Tips on Having it All

Are you overraught with BBD Syndrome? (That’s Bigger Better Deal). Always looking for what’s next? Or more? Or something to fill you up and make you feel complete and whole? Ever feel like you’re on a never-ending search, spinning your wheels and never really ending up where you want? If you are,  you are not alone.

Our society perpetuates the myth that we must HAVE stuff in order to feel better and BE happy. Advertisers and marketers count on us to believe this myth so that we will keep buying stuff to fill whatever void we have. But all it does is create this vicious cycle of acquiring stuff we think will make us happy.

The truth is happiness must come from within. And once we can BE happy with whatever circumstances we’re facing, the stuff we desire will follow. I’m not necessarily talking stuff as in things (like material possessions), but stuff as in what we want our life to look like.

If you’ve heard of the law of attraction, this should all sound at least vaguley familiar. The law of attraction (brought to main stream popularity by the movie “The Secret”) is about creating the conditions for living the life you want. It’s about connecting to the feelings of having the life you want as if it were already true. It’s about BEING (i.e. feeling) in the PRESENT MOMENT in order to attract that which you want into your life. Sounds simple. But if it were simple, we’d all have figured it out by now, right?

So, what gets in the way of us being able to attract what we want? It might be easier (and a shorter list) to ask what DOESN’T get in the way. Any obstacle you can think of (time, money, obligations, etc.) can get in the way. But instead of tackling all those obstacles, there’s a little shortcut to tapping into the power of our emotions and ulttimately the power of attraction. And that is to be present, in the here and now – a task that seems so difficult and challenging for most of us to practice on the regular. Difficult and challenging, I think, only because it’s not what we’re used to.

To get into the present moment, here’s some tips you can try:

  1. Turn off distractions such as TV, cell phones, and other noises. Sit in a chair, feet flat on the floor, hands in your lap. Close your eyes. Then just notice your breath. Then take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Notice any changes in your body as you breathe in and out.
  2. Stop and take notice of any sounds around you. Close your eyes and begin to focus on all the different sounds you can hear. Then pick just one sound to focus on and let the other sounds fade away into the background.
  3. Find a piece of music you find relaxing. Put some headphones on and just listen to it without doing anything else. You might close your eyes to tune out visual distractions. Listen to the various parts of the song – different instruments, tempos, themes, words, etc. Notice how your body feels as you listen.

The first step to any good healing work is awareness, which involves being able to get into the present moment. We often are so overrun by distractions we forget to stop and notice what’s going on around us.

For more tips on how to get out of the HAVE-BE cycle, please, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, Being Vs. Doing: Relax Your Way to Greater Productivity.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Sales Bags © by I See Modern Britain


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