All posts by Krylyn
Listen to Elizabeth Tobin’s “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Story” on October 1, 2015
Join me as I interview Elizabeth Tobin on Thursday, October 1, as part of the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions. Powerful people sharing powerful stories of how they tamed their fears, embraced their greatness, and got out of their own damn way.
Sign up to listen to the LIVE or RECORDED interview for FREE by entering your name and email in the box that appears below…or head on over to the registration page.
ABOUT THIS GUEST: Liz Tobin can help you overcome your relationship challenges and experience more joy, connection and intimacy with your partner. She has the uncanny ability to identify and transform the hidden patterns you bring to your couples relationship that trigger arguments, create distance, and kill that emotional connection that you long for in your relationship. By clearing these patterns you can keep your relationship growing so that it supports both you and your partner over the long-term.
Listen to Haley Gray’s “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Story” on September 24, 2015
Join me as I interview Haley Gray on Thursday, September 24, as part of the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions. Powerful people sharing powerful stories of how they tamed their fears, embraced their greatness, and got out of their own damn way.
Sign up to listen to the LIVE or RECORDED interview for FREE by entering your name and email in the box that appears below…or head on over to the registration page.
ABOUT THIS GUEST: Haley Gray is a mom, Girl Scout Leader, serial entrepreneur, and graduate of Duke’s Fuqua School of Business. After starting and growing several businesses of her own to success, Haley wanted to provide the benefit of her experiences and expertise to others. She began coaching small business owners to achieve their own success. Passionate about helping women achieve their potential, she helps them overcome obstacles in leadership positions and entrepreneurial ventures. Haley supports entrepreneurs and contributes to their success by offering coaching services and resources for small businesses. Whether you want to get a new business off the ground or expand an existing business, Haley can help you.
The Adult Guide to Temper Tantrums
We’ve all seen the grumpy child in the store fall to the floor in despair, arms and legs flailing about, screaming and squawking. Some of us may look to the parent or caregiver who is with that child in judgment: “how could you let your child act this way in public?”
While it’s natural to look at a nearby parent when a child is seemingly out of control, the fact is parents have no real control over their children. And many times, if a child is having a temper tantrum it means they no longer have the capacity to deal with anything. Their resources are tapped. They are tired or hungry or over-stimulated or for whatever other reason just not capable of controlling themselves. It’s not really about mom saying “no” to the candy.
But I wonder how many of us look at that child and on some level think to ourselves…
Boy, kid, I really know how you feel.
Admit it. You sometimes downright ENVY that child. They get to really express how they’re feeling with their whole body. Who else but a child gets to outwardly show, with such enthusiasm and commitment, how frustrated they are?
Can you imagine sitting in a business meeting, frustrated with a co-worker or your boss or your client, and just shrieking NO at the top of your lungs, putting your hands over your ears and yelling “la la la” or sprawling out on the floor for a good old fashioned, “I don’t care who’s watching” tantrum?
As a child, temper tantrums are just part of the deal. Parents (and retailers everywhere) may not like it, but it comes with the territory. It’s expected. But act like that as an adult and you’ll likely get a psychiatric crisis team responding to a 911 call.
But what message does that send? Are we, as otherwise well-functioning, responsible, mature adults not allowed to get frustrated?
Hells to the NO.
Frustration is HEALTHY.
That’s why I teach my clients about the adult temper tantrum. After all, why should kids have all the fun?!?
Keep in mind, you may only want to do this in the privacy of your own home or office. But having some friends around to do this with can certainly be a load of fun too.
Ready to get your tantrum on?
- Scrunch your face tightly like the badass rebel that you are.
- Clench your fists.
- Make growly or other throaty, gruff sounds.
- Declare your frustration: “I’m not going to take it anymore” (or other choice words of your choosing).
- Stomp your feet.
- Scream, shout, yell.
- Punch the air.
- Tell your frustration (or who you’re frustrated with) where it/they can go.
- More growly or throaty sounds.
- Stand still. Be quiet. Take some deep breaths.
- Notice how you feel after your tantrum – better, worse, more relaxed, more tense, silly, free, energized, depleted, self-conscious, etc.
Typically this exercise leads to laughter (which is a release all on its own). When frustrated, we tend to take ourselves way too seriously, so doing something like this give us permission to act child-like, which can be (dare I say) FUN.
Remember, frustration is normal. And while most of us aren’t ready to go full-on “kicking and screaming on the floor of the grocery store” tantruming, we can certainly enjoy this more grown-up version, which provides the opportunity to release your tension through your voice and your body.
So stop envying the child having a fit in public and go have your own damn temper tantrum already! I dare you!
Feeling brave? Share how your tantrum went below in the comments.
