5 Things You Must Do to Re-Brand Your Heart-Centered Business (And Your Life) Without Losing Your Friggin’ Mind

In my recent article, It’s a Re-Brand: How My Business Baby Done Got Borned, I spilled the beans on the birthing process for my new business brand, Get Out of Your Own Damn Way. The journey has been filled with ups and downs, breakdowns and breakthroughs, pain, joy, and FEAR.

In other words, it’s been just like life.

Yeah, there’s no escaping the fact that my business is an extension of who I am. That’s what heart-centered business owners are like. We live and breathe our business, because our business reflects who we are and what we stand for. We have HUGE, ginormous visions and missions to fill. That means my tribe gets to be on my journey with me, and I wouldn’t have it any other way (as scary as it is to be open and exposed in some of my most vulnerable moments).

Of course, there are lessons along the way. Detours. Wrong turns. Missed exits. Unexpected gems. And plenty of opportunities to walk my talk. I love the idea of helping others along their journey, even if I’m only a couple steps ahead at times. I believe we all have something to learn from each other.

So what have I learned along my re-brand journey? Honey, there ain’t enough space here for it all. But there’s some pretty major lessons that have popped out that I want to share…because they are truly LIFE lessons.

1. Get crystal clear on who you are and what you stand for. Any marketing expert will tell you that you need to be clear before you embark on branding. It’s basic stuff. But reading it or being told it is completely COMPLETELY different than living it. I thought I was clear before…twice. But when I’m being really honest, I wasn’t. I was dabbling in some different markets trying to fit them together like puzzle pieces from different puzzles. That came across in everything – my writing, my marketing, and my offers. And it certainly affected my bottom line. One of the best things I did for my business is DO THE WORK of getting clear about who I am and what I stand for.

2. Ask for help. Simply stated, but for the workaholic super woman who is used to doing everything on her own, not so simply done. Just because I CAN do most everything in my business doesn’t mean I should. There’s a certain finesse to learning to delegate. It requires letting go and trusting. Then course correcting as needed.

3. Let things percolate…but not forever. One of the wonderful things about being a creative entrepreneur is that I never have a lack of ideas. I’ve got ideas for books, programs, workshops, products, services, music, marketing, podcasts, etc. But I also suffer from what many business owners do, and that’s perfectionism. I hate putting my work out into the world without it being beautiful. The downfall is I’ve kept a lot of my ideas under wraps for years. NO MORE. I’ve finished more unfinished projects in the last several months than ever before. My mantra is “done is better than perfect.”

4. Act before you think yourself out of it. Entrepreneurs are natural risk-takers. However, we too (just like everyone else) can fall into the “analysis-paralysis” trap of over-thinking and under-acting. It’s easy to come up with reasons why something won’t work because of X, Y, and Z. But here’s a little secret – NOTHING ever turns out exactly the way we expect. So why not just get started, now, right where you’re at. There’s always room for reflection and changing course. What there’s NOT room for (if you want to fulfill your big n’ delicious dreams) is procrastination. Just get out there and DO SOMETHING.

5. Tantrums are expected, normal, and productive (if done right). It’s okay to be disappointed, frustrated, and downright ANGRY when things happen that are beyond your control. Curveballs are everywhere. But they’re not a sign to give up, they’re a sign to modify. Not one thing I planned for happened the way I anticipated during my re-brand. Technical issues, miscommunication with team members, unexpected expenses, you name it. I had moments, hours, and sometimes days when I was IN IT, grumpy, and OVER IT. But I allowed myself to yell, cry, vent, and walk away when needed to maintain my sanity. And then I got back to work having cleared my inner child’s need to throw a tantrum.

Because I’m not able to completely separate my business from my life, these are lessons that spill over into other areas as well – relationships, dating, parenting, etc. You can be sure that my life didn’t stop during my re-brand process (and actually blew up a little in some areas) and I had plenty of opportunities to put my ninja healing skills to the test in my personal life as well.

What are YOU doing to keep from losing your mind in the midst of personal and professional change? Leave a comment below.

It’s a Re-Brand: How My Business Baby Done Got Borned

Picture this: January. Ready for new beginnings. Stuck in old patterns. Desperately wanting things to change but not sure what the first step is to take. Knowing you have something completely earth-shatteringly life-alteringly amazing to share with others.

Come on now. I know I’m not the only one who’s been there.

