What Creativity Taught Me About Getting Unstuck

How many times to do you hear people talking about being stuck? Stuck in financial situations. Stuck in jobs. Stuck in relationships. Stuck in thoughts. Stuck in fear. Stuckness seems to be an epidemic. But the idea of being stuck is really more about perspective and less about all that other stuff.

There’s an ebb and flow to life, to moods, to progress. Yet, it seems in our Tweeting, drive-through, instant-gratification society, we just don’t want to have anything to do with that. Any moments we aren’t moving at the speed of light toward happiness we perceive as wasted time.

As a creative person, the idea of ebb and flow is quite familiar to me. Inspiration strikes and I’m working for 10 hours straight on a song without moving from one spot. Inspiration evades and no ideas come or nothing I write sounds good. When I was younger, I would get upset that inspiration didn’t follow my commands of showing up when, where, and how I wanted. I used to call it a slump, or writer’s block, or being stuck. But as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to look at it a bit differently. From my own experience with the ebb and flow of inspiration, I’ve learned to:

1. Allow, not force or coerce, an idea to flow. It will show up in its own time. Sometimes this means focusing on something else entirely and giving my brain a rest. It also means not getting in the way of an idea once it comes. I call this a “stream of consciousness” approach, à la Freud, just letting the ideas flow, even if they don’t seem to make sense at the time.
2. Accept my ideas without judgment, as both part of and separate from myself. Inspired ideas come from anywhere and everywhere and are not only a representation of my experience and my perspective but also a manifestation of messages from intuition, spirit, or whatever you call that place that just knows. Sometimes I find my thoughts seem very random but as they unfold, they blossom into nuggets of wisdom. If I passed judgment during the process, these insights might never see the light of day.
3. Honor the quiet moments. Because writing music is a cathartic experience for me, I often have very strong emotional responses during the writing process. It’s not uncommon for me to weep with joy or sadness, depending on the theme of the song. But, if I had to live in that intense emotion all the time, I wouldn’t be able function. I’ve come to enjoy the times between the inspiration – the stillness, the anticipation – knowing they are preparing me for what is yet to come.

Think about how these seemingly simple, yet powerful, ideas about creativity and inspiration translate into other areas of our lives. Take a difficult relationship for example. What would happen if you allowed the relationship to unfold without forcing your opinions or ideas onto the other person, accepted the relationship (or the other person) without judgment, and honored the space and time away from that person? Would you feel differently about the relationship or other person? It’s important to realize that stuckness is just a temporary state of thinking.

For more creative ideas on how to get unstuck and back on track in your life and business , please join me for the annual “Creativity and Wellness Summit,” where I interview experts – psychotherapists, coaches, authors, and spiritual healers – who will give us their best tips for dealing with stress and burnout, improving relationships, and living happier, healthier, more balanced lives. Get all the details for how you can listen in LIVE for FREE at http://www.CreativityAndWellnessSummit.com.

Photo: Gum Shoe © by mahalie

Self Love: Believe it and You Will See it

Welcome to February, the month of LOVE. While most of us might think about love at this time of year as “Valentine’s Day,” flowers, chocolates, and cuddling with that special someone, there’s a different kind of love we can choose celebrate. It’s the kind of love that most of us don’t talk about, or maybe even think about, yet it’s one of the most important kind of loves we will ever have. Self love.

Before you roll your eyes and stop reading, consider this…How you do (or don’t) love and care for yourself is connected to everything in your life. Every success. Every failure. Every thought, feeling, and action.

When you approach life not liking what and who you see in the mirror every morning, you better believe it affects what you do, what you say, what you think, and ultimately who you are. Conversely, when you approach life liking (even loving) what and who you see in the mirror every morning, that also affects you. So which will you choose?

Unfortunately, it seems easier to focus on what we DON’T like about ourselves, whether physical attributes or character traits. And our society that values “perfection” (whatever THAT is) and holds to strict standards of physical beauty doesn’t help matters. You only have to look at TV commercials, magazine ads, and pretty much any kind of advertising to realize what you don’t have and what advertisers would have you believing that you need in order to be better, more worthy.

