How to Steer Life in a More Positive Direction

You are the driver in your own life, making decisions that affect which way you are headed, how you will get there, and what you will do once you get there. You will encounter road blocks, detours, and hazards, and of course you must deal with the other drivers on the road who might be headed in different directions. People may cut you off, slow down in front of you, honk at you, or otherwise attempt to distract you from your destination.

The good news is you are in the driver’s seat of your own life, as scary and unsettling as that may be. Your job, then, is to learn the rules of the road and how to maneuver your vehicle (aka you). Your vehicle will need regular maintenance and TLC to run properly.

Let’s take a closer look at your vehicle.

The Four Wheels

Think of the four wheels (or tires) on a car. In order to get you from point A to point B, you need all four of them to be in relatively good working order. If one becomes flat, your car will wobble and you may lose control. When looking how the wheels on a car relate to life, each has a different function:

• Body Sensations: This wheel is about information. Our bodies are constantly giving us information in the form of signals. A growly tummy means we’re hungry. A yawn means we’re tired or our brain needs more oxygen. A pain means something hurts and we need to adjust. And so on. Pay attention to your body and make any necessary adjustments. Eat when you are hungry. Drink when you are thirsty. Sleep when you are tired. You get the idea. But so many of us ignore these little signals or try to push through them because we’re too busy or we’re simply not paying attention.
• Thinking: This wheel has to do with not only what thoughts we have but also how we think overall. Our thoughts can include what we think about ourselves, others, and the world around us. They can be positive, negative, or neutral. They are reflected in the words we say. How we think is more about the patterns we adopt, such as thinking things are right or wrong (black and white thinking), or that others should know what we’re thinking (mind-reading), or that the worst will always happen (catastrophizing). What and how we think affects how we live our lives, what roads we take, how we drive, and where we end up.
• Feeling: This wheel is about the emotions we feel. Sadness, anger, pain, hurt, happiness, joy, frustration, and the list goes on. Many of us try to mask our feelings, pretending they don’t exist, denying them, or sweeping them under the rug. Feelings, however, are just signals. We tend to assign them as positive or negative based on what we associate with them. For example, if your experience of anger includes tension or pain in your body and/or negative thoughts about yourself, you will likely believe that anger is a negative emotion. Most of us believe that. But anger in and of itself is just a sign that something isn’t balanced and adjustments must be made in order to get back to balance.
• Doing: This wheel is all about our actions, what we do, how we react, how we behave. This is what not only we can see but what others can see. It is measureable, observable. And despite popular belief, we do have control over what we do. It is about making choices that are either consistent or inconsistent with who we are and where we are going. We get in trouble when we make a choice and we’re not happy with the consquences, so we tend to want to blame others or circumstances rather than take full responsibility.

As you may have guessed, all four wheels serve an important role in our lives, but they do not operate independent of one another. Thinking affects our feelings. Feelings affect our actions. Actions affect our body sensations. Each wheel is affected by all the others, which is absolutely wonderful news. It means that even a small change in one area will affect the other areas.

So if you aren’t exactly thrilled with where your life is headed right now, think about what one area you can change. Here are some tips to try:

• Instead of thinking that the worst is always going to happen, remind yourself of all the good things that have happened in your life. We tend to focus only on the negative, but truth be told, most of the bad things we think will happen never come true.
• Get some sleep. One of the biggest areas we neglect is sleep. We stay up late and get up early trying to squeak out every possible moment to get things done (or obsess about getting things done and not actually do them). Our bodies (and brains) need rest.
• Honor your feelings. Feelings come and go. They are natural. We tend to think that “negative” feelings will last forever, especially really intense ones. But it is impossible to sustain a high-intensity emotion forever. There is a natural flow to feelings. A beginning, leading up to a peak, then coming back down. Think of a bell curve. Allow your feelings to be expressed and you will soon realize life looks a bit more rosy on the other side.

For more tips on HOW to drive your life toward a more positive direction, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/turn-that-atittude, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Car N Motion © by TheBusyBrain

Gratitude Journal: Day 11

Today I am grateful for the support of people who truly care. There was a time in my life I thought support meant just being there physically and offering any words. That kind of support often left me feeling either empty inside or reeling when the words offered by others kept me stuck in negativity. Support really is about offering what we need, when we need it, whether we think we need it or not. It’s about truth, honesty, integrity, compassion, and empathy. I am grateful for people in my life who are truly supportive.

Got your own gratitude to share? Feel free to post a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: Two hands © by nojhan

Gratitude Journal: Day 10

Today I am grateful for routines. Knowing what to expect and having rituals can be comforting, especially during times of turmoil or chaos. Routines can also be a way to show myself how much I matter that I would give myself the gift of consistency – in the words I use, in the thoughts I choose, in the actions I take.

What are you grateful for today? Feel free to share your gratitudes by posting a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Gratitude Journal: Day 9

Today I am grateful for Kleenex. It is truly one of the best support tools out there. Soft, soothing, and always ready to catch the remnants of our emotional or physical issues.

Got gratitude? Share yours below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: You really don

Gratitude Journal: Day 8

Today I am grateful for my mind and body signals telling me to slow down. There are times when we get so caught up in tasks and getting things checked off our to-do lists that we forget to slow down and take time out for ourselves. When this happens, we can choose to heed the warnings we get from our mind and body, things like difficulty concentrating, fatigue, irritability, negative thoughts, or we can choose to honor those signals. Today I choose to honor those signals and thank my mind and body for its ability to communicate with me so eloquently.

Got your own gratitude to share? Feel free to post a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: Yoga © by RelaxingMusic

Review: Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway

In her best-selling book Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway,  Susan Jeffers talks about the dirty truths about fear and gives practical tips on how to move through fear to get to the other side. She also shares candid moments of her own life and how she has struggled and overcome.

One point that really sticks with me from her work is her honesty about fear. Fear isn’t going to go away. For us to accomplish what we want, get to feeling how we want, and have the life we want (and deserve) we MUST learn to deal with our fear. A big misconception is that people who accomplish great things aren’t afraid. They certainly are. They just “do it anyway,” take action and move forward despite the fear.

Some of us learn from an early age that fear is “bad” and when we feel it we become stuck or paralyzed. But it is possible to feel the fear and choose to NOT let it paralyze us. Jeffers really hits the mark on the importance of taking action and using proven tools and techniques, like surrounding ourselves with things, messages, and people who will support us in moving through the fear.

The title of this book alone draws people in, and is a very concise message that underscores Jeffers’ work and life philosophy. I highly recommend this book if you are challenged with stuckness and letting fear run your life in any area.

UPDATE: I love this book so much I became a licensed trainer to teach its methods. Join me for a full-day workshop on how to overcome your fear and live the life of your dreams. http://www.krylyn.com/feelthefear