Moving Forward in the Face of Fear

If your best friend were to come to you and say that something is stopping her dead in her tracks, keeping her stuck and unable to move forward, and had her convinced she would never get what she wanted, how would you respond? Would you get irritated at this thing or that she would allow this thing to have such power over her? Help her find ways to obliterate this thing? Build her up by reminding her how strong and awesome she is?

We go to such lengths for our friends, don’t we? But what if that someone who was stuck in the muck was you? Would you attack the issue with the same fervor and passion? Or would you curl up and be powerless to this thing?

We all get stuck. We all have “those days” where we just need a minute to slow down and take a breath. But then sometimes those days turn to weeks or months or years of staying stuck. Sure we can make decisions about what’s for dinner or what TV shows to watch, but the big decisions, the life-changing decisions, we just can’t seem to address. Decisions about our health, our finances, our work, our life’s purpose, our relationships…all seem too big to tackle in the face of this stuckness.

So what is this thing that keeps up stuck? It’s fear. Fear of change. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of…

Fear sure does get a bad wrap. We blame a lot on fear. But fear in itself is nothing more than an emotion or a signal to tell us that something is a bit off. What we choose to do with that signal is up to us. Some of us choose to be fearful and move forward anyway. Some of us choose to be fearful and stay stuck, looking for all the reasons something can’t be done. So it boils down to a choice (as most things do).

What will you choose?

For tips on HOW to overcome your fear, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “What Haunts You: Facing the (Not So) Scary Truth About What Keeps You Stuck.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/what-haunts-you, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: eyes wide © by robin.hodson

Ready to Face (and Conquer) the Not So Scary Truth About What Keeps You Stuck?

Do you go through life afraid to take risks and go after what you really want? Do you feel stuck in the same-old-same-old details of your life, unsure of where to go from here or convinced that no matter what you do, it won’t turn out the way you want so why even try?

You are not alone! Many of us can get swept up in doing things the way we’ve always done them out of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of making mistakes. What we forget is that fear isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It is just a signal. What we choose to do with that signal is where we can get in trouble.

If you’re ready to stop letting fear run your life and start going after what you want (and deserve), please join me for the October FREE Teleseminar… “What Haunts You: Facing the (Not So) Scary Truth About What Keeps You Stuck.”

In this teleseminar, I’ll cover:

• Why Fear Gets a Bad Wrap
• What Really Keeps You Stuck
• How to Unstick Yourself and Get Back to the Business of Living Your Life

Don’t delay. Sign up today. The live call is coming soon. But don’t worry, if you can’t attend live, you can still sign up and get access to the recording. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up.

What is Fear?

Author and spiritual teacher Neale Donald Walsch has a lot to say about fear. He talks about the core fears we have (life and death), the illusion of fear, and some ways to turn your thinking about fear around. Are you ready to Feel Excited And Ready? Enjoy the video below.

Make it a Great Day: The Power of Language in Creating Your Reality

If you’ve called my office in the last 10+ years and gotten my voicemail you will notice I sign off my outgoing messages with the phrase “Make it a Great Day.” This phrase has elicited more comments from people leaving messages than I could have ever imagined. And it underscores the importance that language plays in our perspective, a point I make so often with my clients.

Think about the phrase you probably hear more commonly: “Have a Great Day.” This phrase is a nice reminder. But the way it is worded leads you to the idea that you can either have a great day or not have a great day. And that the having is part of what happens TO you, rather than what you create. We already have enough (or too much IMHO) reminders in our language of our powerlessness or helplessness.

We adopt common phrases like “have a great day” or standard responses to questions such as “how are you?” But do we ever really think of what comes out of our mouths?

Language is a direct link to our thoughts, which reflect our beliefs, which connect to our emotions, which drive our behaviors. And all of these help create our experiences and our perspective.

When people hear the phrase “Make it a Great Day,” they stop and take notice. Why? Because it’s unexpected. In all the comments people have left about this one phrase, the common theme is one of realizing they have the power to choose what kind of day they have. That, my friends, is the power of language. Just changing one word in a common phrase helps to shift perspective – guiding someone from possibly thinking their experience is driven by outside forces to thinking they have some control over their experience. How powerful is that?

So next time you hear the phrase “Have a Great Day,” I challenge you to turn it around (at least in your head) and remember to “Make it a Great Day.” And if you happen to be calling my office, I’d love to hear how you created a great day for yourself.

Photo: smile! © by seanbjack

Embrace Your Mistake

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.” ~ Al Franken

Have you ever messed up? Done something wrong? Made a mistake, big or small, that affected not only you, but those around you?

Sure, we all have. But I want to take a moment to encourage you to look at mistakes a little differently than you may have before.

We all can probably get in touch with that feeling of making a mistake from when we were young children. That feeling of being in trouble when we know we’ve been caught or found out. I don’t know anyone who likes that feeling. Some of us learned to fess up and take the punishment. Others learned to lie about it and try to avoid consequences at all costs. Either way, there’s still a mistake that’s been made, and there will be a cost.

What is a mistake, anyway? According to dictionary.com, a mistake is:

1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2. a misunderstanding or misconception.

As children, we’re bound to make mistakes based on poor judgment and reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge and wisdom. It’s inevitable. Kids’ brains aren’t matured enough to know and do better. We make errors, we learn, we move on.

But somewhere along the way, as we grow into adults, we somehow get conditioned to believe that mistakes are unacceptable. We expect perfection instantly and get really impatient and judgmental of ourselves (and sometimes others) when that doesn’t happen. I’m not exactly sure what it is that makes us believe that with age comes infinite wisdom. Just because we have life experience in some areas doesn’t mean we know (or will ever know) everything there is to know about everything and never make errors or have misunderstanding ever again. One only need look at the news about foreign affairs in any part of the world (or go to any family gathering) to realize that misunderstandings and misconceptions are all around us.

I’d like us to think of mistakes in terms of opportunities. If mistakes are made by errors in judgment, then there’s an opportunity to learn about the consequences of our judgment. If we make mistakes based on insufficient knowledge, then there’s an opportunity to get educated. If mistakes come about by misunderstandings or misconceptions, then there’s an opportunity to gain some clarity about another point of view (not that you will necessarily agree with it).

The word MISTAKE is ingrained in us as this horrible, unforgiveable thing. But there is not one person alive who hasn’t made a mistake or will never make another mistake again. It is part of the learning process (aka life). If we can look at mistakes the way they are defined, as errors (which are things to be corrected) and misunderstandings (which are things to be understood), doesn’t that seem like a more gentle, helpful perspective?

Today, I invite you to embrace your mistakes, for they are your teachers and provide opportunities for you to learn and grow.

Photo: My mistakes have a certain logic © by theihno

Haunting Voices – “Sleep”

Eric Whitacre has put together a world-wide virtual choir that he conducts and records. I’ve seen (and heard) a few of his videos but none have touched me as deeply as this one. It is haunting (in a good way). Sleep, dear ones. And Enjoy!