Listen to Felicia Reed’s “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Story” on September 17, 2015
Join me as I interview Felicia Reed on Thursday, September 17, as part of the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions. Powerful people sharing powerful stories of how they tamed their fears, embraced their greatness, and got out of their own damn way.
Sign up to listen to the LIVE or RECORDED interview for FREE by entering your name and email in the box that appears below…or head on over to the registration page.
ABOUT THIS GUEST: Felicia Reed serves as Founder and Owner of Put It In Perspective, LLC. Ms. Reed is a Life and Spiritual Coach as well as a Holistic Wellness Advocate. She works with groups and individuals to promote positive and constructive life changes and infuses the use of energy healing along with the use of essential oils and other modalities to help achieve goals. Ms. Reed also has a strong desire to give back and has served with various professional boards and community service programs as a key volunteer. With a formal background in quality management, Ms. Reed firmly believes that LIFE IS A PROCESS.
Listen to Jarrett Ransom’s “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Story” on September 10, 2015
Join me as I interview Jarrett Ransom on Thursday, September 10, as part of the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions. Powerful people sharing powerful stories of how they tamed their fears, embraced their greatness, and got out of their own damn way.
Sign up to listen to the LIVE or RECORDED interview for FREE by entering your name and email in the box that appears below…or head on over to the registration page.
ABOUT THIS GUEST: Jarrett Ransom is the founder of ReAwaken, a women’s empowerment organization and the author of Overcoming Obstacles and Staying Positive. This book is for anyone who has experienced an obstacle or knows someone facing one and intended to provide valuable tips and share personal experiences. Jarrett shares her life’s message and experiences openly in hopes of spreading inspiration to others. Growing up in a small town with a wonderful childhood, she has experienced failure, pain, rejection and has hit many bumps in the road. Keeping her head held high and choosing to be the victor (not the victim), she is focused on motivating and inspiring individuals to always seek the positive in life and to find the silver lining in everything. Get ready to build your lemonade stand and take charge of your own life. ReAwaken provides resources and tools for adult women to grow on their personal journey. Through the supportive community that ReAwaken provides, it has impacted thousands of women in the Arizona area and beyond to live their passion and follow their dreams.
It’s Never “About Me”
One thing I’ve learned in so many areas of my life – from dating, to parenting, to entrepreneurship – is that it’s never really about me.
From the tantrums and the defensiveness, to the epiphanies and joy, people’s reactions have less to do with me, and much more to do with them.
That may seem like an odd statement coming from someone who talks a lot about self-care, owning your value, and getting out of your own damn way. But let me explain.
I’ve been writing, re-writing, and refining the “About Me” section on my new website for months. Granted, it’s a section I’ve struggled writing on previous versions of my website for years. It’s a funny little section where you need to give people enough information about yourself for them get to know you and what you do. It also lends credibility to anything you’re offering, whether products or services.
But this funny little section is not really about me, it’s about YOU…the reader, my audience. And it’s not about me owning my value or getting out of my own damn way as much as it is in showing YOU how you can own YOUR value and get out of YOUR own damn way. Of course, the trick is I must be able to do those things first in order to pave the way.
And believe me, I have! I’m the poster child for NOT owning my value and getting in my own damn way, which led me to flip that all around.
Sure I can ramble on about who I am, where I’ve come from, and what I’ve done. I have a long list of credentials, education, training, accomplishments, and experience. And it’s interesting (to a point…at least to me and some people who know me personally). But I’ve learned that people don’t really care about all that.
That’s not to say people don’t care. Not at all. People do care. They care about their pain, their discomfort, and their fear…so much that they want to get out of it. And that’s why they’re looking at my “About Me” page. To see if I can help.
But it wasn’t until I got this key concept that my attitude and my writing started to shift. Then I realized what people really want to know is:
- Do you know what I’m going through
- Can you help me move past my challenge
- Do you have answers that really work
- Can I trust you enough to help me
And when I got really honest with myself, I realized that’s what I want to know too when I’m looking for support. Sure it’s a plus when people have fancy letters behind their name but those don’t always translate into real-world results.
Of course, there’s the balancing act of showing people what you can do for them while also showing them who you are. I’ve always had a difficult time NOT being transparent (which can be a tricky thing in certain circumstances). But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As I was crafting the latest version of my “About Me” page, what really helped me the most was remembering that I’ve been in the shoes of those who are reading it…looking for answers, support, and guidance. And what has helped me the most is someone who is brave enough to be:
- Real
- Honest
- Candid
- Vulnerable
So this is what I offer, first and foremost, in everything I do. Because if those qualities aren’t there, then what healing can really occur?
Got a thought or comment? Leave it below.