Love and Football: What Football Can Teach Us About Loving Ourselves

As many people are getting ready for the Super Bowl tomorrow here in Phoenix, I’m staying far away. You see, I know that being in traffic, around people who are rowdy, and near big crowds are things that send me over the edge. Of course, I’m not a fan of football either, so that might have something to do with it too.

What I am doing is getting ready to kick-off the 14 Day Love Yourself Challenge, which coincidentally starts tomorrow on Super Bowl Sunday.

And that got me to thinking…how are loving yourself and football related?

Football takes:

• Passion
• Commitment
• Acceptance

And so does loving yourself! Hmmm…I think I’m onto something here…

Passion is all about what motivates us. It is the drive behind our actions and what keeps us going when things get rough. In football, passion is seen long before a player reaches the Super Bowl. It’s seen on football fields everywhere with young players who have a dream and the drive to play because it’s what lights them up inside. In loving yourself, it’s important to know what your passion is. What to you wake up for? What drives you to do what you do? We all have a passion for something. Knowing what that is AND routinely doing it are essential.

Commitment is all about making a decision to do something and following through on it. It’s about not letting obstacles derail you from your goal and keeping the faith. In football, commitment is seen on and off the field…in how players train, hone their craft, and use their experience and skills on the field. In loving yourself, commitment is seen in how you treat yourself. What are you committed to? If you’re committed to loving yourself, then you will be taking action to be kind and gentle with your thoughts and body.

Acceptance is about allowing and acknowledging what is happening in this moment. It’s about being open to the present moment while also understanding the past and future have influence but aren’t in charge. In football, acceptance is seen in how players shift what they are doing to fit their opposing team’s strategies. If they whined and threw a temper tantrum because the other team got the ball, not a lot would get done. But they take a time out, re-group, and change their game plan. In loving yourself, acceptance is key. You must accept what your current reality is, which is the first step in the journey to change it (if that’s what you wish to do).

Loving yourself is a game-changer. On the offense, you’ll be in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. On the defense, you’ll be able to tackle (and break free from) the grip of negativity, powerlessness, and blah-dom. And it allows you to face adversity knowing someone will always be in your corner to cheer you on.

For more tips and specific steps you can take to love yourself, I invite you to join me for my FREE 14 Day Love Yourself Challenge. Find out more at http://www.krylyn.com/14DayLoveYourselfChallenge.

Photo by: COD Newsroom

Love is an Inside Job

As we approach February 14, I am compelled (yet again) to be the voice of the single woman who doesn’t need a relationship to define her, complete her, or make her feel loved. I get so passionate at this time of year when messages flood my TV, inbox, and newsfeed that spout lies (blatant and otherwise) like:

• A diamond ring is supposed to solve everything
• Being coupled off is the ONLY way to have a smile on my face
• He doesn’t love me if he doesn’t buy me stuff
• I must be unlovable if I’m not in a relationship

Good grief…get a grip!

If we believed everything we see and hear, we’d surely be hating ourselves, bathing in self-loathing so intense we would be cranky, tired, unproductive. We’d feel fearful, sad, and lonely. And we’d be ready to give up on life and ourselves.

Oh, wait…

A lot of us are already there (even people in relationships)! And it’s no wonder with messages like these.

I’m here to preach the TRUTH, though. The TRUTH is that:

• We are ALL lovable, worthy, and deserving of LOVE
• We are responsible for our own happiness

And the biggest TRUTH of all…

Love is an inside job

Too often, we look outside ourselves to people and things to “make us” happy, “make us” complete, “make us” feel loved. As a trained psychotherapist, I cringe every time I hear someone say “how does it MAKE YOU feel?” Let me set the record straight…

• No one MAKES you feel anything
• No circumstance MAKES you feel complete
• Nothing can MAKE you feel or do or be anything

Now before you start running through all the scenarios of how someone could “make you” do something by force, let me say that most of us aren’t going through life with a gun pointed to our heads. If you are, you’ve got bigger problems that not getting a diamond ring for Valentines’ Day.

I’m talking to those of you who get caught up in the lies and are looking outside yourself for love and validation. You know who you are! And you have got to understand that this is the reason you aren’t satisfied or happy. Because only YOU have control over your own feelings.

How about instead of relying on someone or something to “make you” feel loved, you make a commitment to love yourself?

• If no one is “in love” with you right now (or even if they are), BE IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF!
• If you want flowers (or chocolates or jewelry), TREAT YOURSELF!
• If you want to be showered with compliments and appreciation, SAY NICE THINGS TO YOURSELF!
• If you feel like others don’t accept you, ACCEPT YOURSELF!

