What Are Those Distractions Telling You?

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself more distracted than usual. I can tell because it seems every time I sit down to write, prepare for an upcoming meeting, or knock something else off my ever-growing to-do list, I end up doing something completely different. I check my email, look through social media updates, clean something, play a game on my ipod, snuggle with my kitties, etc. Not that any of those pursuits are necessarily bad, but when done in lieu of what needs to get done it really adds up to a lot of time avoiding rather than really doing what needs to get done. Does that ever happen to you?

Instead of writing the articles that are on my list to write today, I decided to write about what is getting in the way of me getting things done.

Distractions.

Distractions do serve a purpose. They can help us clear our minds and ease away from an over-stimulated brain. But when we continuously use distractions to avoid our lives, we’re sure to miss out on a lot. Life can just pass us by while we’re distracted by other things. The key is finding out not only what you’re avoiding but why.

It’s generally easy to figure out what you’re avoiding because things just don’t get done or dealt with. You might avoid work, a difficult conversation, paying certain bills, exercise, or any other number of people, places, or things. The real trick is figuring out why you are avoiding.

Sometimes we just don’t want to deal with something (or someone) out of fear. Fear of what might happen. Fear of the unknown. Fear that things will change (or won’t change). We avoid having to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations by avoiding. We might put off making decisions, thinking that an answer will suddenly appear that eases the burden of us having to toil over the possibility of making a “wrong” choice. Avoidance can also be a sign that you are just too overwhelmed, need a break, and need to reprioritize some things.

To find out WHAT you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• What THINGS on my to-do list aren’t getting done?
• Are there certain people I’m not getting back to? Emails, phone messages, or texts going unanswered?

To find out WHY you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• How do I FEEL when I think about what I need to do (that thing I keep avoiding)?
• What am I afraid might happen when I do that thing I keep avoiding?

And finally, here are some ideas to help you keep distractions to a minimum:

• Make a decision. We sometimes think that avoiding making a decision means you can put it off till later. But really, avoiding a decision is making a decision NOT to decide. If you’ve been putting off making a decision, simply accept that you have made a decision, take ownership of it, and move on.
• Separate and conquer. Figure out what your biggest distractions are and try to separate those from what you are avoiding. For example, if you are working on the computer and you get distracted by email, close out your email program.
• Give yourself a break. Sometimes we are hard on ourselves for being distracted and avoiding when we simply might need a well deserved break. Remember to take frequent breaks during your day. Physically step away from what you are doing and do something different. If you work with people, spend some time alone. If you work with technology, unplug for a few minutes. If you work inside, go outside and get some fresh air.

Remember distractions aren’t always a bad thing. When used in moderation, distractions can help you unwind and shift gears. But when you use distractions to avoid doing things you really need to get done, it’s time to take a closer look.

Photo: iPod touch – My PDA. © by MJ/TR (´･ω･)

When You Don’t Have Enough Time…

Time is a funny thing. It comes. It goes. And you seem to never have enough of it. (The same could be said for a lot of things). But lately, time seems to really be, as the Steve Miller Band sings…”slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future.”

Distractions are everywhere, from work projects, to family obligations, to the little things we get sucked into to avoid what really needs to get done. You know what I’m talking about – those activities that consume us and serve only to pass the time. For me, those activities include things like TV, surfing the internet, and social media.

One thing I learned long ago when time was more precious to me than even money was that in order to get the things done on my to-do list that really mattered, I needed to guard my time wisely. But when we are in the midst of avoiding and allowing ourselves to be distracted, it’s hard to manage our time. We get swept into believing that there isn’t enough time when in reality we are not using the time we have (which is the same amount as everyone else) productively. It’s important to first take a step back, a time-out if you will, to really take a look at what’s going on.

