Watch Your Language: How Words Shape Your Reality

When I work with clients, I often talk about how important our language is. The words we use give a glimpse into how we think. After listening to just a few sentences, I can tell you how you typically think about yourself and the world in general.

You may notice, as I do, that the words you use shift when you are feeling more stressed or overwhelmed. I know I can catch myself using “bad” words such as “can’t,” “should,” and “shouldn’t.” When I hear those words coming out of my mouth, I know I’m feeling anxious and my thoughts have shifted from positive to negative. How do I know? Because I have learned over the years to gauge not only the words I use, but other things as well that are all connected – like my thoughts, my body senstions, how I’m feeling, and the actions I take (and don’t take).

If I notice a bad word coming out of my mouth, I can follow it to my thoughts, (which might be focused on how unfair something is), which is connected to a physical sensation (such as a tightening in my stomach or lump in my throat), which is connected to how I’m feeling (perhaps frustrated), which is all tied into my actions (such as throwing my hands in the air or confronting someone head on). Awareness of how one small thing affects the bigger things is key to unlocking your own ability to change, make things (make life) better.

Here’s your challenge:

1. Write down your “bad” words. These are words that keep you stuck in stress, overwhelm, fear, worry, and all the stuff you don’t want to feel. You may notice a reaction when someone else says these words.
2. Ask someone you trust to keep track of how many times you say these words during a normal conversation. The idea here is for them to just keep track, not to tell you. You want to find out how much you really are using the words. You probably don’t realize how much you use “bad” words.
3. Then ask that same someone you trust to give you some sort of visual signal (such as a thumbs up or down) each time they hear you use the word. This gets you aware of when you are using “bad” words, so you can start to take notice of the circumstances, and also how you feel as you say these words, what you are doing, etc. The idea here is to start to form a connection between what you say, how  you feel, and what you do.
4. Next, as your trustworthy person continues to signal you, it’s time to make a different choice. Instead of saying “I can’t get my work done” change it to “I choose not to get my work done” or “I won’t get my work done until I (insert positive coping skill here).” That sure puts a different spin on things, doesn’t it?

You will notice quickly how just shifting the words you allow to come out of your mouth will start to affect other things – like your thoughts, body sensations, feelings, and actions.

For more tips on how to make small changes that make a big POSITIVE difference, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Suffering is Optional: Your Mindset Creates Your Reality.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/suffering-is-optional, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Speak NO Evil © by Esparta

Life Interrupted: What To Do When Things Don’t Go As Planned

If you want to make God laugh, make plans. I don’t know when I first heard that or who said it, but I sure do agree with it these days. It’s hard to remember the last time I had a day go even close to what I had planned. And believe me, I am a planner.

From to-do lists, to calendars, action plans, marketing plans, business plans, project plans…I love my lists. Give me a goal, and I can break it down for you step by step with tasks and deadlines. In fact, I can remember doing that in high school, scheduling my life in 15 minute increments in my day planner. I remember my sophomore English teacher being quite impressed by it. And it was fairly easy to manage when all I had on my plate was high school, a part-time retail job, and my family.

But somewhere along the way, life got a bit more complicated. Enter college, a full-time job, and part-time jobs on top of it, boyfriends, graduation, more jobs, a marriage, a baby, a divorce, graduate school, re-careering, etc. The lists got longer and the days got shorter.

What I’ve learned is that while planning may be an important (and helpful) part of life, there must also be space for other things that come up. Because there’s no way to plan for everything, every situation, every scenario. Once I started to adopt this new way of thinking, I realized it wasn’t the planning that had helped me all along as much as it was the feeling of being in control and prepared.

How to be in Control…First I must say that control is an illusion. We want control when we think we don’t have it. And the thought of being out of control can drive otherwise rational, sane people over the edge. Control is really about having our expectations met. It’s a nice thing, but not always going to happen. The only thing we really have control over is ourselves – our thoughts and behaviors. Most of the time, it seems to me that people who talk about control are upset because people around them aren’t meeting their expectations. That’s not a fun situation, but it happens…all the time. The more we can realize and accept that we cannot control others (whether our kids, spouses, partners, friends, bosses, etc.), and that we can only control ourselves, the easier things seem to get.

How to be Prepared…Being prepared is an entirely different animal. It is possible to be prepared for any situation that comes your way. How, you ask? By trusting yourself. Trust that you can handle whatever life throws at you. Trust that you will make the best decision you can with what resources you have at your disposal. Trust that you (or someone you know) can help you find answers and solutions. And trust that everything will be okay, regardless of how it turns out.

I planned to get some work done yesterday, but instead was faced with an intense family situation that stirred up a lot of emotions. I rearranged my planned schedule. I trusted myself to know what was best for me. I allowed myself space and time to feel, vent, breathe, and then get a bare minimum of work done.

Remember life happens in spite of your plans. How will you handle the next interruption?

Photo: Stop Hammertime © by Rich Anderson

Are You Ready to Let Go of Suffering and Start Enjoying Life Again?

Do you know anyone who is “doom and gloom” most of the time? Always finding the worst in every situation, or playing the martyr or victim? Pointing out what could go wrong and continuously talking about how miserable they are? And no matter what evidence they’re confronted with to the contrary, they find a way to turn it back to what’s wrong, rather than what is (or could be) right? Is that someone you know who is like this you?

Despite popular belief, suffering is optional. We can choose to find the worst in every situation or we can choose to find the best. Those who opt for door #1 (the negative) will see the world, other people, and themselves with this filter of negativity. Those who opt for door #2 (the positive) will see the world, other people, and themselves with that filter of positivity. What will you choose?