Enter some soul-searching, tough and real (and kinda painful) conversations with friends, colleagues, and mentors. And the thought that “I’ll give it one more try, but if this doesn’t work, I’m getting a damn (gulp) job again.”

Business owners do this dance…often. We are intimately familiar with the dance of “things aren’t working” and “it’s time to change direction…again.” Yet it’s still scary. I mean, white-knuckle, hold-your-breath, eyes-wide-shut kind of scary.

And yet we soldier on. Why?

Because we have vision. We have a big mission to fill. We are driven by unseen forces and a knowing that our path, even though not easy, is the only one for us. We are trail-blazers. We are risk-takers. We are believers in magic, love, change, choice, abundance, and healing.

So what gets in the way?

I will speak for myself (but I know that my words bring voice to many of you out there).

I get in my own damn way!

In January 2015, my business was tanking. Things got hard. People weren’t registering for my workshops like they used to. People weren’t responding to my offers like they used to. It was like…crickets.

I had some tough decisions to make. And I had to take a long and honest look at what wasn’t working. After the initial shock and berating myself and stomping around like a petulant child, I got over myself and realized what I had done to contribute to the demise. And you know what? Something amazing came out of all of it.

During one especially difficult conversation with my business coach (when she jokingly says she made me cry), she backed me into a corner with this simple question: “What do you want your customers and clients to do?”

For those of you who have customers and clients, you know this isn’t always such an easy question to answer. Typically, I would hide behind words like “feel better,” “lower their stress,” or “improve their relationships.” Of course, I do want this for my customers and clients. But honestly, these are a bunch of fluffy words that don’t really mean anything because they’ve been used to death. I’ve also hidden behind the veil of losing clarity, getting unclear and foggy about what the hell it is that I do. And let’s just say, my coach does NOT let me get away with that one AT ALL.

So she pushes me. And during this conversation, she pushed me further and harder than ever before and wouldn’t let me off the hook. Tears streaming down my face, in a booming voice, and without any hesitation, I yelled at her: “I want them to get out of their own damn way.”

There was a moment of reverence after I belted it out. And she said, quietly, in stark contrast to my loud declaration, “that’s your brand.”

And my new brand was born: GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN WAY!

Here we are, months later, and my new brand is finally out there. I’ve connected with colleagues, clients, and customers all over the world who resonate fiercely with it. And it is taking my business in new directions that are exciting and unexpected.

Don’t get me wrong, the road hasn’t been easy. In fact, I’ve had to re-declare every step of the way as I’ve crafted my new marketing messages, redesigned my website, created a new quiz (“How Are YOU At Getting Out of Your Own Damn Way”), and all the other things involved with a major business makeover.

But every step has been worth it. I am an entrepreneur. I did not choose the easy path. I chose the one that lets me express my soul’s work by being a beacon and a model for those I serve. My brand is Get Out of Your Own Damn Way, and that’s exactly what I must do in order to help my customers and clients do the same.

I’ll be sharing more about my re-brand journey in upcoming articles…all the lessons I’ve learned and the epiphanies that come with stepping out more fully into my greatness.

Got a comment? I’d love to hear it…leave it below.

Unraveling the Good Girl Part 2: Five Tips to Escort Her Out of the Building

In Part 1, Unraveling the Good Girl Part 1: Four Things This Little Beeatch Has to Say, I dove into some of the things my inner good girl has taught me, despite my attempts to cut her off at the knees.

I find it a blessing (and sometimes a bit of a nightmare) that there’s a lesson in EVERYTHING. Sometimes I just want to pout and have my tantrum. But alas, my years and experience in getting out of my own damn way faster and more efficiently help me see the silver lining even in the most bleak of situations.

Okay, good girl, you’re forgiven.

Now that we’ve covered what she’s done for us, we can move on to bigger and better things – namely how to not let her run our lives anymore.

As I mentioned in Part 1, my coach gave me a kick in the pants when she saw my good girl popping up recently. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to call us on it. But other times, we just need to heed the signs and press forward. Here come the tips:

1. Acknowledge the good girl. Remember, she’s just trying to protect you like she’s done before. She means no harm. But she also needs to be acknowledged. When you notice your good girl coming out to protect you, let her know you see her.
2. Thank the good girl. After acknowledgement comes gratitude. Yes, she can be a pain in the ass, but thank her anyway. Thank her for trying to protect her.
3. Forgive the good girl. After you thank her, let her know you forgive her for all the shenanigans, making you look like a fool, making you act like a doormat. Since she is a part of you, that means you must also forgive yourself.
4. Let the good girl know you got it from here. You’re a grown-ass woman now with grown-up responsibilities and the power to make things happen. It’s okay to dismiss the good girl and let her know she’s no longer needed.
5. Put on your big girl pants. It’s time to put on those big girl pants and take responsibility for yourself. That includes your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. No more blaming the good girl who doesn’t want to make waves. Make those waves, honey! Splash around and have fun with them while you’re at it.