Here’s some ideas to help you do just that – things that have worked for me in my pursuit of more time (aka less overwhelm and more stuff crossed off my to-do list):

1. Take a good look at where you are really spending your time. You can do this by creating a visual representation of your time. Take out a piece of paper (or open up a new document on your computer – in a word processing or spreadsheet program). Down the left side of the paper, divvy out time into 15 minute increments, from the time you wake until the time you go to bed. Next to each time on the right side, write down what you actually are doing. Keep this paper with you throughout the day and periodically write down all your activities. Do this for a week. You might be surprised (or not) at where your time goes. But with it all written out before you, you certainly cannot deny where it’s all going.
2. Write down your top three priorities. These can be anything (or anyone) important to you. Keep this list where you can see it and especially near areas where you seem to spend unproductive time (like the TV or computer). Put the list as a screensaver on your computer or the wallpaper for your phone. Look at it often to help keep you on track.
3. Give yourself a break. Another thing I learned a long time ago (the hard way) is that expecting myself to be “productive” all the time is the fastest way to burnout. Now I take regular breaks and physically walk away and change my scenery at least 2 to 3 times during my work day. It is on my calendar just as any other important appointment would be.

Remember, while time may seem to be slippin,’ you do have control over what you do with your time. Sure there are going to be times when your time is consumed by certain tasks. That’s a normal part of life. But if you notice you have the same things on your to-do list that aren’t getting crossed off, chances are it’s less about how much time you have and more about how you are spending it.

Got some other ideas on how to make the most of your time? I’d love to hear them. Please leave a comment below.

Just for fun: listen to “Fly Like an Eagle” by the Steve Miller Band…

Photo: Clock © by Svadilfari

Calm Vs. Chaos: Which Will YOU Choose?

Less stress in life is a goal for many and the new Stress is A Choice movie offers concrete tools on how to simplify life and relieve stress. Check it out…

Is Your Inbox Too Full?

“Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone.” -Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie

What do you immediately think of when you read the title of this article? Your email inbox? Most people would think that. And this article was inspired by my very full email inbox, so it only makes sense.

As more and more emails seem to flood my inbox in recent weeks, I’ve noticed my stress level shoot up, the tension in my shoulders increase, and the anxiety of all the anticipated additions to my already overflowing to-do list. I’m signed up to receive information about health, business, wellness, spirituality, music, home improvement, etc.

When I remember, I stop and take a breath and realize I’ve invited all these emails into my life. My inbox (and reaction to my inbox) tells me a lot about what is going on in other areas of my life.

Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a life coach) to realize I have a lot of things going on. I have a tendency toward workaholism and part of this condition (at least for me) sometimes is the failure to realize how over-extended I am until something like a very full email inbox nearly brings me to tears. My inbox mirrors my life and all the responsibilities I have taken on.

With that awareness comes a choice: to continue letting things accumulate in my inbox or to filter things out that are no longer relevant. Each choice has its own set of consequences. But it all really comes down to priorities, which are constantly shifting, depending on what is going on.

So I ask…how full is your inbox? And if you’re not happy with how full or empty it is, what are YOU willing to do to change it? Here’s some tips for how to gain some control over your inbox (i.e. life):

1. Make a SHORT list of priorities and post them in places you can see around your house.
2. Delete an email that’s been sitting in your inbox for more than a week. It’s okay, the world will NOT come to an end.
3. Unsubscribe from an email list that either doesn’t fit with your priorities right now or that you don’t have time for. You can always subscribe to it again when things settle down.
4. Take some time for you. A little each day is best, if even for 5 minutes, to center yourself. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
5. Set your timer. If you need reminders to wake up or take your clothes out of the dryer, doesn’t it make sense that a timer might work to remind you to do something for yourself? Like STOP going through your email inbox, or breathe, or whatever else you choose. Give it a try.

I’d love to hear what shifts you’ve made to get control over your overflowing inbox. Leave a comment below.

Photo: Paper Weaving © by FeatheredTar

Book Review: Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered by Gay Hendricks

If you’re ready to hunker down and really do some work toward finally learning to love yourself, this is a great place to start. Author Gay Hendricks interjects many examples into this book that help illustrate his points. The main message: self acceptance. But he doesn’t stop there. He shows you practical and useful tools to get there. Some of what he teaches seems deceptively simple, but once you start REALLY doing it, you can see how powerful it can be at uncovering those hidden layers of self-deprecation. This has been a tremendously helpful resource for me both personally and professionally.

You can find “Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered” by Gay Hendricks at Amazon.

Looking for other great SELF CARE resources? Check out my recommendations: https://krylyn.com/recommendations.

Give, and then Give Some More – Making the Most of Your Relationships

What are you doing to make the most important relationships in your life be all they can be? Enjoy this 3 minute movie, The 100/0 Principle which shares the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others.