As we approach February 14, I am compelled (yet again) to be the voice of the single woman who doesn’t need a relationship to define her, complete her, or make her feel loved. I get so passionate at this time of year when messages flood my TV, inbox, and newsfeed that spout lies (blatant and otherwise) like:
Good grief…get a grip!
If we believed everything we see and hear, we’d surely be hating ourselves, bathing in self-loathing so intense we would be cranky, tired, unproductive. We’d feel fearful, sad, and lonely. And we’d be ready to give up on life and ourselves.
A lot of us are already there (even people in relationships)! And it’s no wonder with messages like these.
I’m here to preach the TRUTH, though. The TRUTH is that:
And the biggest TRUTH of all…
Too often, we look outside ourselves to people and things to “make us” happy, “make us” complete, “make us” feel loved. As a trained psychotherapist, I cringe every time I hear someone say “how does it MAKE YOU feel?” Let me set the record straight…
Now before you start running through all the scenarios of how someone could “make you” do something by force, let me say that most of us aren’t going through life with a gun pointed to our heads. If you are, you’ve got bigger problems that not getting a diamond ring for Valentines’ Day.
I’m talking to those of you who get caught up in the lies and are looking outside yourself for love and validation. You know who you are! And you have got to understand that this is the reason you aren’t satisfied or happy. Because only YOU have control over your own feelings.
How about instead of relying on someone or something to “make you” feel loved, you make a commitment to love yourself?
In short, LOVE YOURSELF. Sure others love you too. And there are different types of love. But LOVE YOURSELF because…
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
If you’re looking for specific steps you can take to love yourself, I invite you to join me for my FREE 7 Day Love Yourself, Love Your Business Challenge. Find out more at http://www.krylyn.com/LoveChallenge.
Photo by: Shimelle Laine