Finding Jomo: The Joy of Missing Out by Philip Dhingra
Guest Post by Philip Dhingra
I got out of my own damn way lately after two meditation-related coincidences during a stressful time for me. The first one is this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book How to Sit:
Non-action is already something. There are people who don’t seem to do very much, but their presence is crucial for the well-being of the world. You may know people like this, who are steady, not always busy doing things, not making a lot of money, or being engaged in a lot of projects, but who are very important to you; the quality of their presence makes them truly available. They are contributing non-action, the high quality of their presence. To be in the here and the now—solid and fully alive—is a very positive contribution to our collective situation.
This quote came at the perfect time, which is nearly every March in Austin, TX, during the SXSW Festival. The city turns into a zoo, not just because of all the festival-goers, but because Spring is one of the most beautiful times to be here. Everybody wants to throw events in March.
I frequently get so much “FOMO” (fear of missing out), that I exhaust myself stacking social activity after social activity, thinking by doing more, I’m doing better. This year was not much different than the last. And then after one of my meditation sessions, and after reading that quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, the thought occurred to me, “Why do I have to keep doing stuff?”
And then by coincidence, my friend Lydia Sadoudi introduced me to her own concept, “JOMO” (JOY of missing out), and I just stopped going out. I started reading more classic novels like Anna Karenina, and I spent more time lying on the floor with big headphones listening to new albums. And lo and behold, after easing up for a couple weeks, I felt more present in the fewer social activities I had. Who would of thought, that by taking care of yourself, you become better taking care of others?
What I love about the “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way” philosophy is that it’s self-improvement by subtraction, not addition. This is the best kind of self-improvement, and I should know, because my latest book Dear Hannah is a cautionary tale about self-improvement. The book has a happy ending though, as I discover books on meditation, which is the ultimate in non-self-improvement self-improvement.
Methods, hacks, tips, tricks, programs, and systems. These are all forms of activity, often peddled by self-improvement to try to get you from A to B. But oftentimes, the fastest way to get there is by doing nothing, and then realizing you’re already there.
ABOUT THIS GUEST: Philip Dhingra is an app developer from Austin, Texas. He created The Creative Whack Pack for iOS, which he collaborated on with creativity legend Roger von Oech. He also writes books, and his latest one, Dear Hannah, is a cautionary tale about self-improvement. In it he recounts 70 self-help books and methods he used over 16 years to change who he is. The results may surprise you. dearhannahbook.com
Listen to Philip’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.
