Want to Learn Ways to Boost Your Confidence and Self Esteem?

March is the beginning of Spring and RENEWAL. And the perfect time to renew your commitment to yourself and to any new goals you’ve set for the new year. Sure it’s easy to get off track, and that’s exactly why we’re taking a look at it now. Before it gets even more off track and you move to an attitude of “why bother now.”

It’s often the small steps we take that make the biggest difference. But when we get overwhelmed and side-tracked with all the details of our lives, it’s easy to succumb to the pressure and go back to what we know, even if what we know isn’t good for us.

Are you ready to add some small steps to your life that will have BIG pay-offs and lead to MORE calm, MORE peace, MORE success, and MORE confidence? Then please join me for March’s FREE Teleseminar…“Consistency is Key: How Routines Can Boost Your Confidence.”

In this teleseminar, I’ll cover:

• The Myths (and Truths) About Being Consistent
• How NOT Having Routines is Magnifying Your Stress and Possibly Sending You Over the Edge
• 3 Routines You Can Add to Your Life Today to Boost Your Confidence and Self Esteem

Don’t delay. Sign up today. The live call is coming soon. But don’t worry, if you can’t attend live, you can still sign up and get access to the recording. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up.

10 Ways to Magnify Your Stress, Send Yourself Over the Edge, and Stay in the Drama Zone

WARNING: A sense of humor is required to fully appreciate this article.

For all the drama-seekers, chaos-creators, and wheel-spinners, this article is for YOU. Don’t get bogged down with all that mumbo-jumbo about being happy, reaching your goals, and blah blah blah. It’s all a bunch of #@*&! You know where the real fun lies…in never knowing what’s going to happen, never being prepared for the unexpected, and always feeling disconnected, out-of-sorts, and ready to explode with frustration and stress. So read on, my dear drama queens (and kings). Read how to stay in that place you love oh so well…the DRAMA ZONE!

1. Say yes to every request that comes your way. You don’t want people to not like you, think bad about you, or talk about you behind your back. Besides, everyone else’s needs are a much higher priority than yours.
2. Let others completely dictate your schedule, from the time you wake up until the time you pass out somewhere between your last task and your bed.
3. Never prepare for anything, including meetings, parent-teacher conferences, social events, meals, your future, etc. Leaving it up to everyone and everything else is so much more…”fun.”
4. Don’t take any time off…ever. Taking time off is a sign of weakness. That means no breaks and no vacations. And certainly no time off when you’re sick or your kids are sick.
5. Eat only while doing other things too in order to maximize your productivity. So what if you get pasta sauce on your computer keyboard or if your phone accidentally takes a dive into the toilet.
6. Don’t worry about putting things away. Just leave them where they fall. Papers, magazines, bills, clothes, trash. Just think of all the time you’ll save by not organizing or getting rid of things you don’t need.
7. Resist any urge to organize your time. Throw away any calendars, alarm clocks, timers, and watches. You’ll show up when you show up.
8. Constantly bombard yourself with noise – from the TV blaring, to loud music on your radio or mp3 player. Silence is highly overrated.
9. Give up on your dreams. You don’t have the time or energy to tend to them anyway.
10. Always believe everything you see and hear in the media. Those guys get paid a lot of money, so they must know what they’re talking about and would never steer you wrong.

Okay, now that that foolishness is done, I hope you can see how we sometimes actually say and think these things without even realizing it. But having them written out like this, I also hope you can see how silly they are. When we get into that DRAMA ZONE, it can be a challenge to see just how twisted our thoughts become, and how easy it is to fall into some of these traps…thinking if we just worked harder, worked more, then we would get caught up and feel less stressed. But we need to consistently tend to our own needs in order to feel the inner peace we long for.

For some REAL ideas on how to consistently take good care of you, minimize your stress, and stay as far away from the drama zone as possible, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Consistency is Key: How Routines Can Boost Your Confidence.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/consistency-is-key, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Boy with Yellow Magnifying Glass © by barbourians

Self Care Tip: Busting the Myth that Consistency is Boring

Some say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting a different result. Which means that the definition of sanity would read something like doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same result. If that’s true, it sure is good news!

Being consistent is one of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself. But, consistency gets a bad reputation sometimes. There’s a lot of myths out there about what it means to be consistent. Here’s just one:

Being consistent means being BORING

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that one. Routines? Boring! Doing the same thing over and over? BORING!

Let me ask you this…what’s boring about:

• Setting yourself up to be successful?
• Providing the optimal environment (both internal and external) to get what you want out of life?
• Giving yourself a safety net of knowing what to expect (which means LESS drama, LESS chaos, and MORE peace)?

