The Dirty Little Secret Healers Are Afraid to Tell You

What could someone whose job, no calling, is to help you out of your stuck places and be the best version of you possibly be afraid to tell you?

It’s a dirty little secret among healing experts. Some embrace it. Some shy away from it. And some downright avoid talking about it.

The truth is (gulp)…We are human too.

I know this isn’t a shocker. But there are people out there who pretend like they got it all together all of the time when we all know that is a big fat LIE.

You either know someone or are someone who pretends life is a bowl of cherries and that you are above it all (at least part of the time).

The truth is most experts have SUFFERED. We’ve been to hell and back…a few times. And while we’ve come out stronger and wiser, we STILL have stuff to deal with just like everyone else.

Aside from the education and training we get, our best teachers are our mistakes, our failures, and all the CRAP we’ve had to overcome. We are experts because we know (inside and out) where our clients have been. Of course we all have different circumstances and different stories, but the way out is similar. We know the way out, even if we get stuck sometimes

There’s a phenomenon among experts too that many people don’t realize. Because we have compassion and empathy for others, we have a strong sense of integrity. That means we sometimes feel like frauds when we don’t have our stuff together…24/7. How can we help someone get out of their way when a part of our life is falling apart? It seems strange and out of sync.

But who has their life completely together in every area all of the time? Even doctors get ill, athletes gain weight, financial gurus file bankruptcy, and marriage therapists get divorced. So why would healing professionals be expected to be perfect all the time?

As someone who has been a healer for a long time, I must admit I still get blind-sided by the realization that life won’t be (nor should it be) perfect all the time. Stuff happens. And the best I can do, just like everyone else, is deal with it.

What helps me most during times when I am hard on myself for not having it all together?

  • Turning to my support system. I have a great support system of people (personal and professional) who tell it like it is. They’re not shy about pointing out when I’m getting in my own way and reminding me how to move it along (and be kind and gentle with myself).
  • Remembering the waves. Life has its ups and downs, like waves. If I can remember it’s all part of the natural flow, I’m able to more easily ride the wave and not get caught under water.
  • Embracing resistance. Whenever I notice resistance about something, which may come in the form of procrastination or avoidance, I ask what the deeper meaning is behind it. Sometimes I just need to give myself a break. And sometimes I need to let go of something completely.

One thing is for sure – I’ve been an expert in getting in my own damn way. And I’m sure I’ll continue to do that from time to time. It’s part of the journey. I’m grateful for all the lessons along the way that continue to remind me that it matters less that I get stuck and more that I get unstuck. I’m fortunate to have learned and practiced some of the best tools for getting unstuck and I love helping others along their journey as well. We’re all human, and we’re all in this together!

Looking for more inspiration about getting out of your own damn way? Join me for the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions, where I highlight people who have been there, done that, gotten out of their own damn way, and boldly embraced their dream and greatness. Get prepared to be inspired. Join us at

Photo by: Sarah

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