Top 12 Ways to Keep Stress at Bay This Holiday Season

We are smack dab in the middle of the holidays. For some, it’s a time of joy, sharing, giving, and connection. For others, it’s a difficult time with painful or sad memories. No matter what your experience, there’s bound to be something that gets under your skin. ‘Tis the season for stress to surface, tempers to flare, feelings to get hurt, and overwhelm to abound.

To help you ease any unwanted tension associated with this time of year, I’ve compiled a list of 10 of my favorite ways you can take good care of yourself during the holiday season (and beyond). Enjoy!

1. Be Consistent: During this time many of us have time off from work and the regular routines we practice most days of the year. While getting a break from the mundane day-to-day of our lives can be a blessing, it can also upset some sort of balance we’ve already put in place. By all means, enjoy some less structured time, but be mindful of how straying too far from things like regular sleep times, meal times, and household routines can affect getting back to those routines when the time comes. Be as consistent as possible while also giving yourself a well-deserved break.
2. Think Before You Speak: When others say and do things that “push your buttons” you may find yourself going on auto-pilot and just blurting out what you really think. But when emotions are running high, what comes out of our mouths is rarely what we really mean to say. Do yourself a favor and take some time to think before you speak. If needed, leave the situation, go into another room, hang up the phone, or summon every bit of self control you have to keep yourself from saying something you may regret later.
3. Ask for Help: There’s no shame in asking for help when you really need it. Since there always seems to be more to do than time to do it in at this time of year, you’ll probably have ample opportunity to ask for some help in getting things done. Plus, most people like to help and feel needed, but aren’t sure what to do unless you ask them.
4. Learn to Say No: Saying “no” is an art form. We are so programmed to not hurt others’ feelings that we sometimes end up hurting ourselves the most in the end. By saying yes to everything and everyone else during this busy time, you could be setting yourself up for feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Instead of looking at it as saying “no” to others, think of it as saying “yes” to yourself. Yes to taking care of yourself. Yes to only doing things you really want to do. Yes to a holiday season that is more manageable. What’s not to like about yes?
5. Rest and Be Merry: What good are you going to be to anyone (including yourself) if you run yourself ragged? One thing we sometimes do when there is more to do is forego sleep to get it all done. But when you sacrifice rest, it can have some significant and undesirable consequences. You can become irritable, lose your focus easily, have difficulty completing tasks, be more vulnerable to illness, and the list goes on. Do yourself a favor and make it a point of getting your optimal amount of sleep each night (from 7 to 9 hours). If something has to go because you just have too much on your to-do list, find something else to sacrifice.
6. Unplug the Technology: Despite popular belief, the world will NOT end if you turn off your phone(s), computer, television, and other electronic devices to enjoy some real human interaction. Even if all you do is spend some quiet, uninterrupted time with yourself and your thoughts, it will be well worth it.
7. Work It Out: Many studies have proven that exercise makes a person feel better through the release of endorphins, and it works out the stressful tension in the muscles and recharges your energy levels. To combat the effects of stress this holiday season, try relaxing exercises such as stretching, yoga, or tai chi. Just a few extra minutes of exercise a day can benefit your overall health.
8. Take Stock in Your “Stuff”: Now is the perfect time of year to stop, take a moment, and take stock of all that you have. Sure, some of that might be material possessions (like a house, car, and other “stuff”), but also think of the non-tangible “stuff” you have, like relationships, your health, your attitude, your sense of humor, etc. It’s easy to focus on the negative or what we don’t have. But it’s so much more productive (and stress relieving) to think of all that we have to be grateful for. Make a list of your gratitudes…often. And review it whenever you start to feel overwhelmed by the stresses of the season.
9. Just Breathe: Did you know that when we get stressed, we tend to hold our breath? Have you ever noticed that? Make a point to tune into your breath regularly during this time of year…when you’re waiting in lines buying those holiday gifts, when you’re searching for parking spots at the mall, or when you’re stuck in traffic.
10. Tickle Your Funny Bone: One of the best kept secrets in stress relief is the power of laughter. Laughter helps us by providing a physical release of tension, distracting us from the seriousness we can get focused on when we’re feeling stressed, and connecting us with others. Have you ever felt relieved, lighter, less stressed after a good laugh? That’s because your body automatically tenses and releases several muscles, from your abdominals, shoulders, etc. This tension and release allows our bodies to let go of physical tension, which can lead to a release of emotional tension as well. Laughter can be contagious and create an instant bond between strangers, acquaintances, or friends. Studies show that the more connected we feel with others, the better able we are at dealing with stressful situations.
11. Pencil in Some “Me” Time: Give yourself some evenings off to relax, enjoy some down time, and take in the blessings of the season. It’s okay to take a break. And it might just be the best “present” you could receive this holiday season.
12. Practice Forgiveness: Some people believe that forgiveness is about what someone else did, but really, it’s about us. When we hang on to the wrongs of others, it affects us far greater than the other person. We can harbor painful feelings, negative thoughts, and spend a lot of energy thinking about something that’s in the past. The holidays are prime time to practice forgiveness, as we are often reminded of our past and the ways we think things should have been. As the ultimate gift to yourself, find something or someone you can forgive and then let it go.

Do you have any other favorite holiday stress busters? Feel free to leave a comment below.

Photo: Lonesome Hartwood Acres Holiday Tree © by iriskh

How to Accept a Compliment

When someone pays you a compliment do you typically respond by stating all the reasons it isn’t true or what obstacles you’ve had or in some other way negate what the other person has said? For some reason, it seems we are allergic to compliments or even acknowledgement of a job well-done. Our society focuses so much on improving and looking for what’s wrong (rather than what’s right), that it’s hard for us to know how to act when someone points out something positive. It just seems so unexpected.