I believe (from both my own personal experience and my experiences with my clients), that many of us grow up with drama all around us. We come to know it, become intimate with it, expect it, and then count on it like an old friend. Its allure is intoxicating. Because if we’re caught up in drama, we don’t have to focus on the other stuff going on in our lives, and then (gulp!) we don’t have to take responsibility when our lives aren’t going the way we want. But drama comes with a huge price – not knowing HOW to take good care of ourselves on all levels, or worse yet, not fully knowing that we DESERVE to take good care of ourselves.

When we grow up with drama, we learn to trust it. And that means anything that isn’t filled with drama seems BORING and awkward. It’s hard to be caught up in drama AND consistently making good choices about your self care at the same time. (I dare you to try!).

Here’s some GOOD choices for your own self care that you can do on a consistent basis that will help you reach your goals (no matter what they are):

• Go to bed at the same time each night
• Create a bedtime ritual for yourself (which can include things like a skin care regimen, dental hygiene, putting on scented body lotion, journaling your gratitudes for the day, etc.)
• Say something positive to yourself each morning when you wake up
• Eat breakfast every morning
• Say “no” when you really want to
• Ask for help when you really need it

Remember, sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone to get different results. So instead of expecting DIFFERENT results with the same action, try expecting the SAME results with the same action. But only if you’re ready to give up drama.

And for even more ideas on how to be a better you, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Consistency is Key: How Routines Can Boost Your Confidence.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/consistency-is-key, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

How to Reach Your Goals by Being Consistent

March is the beginning of Spring and RENEWAL. And the perfect time to renew your commitment to yourself and to any new goals you’ve set for the New Year. Sure it’s easy to get off track, and that’s exactly why it’s important to take a look at it now. Before it gets even more off track and you move to an attitude of “why bother now.”

One of the biggest reasons we get off track with our goals is because they seem so overwhelming. And when life gets messy (with all the responsibilities, obligations, and endless things to do), it’s challenging not only to take on something new, but to keep it going. But when you give up on a goal, it can feel like giving up on yourself, yet again. Which can lead to further feelings of frustration.

So how do you get off the spinning wheel of overwhelm, frustration, and giving up on your goals? The answer is CONSISTENCY.

When we aren’t consistent in our efforts, we don’t get consistent results. It’s that simple. So getting to your goals requires consistent effort. It’s often the small steps we take that make the biggest difference. But when we get overwhelmed and side-tracked with all the details of our lives, it’s easy to succumb to the pressure and go back to what we know, even if what we know isn’t good for us.

Think back to when you made your New Year’s goals (or any recent goals for that matter). You probably had some excitement around the goal as you looked into the future at the result of reaching that goal. You also probably had an intention of reaching that goal that fueled your motivation and your energy to be able to work toward the goal. But what happened a few days or weeks later? Did your enthusiasm waver or did your intention get replaced with negative thoughts and inaction?

Here’s some tips for bringing a little more consistency to your goals (and life):

1. Get clear on your intention. Make sure your actions consistently are aligned with your goal. For example, if your goal is to lose weight, you want to eat healthy and exercise more often than not. I’m not talking being 100% perfect all the time…that’s impossible. I’m talking about making good choices more often than poor choices. Keep your intention close to you, in the form of a picture or a statement, and post it where you can see it several times each day.
2. Do what works. First, you have to know what works. Find someone else who has already reached the goal you’re aiming for and ask for some pointers. You can also find information on the internet, at the library, etc. But resist the urge to quit something just because you don’t know HOW to do it. There’s always ways to find out HOW to do something in this information age.
3. Be gentle with yourself. I cannot emphasize this point enough. We all need some incentive when we’re making changes. Reward your successes and acknowledge your accomplishments. Keep positive thoughts and energy surrounding you as you make changes. If you slip up, forgive yourself and move on.

And to learn even more of the benefits of being consistent, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Consistency is Key: How Routines Can Boost Your Confidence.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/consistency-is-key, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

What Are Those Distractions Telling You?

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself more distracted than usual. I can tell because it seems every time I sit down to write, prepare for an upcoming meeting, or knock something else off my ever-growing to-do list, I end up doing something completely different. I check my email, look through social media updates, clean something, play a game on my ipod, snuggle with my kitties, etc. Not that any of those pursuits are necessarily bad, but when done in lieu of what needs to get done it really adds up to a lot of time avoiding rather than really doing what needs to get done. Does that ever happen to you?

Instead of writing the articles that are on my list to write today, I decided to write about what is getting in the way of me getting things done.

Distractions.

Distractions do serve a purpose. They can help us clear our minds and ease away from an over-stimulated brain. But when we continuously use distractions to avoid our lives, we’re sure to miss out on a lot. Life can just pass us by while we’re distracted by other things. The key is finding out not only what you’re avoiding but why.