But the truth is that you are already the best you that you can be. Right now, in this moment. Imagine what life would be like if you believed:

• You are the perfect version of you.
• You have everything you need to be happy and fulfilled.
• You are beautiful just the way you are.

How do you think believing these statements would affect how you FEEL about yourself, what ACTIONS you take, and HOW you treat yourself? If you dare to imagine that these statements are true, what are you waiting for? Live your life as if they are true. Because the truth is that they already are!

To learn more about the art of loving yourself, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Loving the Reflection in the Mirror: The Secret Power of Self Love and Positive Self Talk”. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Hearts (Explored!) © by qthomasbower

What’s Wrong RIGHT With You?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”

~Marianne Williamson

It’s easy to focus on what’s wrong – with the world, with other people, and especially with ourselves. We are constantly bombarded with messages of not being “good enough” when told that in order to be happier, more fulfilled, a better parent, better lover, better person we need X, Y, or Z.  We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that the latest product or service can “fix” us or change us into the person we long to be. But when we look outside ourselves to feel better inside, it generally leads to more wanting of stuff and less actually feeling better about anything.

What if we spent the same amount of time and energy focusing on what’s RIGHT? Right with ourselves, right with others, and right with the world. Because as simple as it sounds, what we focus on and think about expands and gets drawn to us, whether it’s positive or negative. What would YOU like to attract?

Imagine just for a moment how life would be different if instead of giving in to the pressure of finding fault with yourself and those around you, you focused on:

• The positive qualities and strengths of yourself and others
• How you can brighten someone else’s day or ease their burden
• What you can do to show love to yourself consistently
• The amazing things being done to help people in your community and around the world
• Embracing and accepting yourself as you are

Can you see how focusing on those things would change the way you think…about yourself, others, and the world around you? Would it change your attitude or your actions?

If you’re so inclined to dare to be positive and focus on what is going well, here’s your challenge for the next week:

1. Pick one of the things on the list above to focus on for the next week. Write it down and keep it with you at all times, preferably where you can see it multiple times a day.
2. Say what you are focusing on aloud 10 times each day. For example, if you chose “what I can do to show myself love consistently” say something like “I consistently show myself love today” or “I choose to love myself today.”
3. Journal about your experience daily (or at the very least at the end of the week). Write what you notice about your mood, your attitude, your thoughts, and how you feel. Read what you wrote and notice if it is different from how you were doing before the challenge.

While it may be “easier” to focus on what’s wrong because that’s what so many people around us are doing, it is more productive and healthier to focus on what’s right. What do you really have to lose other than a poor attitude and a negative outlook?

I’d love to hear your comments and how your challenge goes. Please comment below.

Letting Go and Moving Forward

Focusing on the positive while undergoing changes can be challenging. It takes practice. I don’t know about you, but I can get impatient. We live in a society of instant gratification, a “faster is better” philosophy, and I certainly do fall into that mentality, just like everyone else.

I’ve been catching myself more lately, and consciously slowing things down. I’ve been re-prioritizing, re-organizing, and re-inventing myself and my goals. I’ve gone from a multi-tasking approach to a mono-tasking approach. I’ve walked away from projects for days and re-discovered the joy of sleeping in, spending time with friends, and not planning every minute of my day. And you know what? Things are still getting done and the world hasn’t come to an end.

As I dive deeper into personal and professional change, I’m finding joy in the process. I’m able to side-step obstacles or just jump over them with minimal effort, which I must say is a refreshing departure from resistance and pain. Opportunities and people are presenting themselves at the right time. Do I still get caught up in complaining and impatience? You bet! But I don’t let it consume me and I don’t stay in it for long. For me, it’s a non-productive and potentially destructive place to be. It leaves me drained and unable to move forward as easily.

I think one of the biggest contributors to my new-found attitude is a shift I’ve made in letting things go. Things that don’t serve the higher good. Things that distract from progress. Things that get in the way of me doing what I’m meant to do and being who I’m meant to be. I realized I could grow and move toward my goals or I could wallow in self-doubt but I couldn’t do both at the same time. Think about it. When you have doubts about your abilities or worth, do you have the confidence and courage to take risks and try new things? I know I don’t. That’s not to say I don’t try, but when I move forward with joy and a positive attitude, I tend to get better results.

