#100: Beat Your Inner Bully

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Did you ever have to end a relationship with someone who was just no good for you? Maybe someone kind of abusive. Who kept you stuck. Lied. Cheated. Made you feel like total crap. A real bully.

Unfortunately most of us have had to deal with at least one person like this along the way. It’s not always easy to cut ties. Especially when it’s someone you genuinely care for. But once you do, life inevitably becomes easier, happier, healthier.

So what if I told you that you’re still dealing with a bully? That’s right, there’s someone out to get you right now. Someone is trying to trip you up, keep you down, and steal your lunch money. I’d tell you to kick the crap out of her except for one thing: that someone is you.

Of course you don’t mean to do this to yourself. But let’s face it, we are all our own worst critics. It’s something we develop early in life and it becomes second nature. You may be so used to it that you’ve forgotten where you end and this critic begins. But make no mistake: that voice you hear, the one that cuts you down at every opportunity, it’s not really you. It’s just a garden variety bully and it’s high time you learned to beat your inner bully!

In episode 100 I tell you how to beat your inner bully without messing up a single hair on either of your heads. In fact, let’s settle this thing right now, once and for all! I’ll help you identify where that bully comes from and then I’ll walk you through 3 painless steps to send her packing for good. And as a special thank you for sharing my 100th podcast with me, I have a special gift to all my listeners.

#99: That’s a Bunch of Bull-Should

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Can I ask you a question? I want you to be brutally honest. Tell me the truth. Even if it’s painful…

What should you be doing right now?

I’d tell you to really think about it but my educated guess is that you don’t have to. I suspect you have a laundry list ready to go. In fact, there’s a good chance laundry is on that list!

You should be doing a million things. Am I right? What’s more, there’re probably a million other things you should have done instead of many of the things you actually did. You should figure out why that is. You should have figured it out years ago. You’re probably a world-class expert in shoulding all over yourself. Wanna know what I think about this?

It’s a bunch of Bullshould!

That’s right; l said Bullshould. If this incredibly powerful word isn’t yet a part of your everyday vocabulary, maybe it should be. Or more importantly, maybe it could be.

Should is a dirty word. It traps you in a cycle of guilt and regret. It stinks. Stinks, I tells ya! And that’s why I want you to start recognizing it for the Bullshould it truly is.

So what if I told you that by making a tiny shift, by reframing your language and your perception surrounding the concept of should, you could instantly and dramatically change your relationship with the things you do…and the things you don’t do? What if all it takes is three simple steps to free you from self criticism, doubt, and shame? And what if those same easy changes could open you up to endless possibilities and choices?

Well, if I told you that – and I just did! – you might think that you should listen to this week’s podcast.

Bullshould!

Oh, I want you to listen. But don’t do it because you should. Do it because…you could!

#98 To Thine Own Self Be Trusting

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Who do you trust? I don’t mean superficially, casually, socially. I mean who would you want on that desert island with you if you were stranded? And a soccer ball doesn’t count. Who would you trust in a crisis? With your twitter password? Who would you sign over control of your affairs to if it ever came to that?

Most people have one or two people that come to mind immediately. And that’s a really good feeling. But let me ask you this: Is that trust completely unconditional? And here’s a tougher question: If you could clone yourself perfectly, right down to the last molecule, would you trust yourself in these situations?

Trust is tricky. It’s something you’re told needs to be earned. Something that you know can be lost. It’s something that takes conscious care and time to build…but too often one wrong move to send crumbling down. And like so many crucially important life skills, no one teaches you the fundamentals and language of trust. You’re left to our own devices to try to figure it out on your own.

The first person – and the most important one at that – who you need to trust is yourself. That’s where it begins. And that sets the tone for all others. The level of trust you have in your relationship with yourself will determine and inform the quality of every relationship in your life.

In this episode I delve deeper into the topic of self trust. I’ve talked about it a lot. But this time I break it down for you in a way I wish it’d been taught in school. First I’ll reveal the 3 questions you must answer to assess where you are with trusting yourself. Be honest and I promise you it can change your life. Next I’ll teach you what I call The 4 Pillars of Trust. And finally, I’ll give you the shockingly simple key to unlocking a truly healthy sense of trust.

#97: Guess Again…Or Better Yet, Don’t!

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Remember the last time you were driving somewhere new? You may have been nervous because you weren’t sure where you were going. Probably you had your navigation system helping out. But still, it can be a bit nerve wracking when you’re on unsure footing.