In short, LOVE YOURSELF. Sure others love you too. And there are different types of love. But LOVE YOURSELF because…

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
 

– Buddha

If you’re looking for specific steps you can take to love yourself, I invite you to join me for my FREE 7 Day Love Yourself, Love Your Business Challenge. Find out more at http://www.krylyn.com/LoveChallenge.

Photo by: Shimelle Laine

Q&A: How Can I Be More Creative?

In today’s Q&A video blog, I’ll be answering a question I get asked a lot about creativity:

How can I be more creative?

Before I can even begin to answer that, I need to know what you mean by that. Watch and listen as I describe the different types of creativity and give some quick tips for you to start expanding your creativity.

Want to know more about how you can bust through fear, break through the barriers keeping you stuck, get more creative, and GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY?

Ask your question and you just might see it in an upcoming video blog. Simply send your question to krylyn@krylyn.com.

Do You Trust Yourself, Part 1: The Ugly Truth About Distrust

Recently as I was successfully avoiding work by answering emails and browsing Facebook, I came across a theme, which prompted this question to pop into my head:

Do you trust yourself?

It’s a seemingly simple question, but upon further examination has so many layers to it. Let me get you started by asking some more questions.

• Do you get excited about something only to question it later on?
• Do you believe you are not safe in the world?
• Do you spend your time and energy running away from things that are scary and painful?
• Do you question your judgment?
• Do you take a long time to make decisions, weighing every little pro or con – or even AVOID making decisions?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, I’d say you might have some issues trusting yourself.

As I study more and work more with people on moving through their fear, I realize that trusting oneself is absolutely key. But really, how many of us even know what that truly means?

We know about trusting others, when trust is broken, ways to earn trust back, but the underlying assumption here is that trust is outside of us. It is bestowed upon others or earned. And that we are somehow separate from it.

But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I said to someone recently as we were talking about dating that what I have learned over the years about trust in relationships is really how to trust myself.

I took a long break from dating to focus on raising my son and building my career. It was a choice. And it was a choice that was, in part if I’m totally honest, based on my fear of trusting.

I used to think my problem was trusting others. I grew up in such a chaotic, unpredictable environment that I learned I couldn’t trust the people close to me. I couldn’t trust their words to match their actions, or their actions to provide me with the safety and comfort children need to thrive. Frankly, I learned how to distrust, and I suspect most of us have learned that lesson all too well.

But the unfortunate byproduct of not trusting others is that we somehow throw ourselves in that mix. Logically, if people close to us are not trustworthy, then by default, we are untrustworthy as well.

When we don’t trust ourselves, we:

• Have difficulty making decisions
• Question ourselves and our choices
• Look to others to define and validate us
• Experience high levels of fear and anxiety
• Are more likely to distract ourselves or avoid certain people, places, and things in our lives

Sound familiar?

Just as we learned along the way to not trust, there is a way to re-learn how to trust again, which is good news, right?

In Part 2, Do You Trust Yourself, Part 2: The Beautiful Truth About Trust, I’ll explore what trust really is and give some tips on how you can trust yourself.

Photo by: Capture Queen

Q&A: How Do I Get Rid of Fear?

Welcome to the first episode of my new Q&A video blog series. Today I answer a question I get asked ALL THE TIME:

How do I get rid of fear?

Hmmm…that’s an interesting one. Watch as I give the low-down on what fear is and how to use it to your advantage.

Want to know more about how you can bust through fear, break through the barriers keeping you stuck, get more creative, and GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY?

Ask your question and you just might see it in an upcoming video blog. Simply send your question to krylyn@krylyn.com.

Ready to Get Past Those Fears?

Let me ask you a question: What would your life be like if fear didn’t get in the way? I know. It’s hard to imagine. But take a moment to think about what it would be like if you could:

• Overcome the fears and self doubt that hold you back in your everyday life
• Increase your self-esteem and let go of negative programming and limiting beliefs
• Create more love, trust and satisfaction in your life
• Eliminate negativity and create positivity around you

I’m excited to share with you some tried and tested techniques for overcoming fear in my upcoming workshop “Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway”®. Come spend a day investing in YOU, your future, and your dreams. Learn and practice techniques that have helped more than 12 million people worldwide overcome their fear.

Watch and listen to what previous workshop attendees had to say about this workshop:

Spots are limited, so be sure to grab yours before it’s too late.

http://www.krylyn.com/feelthefear

Isn’t it time to face your fears and live the life of your dreams? You are so worth it!