It’s generally easy to figure out what you’re avoiding because things just don’t get done or dealt with. You might avoid work, a difficult conversation, paying certain bills, exercise, or any other number of people, places, or things. The real trick is figuring out why you are avoiding.

Sometimes we just don’t want to deal with something (or someone) out of fear. Fear of what might happen. Fear of the unknown. Fear that things will change (or won’t change). We avoid having to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations by avoiding. We might put off making decisions, thinking that an answer will suddenly appear that eases the burden of us having to toil over the possibility of making a “wrong” choice. Avoidance can also be a sign that you are just too overwhelmed, need a break, and need to reprioritize some things.

To find out WHAT you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• What THINGS on my to-do list aren’t getting done?
• Are there certain people I’m not getting back to? Emails, phone messages, or texts going unanswered?

To find out WHY you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• How do I FEEL when I think about what I need to do (that thing I keep avoiding)?
• What am I afraid might happen when I do that thing I keep avoiding?

And finally, here are some ideas to help you keep distractions to a minimum:

• Make a decision. We sometimes think that avoiding making a decision means you can put it off till later. But really, avoiding a decision is making a decision NOT to decide. If you’ve been putting off making a decision, simply accept that you have made a decision, take ownership of it, and move on.
• Separate and conquer. Figure out what your biggest distractions are and try to separate those from what you are avoiding. For example, if you are working on the computer and you get distracted by email, close out your email program.
• Give yourself a break. Sometimes we are hard on ourselves for being distracted and avoiding when we simply might need a well deserved break. Remember to take frequent breaks during your day. Physically step away from what you are doing and do something different. If you work with people, spend some time alone. If you work with technology, unplug for a few minutes. If you work inside, go outside and get some fresh air.

Remember distractions aren’t always a bad thing. When used in moderation, distractions can help you unwind and shift gears. But when you use distractions to avoid doing things you really need to get done, it’s time to take a closer look.

Photo: iPod touch – My PDA. © by MJ/TR (´･ω･)

When You Don’t Have Enough Time…

Time is a funny thing. It comes. It goes. And you seem to never have enough of it. (The same could be said for a lot of things). But lately, time seems to really be, as the Steve Miller Band sings…”slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future.”

Distractions are everywhere, from work projects, to family obligations, to the little things we get sucked into to avoid what really needs to get done. You know what I’m talking about – those activities that consume us and serve only to pass the time. For me, those activities include things like TV, surfing the internet, and social media.

One thing I learned long ago when time was more precious to me than even money was that in order to get the things done on my to-do list that really mattered, I needed to guard my time wisely. But when we are in the midst of avoiding and allowing ourselves to be distracted, it’s hard to manage our time. We get swept into believing that there isn’t enough time when in reality we are not using the time we have (which is the same amount as everyone else) productively. It’s important to first take a step back, a time-out if you will, to really take a look at what’s going on.

Here’s some ideas to help you do just that – things that have worked for me in my pursuit of more time (aka less overwhelm and more stuff crossed off my to-do list):

1. Take a good look at where you are really spending your time. You can do this by creating a visual representation of your time. Take out a piece of paper (or open up a new document on your computer – in a word processing or spreadsheet program). Down the left side of the paper, divvy out time into 15 minute increments, from the time you wake until the time you go to bed. Next to each time on the right side, write down what you actually are doing. Keep this paper with you throughout the day and periodically write down all your activities. Do this for a week. You might be surprised (or not) at where your time goes. But with it all written out before you, you certainly cannot deny where it’s all going.
2. Write down your top three priorities. These can be anything (or anyone) important to you. Keep this list where you can see it and especially near areas where you seem to spend unproductive time (like the TV or computer). Put the list as a screensaver on your computer or the wallpaper for your phone. Look at it often to help keep you on track.
3. Give yourself a break. Another thing I learned a long time ago (the hard way) is that expecting myself to be “productive” all the time is the fastest way to burnout. Now I take regular breaks and physically walk away and change my scenery at least 2 to 3 times during my work day. It is on my calendar just as any other important appointment would be.

Remember, while time may seem to be slippin,’ you do have control over what you do with your time. Sure there are going to be times when your time is consumed by certain tasks. That’s a normal part of life. But if you notice you have the same things on your to-do list that aren’t getting crossed off, chances are it’s less about how much time you have and more about how you are spending it.

Got some other ideas on how to make the most of your time? I’d love to hear them. Please leave a comment below.

Just for fun: listen to “Fly Like an Eagle” by the Steve Miller Band…

Photo: Clock © by Svadilfari