Can He Really Take Away Your Pain?

I got the music in me not only as a songwriter but also as a dancer. And I am a HUGE fan of Fox’s “So You Think You Can Dance.” There’s a handful of dancers who have created a big impact on me. Each season there’s one or two performances that really stand out as cutting down to the heart of things. Not even out of the auditions yet, this season is not disappointing. Check out this one audition from a young man who claims he can take away your pain through his dancing. You’ll have to decide for yourself if he can do that or not. But he certainly has some mad talent. Enjoy what he calls his “exorcist style” dance…

From Complaining to Inspiration

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

It’s always amazing to me where I find inspiration. From driving around, to a story in the news, to the own inner workings of my mind, ideas come from anywhere and everywhere. Yet, having the time to do anything with that inspiration is another story. Or, shall I say making the time to do something with that inspiration…

After succumbing to some of the stresses of my life over the last few weeks, I realized I haven’t been doing as much with my inspiration lately as I would like. I found myself griping about all the “shoulds” and “have to’s” on my to-do list, and lamenting the days when I had time to let an idea just unfold, whether it was working on an article, book, song, etc. A while ago, when I was having a long pity party, my son looked at me and simply said “if it’s that important to you, you should spend at least two hours a week doing it.” Out of the mouths of babes. Why didn’t I think of that? Truth is, I had, but rather than just acting on it, I was spending time stuck in all the things keeping me from what I wanted to do. Does that ever happen to you?

Do you ever notice that it seems to take much more energy complaining than it does doing something to change the situation? I know it does for me. Yet it is easy to fall into the illusion that complaining is helping. That is not to say that venting about a difficult situation isn’t helpful. It sure can be to alleviate some of the pent up feelings. But when venting becomes frequent and is just a rehashing of the same things, it can become destructive and unhealthy.

The trick is to get yourself out of that stuck place and into the space where inspiration lives again. Although it can seem like a monumental task (which is another illusion), it may simply be a matter of changing your mind.

Here’s some things to try that may help you jump start your inspiration and get out of that stuck place:

1. Use seemingly wasted time, like waiting in the doctor’s office, to do something you want to do, like read a book, listen to music, meditate, or write a letter. Be prepared by always carrying a bag of things you want to do.
2. Identify someone who is supportive of you and meet them for coffee or lunch to discuss what you want to do (not what you don’t).
3. Change your scenery. Go to the park, the zoo, or somewhere you don’t go to very often (especially in nature). Sometimes a simple change of surroundings can shift your energy and mood and get you back in touch with what is important to you.
4. Tell your stress to take a vacation. Declare a specific amount of time, 5 minutes to start, as “no-stress” time. Dare to dream, hope, visualize, etc. the life you want for yourself.
5. Remember this is your life. Not your employer’s life, not the economy’s life, not your parents’ or partner’s life. If you don’t own it, someone or something else will.

Instead of spending your precious time and energy focused on what you don’t want, make an effort to focus on what you want. I bet you’ll notice a difference. And I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below.

Photo: Light Bulb © by olga.belobaba

Tips on Having it All

Are you overraught with BBD Syndrome? (That’s Bigger Better Deal). Always looking for what’s next? Or more? Or something to fill you up and make you feel complete and whole? Ever feel like you’re on a never-ending search, spinning your wheels and never really ending up where you want? If you are,  you are not alone.

Our society perpetuates the myth that we must HAVE stuff in order to feel better and BE happy. Advertisers and marketers count on us to believe this myth so that we will keep buying stuff to fill whatever void we have. But all it does is create this vicious cycle of acquiring stuff we think will make us happy.

The truth is happiness must come from within. And once we can BE happy with whatever circumstances we’re facing, the stuff we desire will follow. I’m not necessarily talking stuff as in things (like material possessions), but stuff as in what we want our life to look like.

If you’ve heard of the law of attraction, this should all sound at least vaguley familiar. The law of attraction (brought to main stream popularity by the movie “The Secret”) is about creating the conditions for living the life you want. It’s about connecting to the feelings of having the life you want as if it were already true. It’s about BEING (i.e. feeling) in the PRESENT MOMENT in order to attract that which you want into your life. Sounds simple. But if it were simple, we’d all have figured it out by now, right?

So, what gets in the way of us being able to attract what we want? It might be easier (and a shorter list) to ask what DOESN’T get in the way. Any obstacle you can think of (time, money, obligations, etc.) can get in the way. But instead of tackling all those obstacles, there’s a little shortcut to tapping into the power of our emotions and ulttimately the power of attraction. And that is to be present, in the here and now – a task that seems so difficult and challenging for most of us to practice on the regular. Difficult and challenging, I think, only because it’s not what we’re used to.