Yet think about how easy it is to think of the negative things. Our society thrives on negativity, fear, and drama. It’s everywhere in the media. Just watch a news cast, tabloid magazine show, reality TV, etc. and you won’t have to wait long to hear what so-and-so said about that person (gossip) and how to improve any and every area of your life (read you’re not good enough the way you are). It’s like we’re actively looking for the bad stuff. So much so it can be hard to see the good. And that leads to missing all the positive things going on in our lives, even the little things we’ve accomplished, mastered, and overcome.

I believe it’s often the smallest things that make the biggest difference. But what happens when those small success go unnoticed? We can get grumpy, thinking nothing is ever going well. We can lose sight of what we want, what we’re striving for…lose focus and motivation…and develop a really bad attitude about ourselves, others, and everything around us.

So how do we get back to noticing the small, positive things? It really is just about noticing, being aware, and looking for it. Here’s some tips:

• Next time someone says something positive to you, notice if you have any thoughts spinning around coming up with reasons you don’t really deserve the compliment. Words or thoughts such as “yeah, but” or “you don’t have to say that” are clues you might have difficulty accepting any positive feedback. Instead of spouting negatvie stuff, simply smile and say “thank you.”
• Start conversations with people by pointing out something positive about them. It could be the way they look, their clothes, or the way they handled a recent situation or project.
• Notice at least one thing you enjoy about life each day and acknowledge it.
• Give yourself at least one compliment every day. You DO deserve it.

For more tips on how to celebrate your journey and look at the successes you’ve had along the way, , please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “To Your Success: Celebrating Every Step of the Journey.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/to-your-success, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Free Compliments © by ilovememphis

Get Your Success On

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. It is a delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street.” ~ William A. Ward

While most of us tend to wallow in what we perceive as our failures, the truth is we have many more successes in our lives. But what we focus on is what we see, and what we attract more of in our lives. Focus on the negative or the failure, and WHAM…there it is. Focus on the positive or success, and WHOMP…there it is. Here’s a little inspirational video to help us get back to focusing on what’s most important. Enjoy!

The Dance of Life: How Two Steps Back Isn’t A Bad Thing

One step forward, two steps back. The journey of life can sometimes feel like an intricate dance. Make a little progress, then things seem to slide back to where they were – to that uncomfortable place. While most people see any backward movement as a failure or at least something not good, let me just say that it’s totally normal.

Healing is a journey, not a destination. If we lived a life without having contact with others, hold up in our homes without any responsibilities to family, employers, and friends, then maybe we wouldn’t have to contend with as much juggling and backwards movement. But probably not. Typically what is responsible for backward movment has less to do with others and more to do with us – our thoughts and our habits.

When we first start making changes – any change – we might start strong, trying new things. But it takes a lot of consistency and repetition to create a new habit. We still are dealing with old ways of thinking and behaving that support our old habits. So we must be on the watch for the old stuff to creep in, catch it, then continue with our new ways of thinking and behaving to counteract it.

The first time we feel ourselves slipping back to old habits is generally where people stop trying, seeing it as proof that the new way won’t work. But this is precisely when we need to continue on with the new stuff, remembering that it is a journey, and that consistent effort is the key to long-lasting success.

So how can you continue stepping forward even slightly after a backslide? Using the dance analogy, I’d say that you just step forward again. If you watch people dance (literally), you’ll likely see that they move forward, backwards, and sideways. If they aren’t moving forward now, they likely will be in just a few beats. And if they move backward, they don’t stop dancing, declaring defeat. Backward movement is part of the dance. Just as it is in life.

Moving backward provides an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. You might find that something (a thought, belief, or action) didn’t work as you expected, so now you know to tweak it a little and see if that changes the direction of your movement.

Here’s some other suggestions on how to navigate the dance of life:

• Remember that it is the culmination of steps that matters. Today it might be two steps back and one forward, and tomorrow might be ten steps forward and one step back. If you are moving forward more than backward, you are headed in the right direction.
• You are moving forward more than you think. We tend to focus on what we don’t like, such as backward slips. We forget to celebrate and honor the forward movement.
• Expect movement in all directions. It is often when we assume that life should always be forward movement when we are most disappointed. But if you go into any new challenge expecting there to be movement in different directions, you will set yourself up for a more realistic picture of what will happen.
• Think of movement in any direction as an opportunity. We learn from everything and movement provides us an opportunity to see what works and what doesn’t.

Looking for more inspiration about navigating the dance of life? Join me for the Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Jam Sessions, where I interview powerful people who have been there, done that, gotten out of their own damn way, and boldly embraced their dream and greatness. Get prepared to be inspired. Join us for FREE at www.krylyn.com/GetOutOfYourWayInterviews.

Photo: IMG_3850 © by Huron Tours & Travel

Gratitude Journal: Day 30

Today I am grateful for lazy afternoons. I love giving myself the gift of time to recharge my energy by stepping away from work and projects on my to-do list. We can easily forget that in order to be productive we must take regular time away.

Got your own gratitude to share? Feel free to post a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: Lazy sunday afternoon, I

Gratitude Journal: Day 29

Today I am grateful for new beginnings, possibilities, and stepping into the unknown. I realize not everything has to be planned or mapped out. It’s okay to take things one step at a time and to have faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

What are you grateful for today? Feel free to share your gratitudes by posting a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: Door of the King