The good girl may come back from time to time, but you have control over how long you let her hang around.

What are your thoughts on unraveling the good girl? Leave a comment below.

Unraveling the Good Girl Part 1: Four Things This Little Beeatch Has to Say (and Why You Need to Listen)

Were you conditioned to be “the good girl?” You know, the one who says yes to everyone else, puts others’ needs before her own, and apologizes for taking up space?

Yeah, me too.

And just when I think I unraveled that “good girl” conditioning and said goodbye to her forever, you guessed it, something else happens to bring her back. It’s not that I don’t like her or appreciate what she’s done for me. But frankly, she gets a bit annoying, especially when I’m over here trying to live my life and realize some pretty crazy big-ass dreams. I mean, I’ve got a passionate mission to fulfill.

Oh, good girl…BITE ME!

This latest rearing of the ugly good girl came during an up-leveling in my business where I’m (gulp) inviting people to work with me in a bigger way. No biggie, right? That’s what entrepreneurs do.

But apparently, Miss Thang decided she needed to apologize for asking. WTF? Thank goodness for my own kick-ass coach who nipped that shizz in the bud and got me back on track.

But it got me to thinking…

What is that inner good girl here to teach me, and why in the HELL does she always show up when I’m stepping more fully into my purpose?

When I got silent and let those questions sink in a bit, the answers flooded me like a ton of bricks.

1. If I’m not a “good girl,” does that mean I’m a “bad girl?” It’s not a trick question, but one posed by a certain way of thinking. When we shed labels or masks or beliefs, there’s a certain stripping away of the fabric of our identity. We know ourselves in a certain way. Others rely on us being a certain way. So when that is questioned, it’s only natural to question who we are. The answer undoubtedly lies somewhere between “good” and “bad.”
2. What will people think of me if I break the “rules?” There are soooo many friggin’ rules, many of which are unspoken, unwritten, and (frankly) stupid. There I said it. Some rules are really stupid! Like ones that have us “not rocking the boat” or “making waves.” If I dare ask for what I want or take a stand for what’s right, what will people think?
3. The “good girl” once saved me a lot of angst. Despite my sometimes irrational hatred of my inner good girl, I have to give her props. Growing up in the chaotic abusive and neglectful household that I did, the good girl allowed me to survive. She gave me guidelines of how to act in a family that had rules that changed on a daily basis. I had my role and I played it well.
4. Old patterns get triggered by stress. Duh! That’s like healing 101. And something I have taught my clients and reminded them of time and time again over the years. But experiencing it firsthand can lead to amnesia. When going through big changes (no matter how welcomed they are), we can experience stress and our brains can go on auto-pilot, pulling up those old patterns.

As with any part of ourselves, there area always lessons to be learned. I challenge you to get silent and find out what YOUR inner good girl is trying to tell you.

In Part 2, I’ll explore some ways to gently let the good girl go.

Got any insights? Leave a comment below.

What it Looks Like to Be Free

Here in the USA we just finished celebrating Independence Day. Each year, it’s a reminder of what it means to be free and what sacrifices were made for our freedom.

Each year, I’m also reminded of what freedom means to me and how it looks on a more personal and individual basis.

To me, freedom is about living well and being my best self. It’s about creating (and maintaining) the type of lifestyle I want, which includes everything from relationships, to finances, to health, to play.

What does it really look like to be free? Here are some thoughts:

• Know what you want. If you don’t have a clear picture of what you want, how do you know when you have it…or worse, when you don’t? Freedom isn’t just about some vague notion of being able to have, be, or do anything you want. True freedom comes when your definition of being free is realized. For some people, freedom is about not working, but for others it’s about doing work they are passionate about.
• Entitlement has no place here. Some people confuse freedom with entitlement, or getting stuff you don’t work for. But freedom is about taking a stand for what you believe in and sometimes fighting the good fight to get it. Think about it, when you get handed something you haven’t worked for, does it really hold as much satisfaction as something you busted your ass for?
• Consistency is key. It’s near impossible to maintain anything, whether it’s sanity, weight, routines, relationships, etc. if we don’t keep doing things that work. Sure, we may know what DOESN’T work, but unless we make consistent effort to take the steps (large and small) that contribute to continued success, we’re sure to lose some sense of freedom.
• Sacrifices and compromises are part of the deal. Freedom isn’t something to be taken lightly. It sometimes requires us to make some tough decisions for the greater good. We sometimes must make sacrifices or compromises right now in order to have the future we long for.