If you’re ready to shift your mindset and let go of suffering, please join me for July’s FREE Teleseminar… “Suffering is Optional: Your Mindset Creates Your Reality.”

In this teleseminar, I’ll cover:

• The Connection Between What You Think, What You Do, and How You Feel
• Why Language is So Important in Shifting Your Perspective
• 3 Steps to Creating a Winning Mindset

Don’t delay. Sign up today. The live call is coming soon. But don’t worry, if you can’t attend live, you can still sign up and get access to the recording. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up.

You Are What You Think: Understanding How Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions are Connected

Ever hear the saying “you are what you eat?” Our physical bodies can certainly be affected by what we put in our mouths. The fuel we feed our bodies affects our energy level and our overall health. But how often have you really thought about the fuel you put in your mind? And how that fuel can affect what you do and how you feel?

Thoughts are the fuel of the mind. From a simple thought such as where to place your foot as you step forward to more complex thoughts involving making life-altering decisions, make no mistake that your thoughts help create your reality. We are constantly thinking. Even as we sleep, our brains are processing information that sometimes come out in the form of dreams. We wake with thoughts – what do I need to do today, or what am I going to have for breakfast. We go about our day having a millions thoughts involving what we will do, what we will say, where we will go, etc.

Our thoughts give us clues about how we feel about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Try this little exercise: take out a piece of paper and write down 10 words that describe you. I’ll wait…(you’ll want to write the words down before reading further).

Now look more closely at your list. Do the words you wrote down describe your physical self (how you look, your body) or your character (who you are, your believes, values)? Do the words have a more negative or positive spin for you? In other words, did you describe yourself in critical terms, things you don’t like about yourself? Or did you describe what you like about yourself? This is a quick little test to see where you are RIGHT NOW in your thoughts.

Once you know where you thoughts are, you have a better understanding of what drives your feelings and your actions. When we think negatively about ourselves, we typically feel bad (sad, hurt, angry, frustrated, worried, confused, etc.). And if we feel bad, we are more likely to make poor choices about everything – what we say and do, the food we put in our mouths, the amount of sleep we get, etc. Conversely, when we think positively about ourselves, we generally feel good (happy, content, peacful, at east, etc.) and make better choices.

For tips on how to use your thoughts to feel better and make better choices, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Suffering is Optional: Your Mindset Creates Your Reality.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/suffering-is-optional, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Smile © by romainguy

11 Ways to Crush Your Creativity

While inspiration may be fickle, there are certainly things that can help it, and things that can hurt it. Over the years, I’ve become intimately familiar with things that get in the way of my own creativity, as well as things that seem to help it flourish.

But this is not your typical “how to” list. Hold onto your hats for the lighter side – as humor is actually something that HELPS. Enjoy. And if you have any other ideas for what NOT to do to help your creativity, please post a comment below.

1. Act serious all the time. No silliness, playing, smiling, or laughing…ever!
2. Let hours and hours go by without taking breaks, eating, drinking water, or moving from one spot.
3. Always err on the side of caution and avoid taking any risks.
4. Do the same things every day, day in and day out, without variation.
5. Let other people make decisions for you.
6. Work in a job that requires not much more of you than showing up and being physically present.
7. Skip vacations and weekend getaways to do extra work.
8. Avoid fresh air and being in nature.
9. Listen to that inner voice that criticizes everything you do, think, and feel.
10. Stay away from all physical activity.
11. Delay going to bed until you’re about to pass out from exhaustion.

Remember, this is a list of what NOT to do if you want to boost your creative spirits. Any other ideas? Leave a comment below.

Review: Journey Through the Chakras

Being in the present moment is a cornerstone to good healing work. Therapists, counselors, coaches, lightworkers, and alternative healing practitioners all talk about being able to get in touch with the here and now. But this can be easier said that done, as we live in a society that is goal-driven and focused more on the future.

While we can learn to get centered and be in the present moment on our own through practice, attending workshops, taking classes, etc., I find that the more tools I have at my fingertips, the easier it is to practice being in the present (or any skill for that matter).

One of my favorite tools for getting in the moment is Colette Baron-Reid’s “Journey Through the Chakras” CD, filled with 7 meditations set to music as well as her song “Love is the Answer.” These chakra meditations are powerful, as they combine Baron-Reid’s soothing voice guiding you through an experience, along with the added elements of color (associated with each chakra), visualization, and music. She helps draw you in with different senses – sight, sound, and touch. When I use these meditations, I notice myself able to slow down, focus on my breath, and get to a more centered place. And that feeling seems to last me throughout the day, helping me balance the ups and downs of day to day life.

When I have time, I listen to each of the 7 meditations consecutively, traveling from the root chakra at the base of my spine to the crown chakra at the top of my head.  But that only works if I have 35+ minutes to spare, which I don’t most of the time. I also pick and choose based on what chakra I’d like to focus on. Each meditation lasts from 4 to 6 minutes, a much easier, bite-sized chunk of time to spare.

For help in choosing which chakra meditation to focus on in your spare time, here’s a guide:

• Chakra 1: associated with self preservation and survival
• Chakra 2: associated with sexuality and creativity
• Chakra 3: associated with personal power, identity, and individuation
• Chakra 4: associated with compassion, love, and healing
• Chakra 5: associated with self expression and communication
• Chakra 6: associated with psychic perception, imagination, and intuition
• Chakra 7: associated with consciousness and spirituality

Enjoy your journey through the chakras.