To get into the present moment, here’s some tips you can try:

1. Turn off distractions such as TV, cell phones, and other noises. Sit in a chair, feet flat on the floor, hands in your lap. Close your eyes. Then just notice your breath. Then take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Notice any changes in your body as you breathe in and out.
2. Stop and take notice of any sounds around you. Close your eyes and begin to focus on all the different sounds you can hear. Then pick just one sound to focus on and let the other sounds fade away into the background.
3. Find a piece of music you find relaxing. Put some headphones on and just listen to it without doing anything else. You might close your eyes to tune out visual distractions. Listen to the various parts of the song – different instruments, tempos, themes, words, etc. Notice how your body feels as you listen.

The first step to any good healing work is awareness, which involves being able to get into the present moment. We often are so overrun by distractions we forget to stop and notice what’s going on around us.

For more tips on how to get out of the HAVE-BE cycle, please, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Being Vs. Doing: Relax Your Way to Greater Productivity.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/being-vs-doing, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Sales Bags © by I See Modern Britain

Planting Seeds For the Future

If you want to grow corn, plant corn. Simple concept. But when it comes to what we want in life, what seeds do we plant?

Think of your thoughts as the seeds. Are you planting clear goals with specific outcomes? Or are you planting vague ideas, fear, or other things you don’t necessarily want?

Be mindful of your thoughts, for they are the gatekeepers to your future. What you plant today you will surely see the evidence of tomorrow.

Here’s a little movie outlining this concept. Enjoy!

Self Care Tip: Focus on What Works

Do you often struggle in one or more areas of your life? Finances, health, relationships, work, etc.? It seems like the areas in which we find challenges are ones we focus on, which only makes sense if you believe, like many of us seem to, that you must fix what is broken. Society bombards us with messages of improving these (and other) areas of our life. And we must listen, because the messages keep coming.

But how much time do we spend focusing on the areas that ARE working well? If you’re like most people, I’m guessing you don’t focus much on those at all. It’s easier to see what we don’t like rather than what we do. It’s only human nature. Yet, if we’re breathing (and reading this), we must be doing something right.

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Focus on what ISN’T working and you create more of…what isn’t working. Focus on what IS working and you create more of that. Simple concept. Tough to keep in mind when life happens around you.

So what are you doing that is working for you? Do you take time to recognize those things, or just gloss over them, sometimes unconsciously, on your way to thoughts of what isn’t working well? Take some time to focus on what is working and shift your perspective. Here’s some tips to try:

1. Write a list of things that are working well for you. Things that are working well are not areas that require a lot from you. They are things that happen on auto-pilot and can be as simple as taking five minutes in the morning to stretch, taking a walk around the block, or brushing your teeth before bed. Keep this list with you and add to it as you think of more. Look at it when you are having one of those “nothing is working well” moments.
2. Pick one thing from your “things that are working well” list and DO MORE OF IT.
3. Celebrate what is working for you. So often we take for granted the things that aren’t a cause of stress because we get caught up in focusing on what is stressful. But again, that takes the focus off what is going well and onto what isn’t. Be sure to take a moment to recognize what works and celebrate it. Celebrating success can be as simple as a pat on the back or a kind word.
4. Tell someone else what you appreciate about them. Taking time out to recognize someone else is a great way to connect with what is working. And it helps set the tone for you being able to recognize what is working for you in your own life.

Remember, life has its ups and downs. What you choose to focus on contributes to how you deal with those ups and downs. So go focus on what’s working well and see what happens.

Photo: Examining Clouds © by katerha

Burn-Out Schmurn-Out: How to Transform Back to a Human Being (Rather Than a Human Doing)

Our society values accomplishments. Set a goal, work hard, achieve your goal. Rinse and repeat. But is life only about achievement? And if we’re always focused on doing doing doing, what can happen to our being or our spirit?

BURN OUT, that’s what.

See if any of this applies to you:

• feeling tired most of the time
• lack of energy
• irritability
• excessive worry
• eating too much or too little
• sleeping too much or too little
• working too many hours
• difficulty concentrating
• losing or misplacing things
• negative thoughts about yourself, others, and/or  your life
• feeling stuck and unable to move forward in one or more areas of your life

If you can check off one or more on the list above, you may be headed toward (or in full blown) burn out.

Burn out happens when the resources you have to deal with life’s stresses get overburdened. And that can happen when too much comes at you at once, or when you don’t get a break between stressful events and situations, or when you don’t take time out from stress to recharge your energy. The thing about burn out is that it’s sneaky. It can happen to anyone, generally happens slowly over time, and can be difficult to detect until you’re in complete overwhelm.

Burn out is also deceptive. We can get easily tricked into thinking if we just did more, worked harder, spent more time tending to our long to-do lists, that we can get on top of it. Enter society’s message of DO DO DO and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

The truth is that in order to get what you want to get done, you must put one thing at the top of your to-do list, and that’s you. Or more specifically time away from all the doing to just be. Be who you are. Be in the moment. Be a human being, rather than a human doing.

For tips on how to get back to a human being (rather than a human doing), please, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Being Vs. Doing: Relax Your Way to Greater Productivity.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/being-vs-doing, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.