-if’s, shoulds, etc.? Or does that inner voice say much kinder, gentler words of encouragement, support, and positivity? My best guess is that we’ve heard it all, but we tend to listen to the harsher side more often.
When we’re born, we are a clean slate of possibilities, love, and non-judgment. As we get older and are exposed to various environments, other people’s perspectives, and experiences, our perspective changes. We adopt filters through which we see the world. There’s as many kind of filters as there are thoughts and feelings, but the two most basic ones are: Negative and Positive.
Using a negative filter, our perspective is always a bit tainted. We are critical of ourselves, which means we’re also critical of others. We may see the world as a big scary place and have difficulty trusting not only others but ourselves. Our life experiences have taught us that we are not safe, at least not completely, and that it is necessary to have our guards up. Our inner thoughts reflect our inner turmoil, and our behaviors are in line with this overall negativity too.
With a positive filter, our perspective is also a bit tainted. However, we are able to see the good in ourselves and others, and realize the positive side of most situations. When life throws a curve ball, we are able to quickly adapt and alter our thoughts and actions accordingly. Our inner thoughts reflect our belief that everything’s going to be okay. And we are able to make decisions from a more centered place.
One big difference between using a negative and positive filter is in what we look for. I’m a strong believer in that we can find evidence to support anything we want. If we are looking for the negative, we’ll find it…and a lot of it. But contrary to what we think, when we find the negative, we’re not more likely to turn it around. We’re actually just fueling a fire of justification, of being right, and saying “see, I told you life couldn’t be trusted.” And when we’re in that place, we tend to stay there.
If we are looking for the positive, we’ll also find that…and a lot of it. We can see that other people’s actions are about them, not us. We understand we may not have control over what happens around us, but we do have control over how we respond.
The good news is that you can choose to switch your filter from negative to positive at anytime. It’s really just about a shift in your attitude. Here’s some tips on how to make that shift:
- When you feel negativity creeping in, stop and take a deep breath. Say something completely contrary to what you are thinking. For example, if you think this is the worst situation you’ve ever experienced, tell yourself “I am so fortunate that this is all that is happening. Things could be worse. And I am strong enough to handle this.”
- Remind yourself of what you have to be thankful for. Make a list of all the wonderful things you have going for you. Keep this list with you at all time and refer to it when that negative filter rears its head.
- Make a preemptive strike. Before negativity even has a chance to surface, say something positive to yourself. You might start your day by using positive statemtns such as “I am confident,” I am strong,” “I am safe,” “I can handle any situation with grace and ease.”
We can all go to that dark, negative place sometimes. But we don’t have to stay there. Learning (and practicing) ways to switch over to the positive side can be truly beneficial to you in so many ways.
For more tips on HOW to turn that negative attitude around fear, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at http://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/turn-that-atittude, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.
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