Remember, freedom is something we are all striving for in one way or another.

What are your thoughts on what freedom looks like? Share a comment below.

What At-Risk Youth Have to Teach Us About Life

The most profound changes often come from the smallest of shifts in our perspective. This is a belief I find myself coming back to again and again, especially when evidence mounts to support it.

Recently, I spent two weeks volunteering with at-risk youth at Theater Camp through Free Arts of Arizona. The camp helps abused and neglected youth living in groups homes, shelters, and treatment facilities tell their stories through the creative arts (acting, spoken word poetry, dance/movement, visual arts, and music).

Having just gone through a major re-brand in my business, I was ready for a break. Things didn’t go as planned and instead of spending more time troubleshooting technical issues and living in the space of uncertainty, I was so grateful to get away. I knew the time focusing on other things would help shift my perspective, and I was right.

I also believe that there are lessons everywhere. Lessons to help us remember. Lessons to help us regain our perspective on what truly matters. Here are just some of the lessons I learned (and re-learned) by stepping away from my daily routine and being of service to some amazing young folks:

1. We all want to be seen for who we truly are. These kids had some poignant stories to share about what they’ve been through – sexual abuse, gang violence, parents dying naturally or being murdered, physical abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, etc. Even some of us who didn’t grow up in “the system” have similar stories to share. But we are NOT our stories. We are survivors. We all want to love and be loved. We all want to be accepted.

2. We all have a voice – and that voice matters. In a discussion early on in Theater Camp, the kids talked about wanting to have a voice in what happens to them. They are sometimes left out of important talks that affect where they live and with whom. While there are decisions to be made from a bigger picture perspective, no one’s voice should ever be excluded from the conversation. That goes in your life too. Just because your voice may not be the final say, it still deserves to be heard. Your voice matters, especially when it comes to your life. Speak up. Be heard.

3. We all want to be part of something. Many of these kids said they wanted to be part of a family. Some turned to gangs or drugs or self- harm behaviors (like cutting themselves) to escape the pain of NOT feeling like they belonged. There is a basic human need to feel like part of a bigger whole – a community or family. These kids found that type of support at Theater Camp and were able to thrive because of it. Sometimes the people you are born to are NOT the healthiest. But that doesn’t mean you cannot create your own community or family. We all need that kind of support to help us grow and thrive.

4. We all need encouragement and support. So many of these kids wanted to quit and give up. Some walked out of rehearsals or froze or said they weren’t going to get on stage. They were afraid. Can you relate to wanting to give up due to fear? I sure can. But what amazed me is that just a few words of encouragement, a chat about how fear is a GOOD THING because it tells you that what you are doing is really important, and some rallying made all the difference. These kids (who often have been disappointed numerous times by several adults in their lives) KNEW that me and the other adults there had their backs. We were there to support them through the fear and celebrate with them when they moved through it. I cannot stress this point enough – you can do great things with the right support behind you.

5. We must be vulnerable in order to grow. Vulnerability is scary. There’s no way around it. In order to get past hurt, pain, fear, anxiety, etc., we must feel it and move through it. And the only way to do that is to be vulnerable. Showing our vulnerability to others is healing not only for us, but for those witnessing it. This was Theater Camp. The kids who were brave and shared their stories inspired the kids who didn’t. The audiences who came to the final performances were invited to share how they were affected. Many stood up in tears, stating how they could personally relate to the kids on stage or how those stories touched them deeply. Some would tell you that vulnerability is weakness, but I challenge that. If you have ever witnessed anyone sharing their pain, you know how much courage it takes to do that. We open ourselves up in such a beautiful way by doing that. And it’s my honor to witness people doing that – not only these kids but also my clients.

I’m sure there are other lessons in the Theater Camp experience, and perhaps I’ll write more about them when they surface. For now, I’m honored to have been a witness to these young folks on their journey to healing. Their bravery has impacted me and everyone else who worked with them and who came to their performances. And they have helped remind us all some very important life lessons.

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