Maybe you missed a turn and had to re-route. Or possibly you swerved across a few lanes of traffic to get in the correct lane at the last second. But the fact that you’re here now, reading this, tells me that it was not the end of anyone’s world.

So let’s break it down: You had some decisions to make that day, right? First you decided to go somewhere you’d never been before. You had to decide how to get there. You had to choose the fastest route or the one that kept you off of major highways. You had to determine how early to leave, just in case you ran into any problems. And if one of my scenarios above occurred, you had to quickly shift gears and make split second course corrections.

Can I ask you a question; did you second guess any of those decisions?

Chances are you did. Chances are you second guess decisions way more often than you should. And it’s time for you to knock that off!

Last week I helped you identify healthy and effective ways to make proactive decisions. I know that if you’re following my 5-step decision making process, you’re already deciding like a champ.

But what happens after those decisions are made is just as crucial as the actual making part. If you’re second guessing yourself, back-tracking, reversing or even changing your decisions for the wrong reasons, I am here to help.

In episode 97, I’ll reveal the number 1 reason why you’re second guessing your decisions. And then I’ll guide you through the 4 essential truths about decision making that you must embrace in order to own your decisions and stop those self-doubt bombs from messing with your mojo!

#96: You Decide…Even When You Don’t

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Have you ever found yourself standing in the cereal aisle at the grocery store, staring at the dozens of boxes, pacing, agonizing, comparing nutritional information, calories, prices, absolutely paralyzed from making a simple, ultimately inconsequential decision?

At the time, it can feel huge, even life altering. I mean you are committing to at least a few days worth of breakfast here. It could set the tone for your whole week. What if you pick the Raisin Bran and you wake up tomorrow totally not in the mood for dried grapes? Or maybe you go with GrapeNuts and you chip a tooth? Or you buy that fancy healthy stuff only to realize as you’re eating it that you had forgotten that everyone else in the house but you hates that fancy healthy stuff?

What if?

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. We easily make hundreds of these suckers every day. So why are some of them harder than others? You might be saying to yourself, “That’s easy, Krylyn. Some of them are bigger and more important and warrant more consideration and will have more impact!”

To which I can only reply, “Ehem…really? So your breakfast dilemma was truly that earth shattering?”

So what did you do when faced with your epic cereal conundrum? Maybe you bought all three boxes, giving you even more decisions to make. Perhaps you closed your eyes and pointed or some other form of random selection. Maybe you gave up and didn’t buy any cereal, putting that decision off for another day.

All of the above are valid decisions. But make no mistake, even when you don’t actively decide, you are still making a decision.

In this episode I’m going to walk you through my proven 5 step decision process. It may not make all of your decisions easy, but it will make them conscious and doable. Let’s face it, some decisions are going to be tough. You won’t always be in your comfort zone. But I promise you that you’ll feel so much more empowered when you make your decisions your way and on your terms.

So are you ready to listen to this week’s podcast?

You decide…

#95: Procrastination Doesn’t Have to Be a Dirty Word

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I have so much to do right now. Maybe I should start by making a list. But first I’ll make a pot of tea. And I should check my email, FB, IG, Twitter…

I just wasted several hours. I’m way too unfocused. I think I’ll watch Netflix for 30 minutes and try to clear my head.

Still not feeling it. A little yoga? A walk? Oh wait, didn’t I need to buy something on Amazon? And call the phone company? Okay, I’d better do that before they close. I’ll get to that other stuff later. I mean, I can do it anytime. Right?

Oh crap! I have at least two hours worth of stuff to do in 45 minutes! I’m going to miss my deadline. But wait, was that a hard deadline? I think that’s just the timeline I set for myself so that I wouldn’t stress it. Phew! I’ve still got like two days. I can just chill out with Mr. Haagen-Dazs and cruise YouTube. I’ll do that other stuff. Tomorrow.

Does any of this sound familiar? Be honest. Let’s face it: we all have our glorious moments of world class procrastination. And way too often these marathon sessions of avoidance can leave you feeling guilty, stressed, inadequate, even a little dirty. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why you’re procrastinating? The truth is that procrastination can be a profound, teachable event.

In this episode I will reveal the two reasons why you procrastinate. I’ll tell you your three choices every time you are faced with doing something that elicits a procrastination response. And I’ll guide you through exactly how to get the most out of this often misunderstood life lesson.

So let’s jump right in – after a piece of chocolate – and discover just what procrastination has to offer!