No matter what changes you are experiencing right now, ask yourself this: What do you have to let go of in order to move forward?

It might be physical stuff, a certain attitude, relationships, etc. Whatever IT is, make a commitment to let it go. If you don’t know how, or you are having difficulty, get some help. Here’s some tips for letting go of whatever it is getting in your way of moving forward:

• Decide you want to let go of whatever isn’t serving you. Making a decision is a powerful thing that we don’t always think too much about. We often live on the verge of a decision, afraid to commit. But once you actually decide you want to do something, you might be amazed at how things just fall into place.
• Pick ONE thing you want to let go of and work a little bit each day to let it go. If it’s physical stuff, take 15 minutes a day to just start clearing it out. If it’s your attitude, spend 5 minutes a day saying positive affirmations. If it’s a relationship, spend some time figuring out what you DO want out of the relationship, how you can get it, or whether it’s time to let it go.
• Give yourself a pat on the back or compliment as you let go of whatever it is. We forget to give ourselves credit for our accomplishments (yet we’re quick to berate ourselves when we don’t progress).

I’d love to hear how you’re letting go and moving forward. Leave a comment below.

Photo: Luggage © by robef

Songwriting Imitates Life: Process Vs. Outcome

With songwriting, there is often (but not always) an outcome or finished product called a song. But the joy of songwriting for me is in what happens during the writing process. I like to remember that the word songwriting (for me) is an action word, not an outcome word, otherwise it would be called “song-wrote.”

During my songwriting process, ideas come, seemingly from no source (or maybe THE source), and flow through me. I just let it happen. I get in touch with feelings and thoughts I didn’t know were there, or that were buried or hidden just out of my reach. It is the one area of my life I am routinely not a perfectionist. I don’t expect too much from myself. And I allow myself to go with the flow.

When inspiration strikes, I let it carry me where it wants to go. Someties it’s a long journey, sometimes short, and sometimes it turns and takes me in another direction. Often, I can sit down and write the lyrics and melody of a song within 30 minutes. Other times, I get a verse or a phrase written and the flow stops. Maybe the song isn’t ready to go further at all, it was just a quick expression and now it’s over. Sometimes, I’ll look at it a few days, weeks, months, or years later and the rest of the song flows and gets finished. The point is that I don’t force it. I let the process happen and know that whatever is meant to be will be.

But it took me a long time to figure out that the process was the key. I remember getting frustrated when inspiration didn’t come when, where, and how I wanted. I longed for the finished song and cursed any interruptions in getting me there. Interruptions like

• the obligation of going to a job
• needing to be somewhere at a certain time
• the phone ringing
• a knock at the door
• my stomach growling
• or any number of other things

I just wanted to get through the process to the outcome of a finished song, and I was content to pay little attention to what was going on around me.

Sound familiar?

So often, our society is bent on outcome – realized goals, acquired possessions, tangible evidence of success, doing whatever it takes to get the job done. But often, we go after the outcome at the expense of ourselves. We can lose sight of what’s important, lose sleep, skip meals, avoid friends and family, not take care of ourselves. In other words, compromise our physical and mental health…all for the sake of a goal.

Process is the journey. It’s about keeping our eyes on the goal but not allowing our focus to be so all-or-nothing, tunnel-vision, all-consuming, that we forget what’s going on around us. It’s about honoring ourselves and our vision for the future at the same time. And it can be a real challenge.

Are you outcome or process focused? If you have a to-do list a mile long, rarely take breaks, eat on the run, multi-task, don’t schedule time for yourself, and are challenged by the idea or practice of taking good care of yourself, chances are you are more focused on the outcomes, or goals, in your life. If you routinely schedule time for yourself, don’t get too bothered by detours and changes in plans, rest when you need to rest, and make self care a priority, then you are likely a person who is focused more on the process, or journey, of your life. So which one are you?

The good news is you don’t have to stay stuck on either side. Life often changes course and there’s always an opportunity to shift the way you live your life. Being aware is always the first step in any healing journey. The next step is doing something about it. Here’s some tips you might try to get less focused on your goal and more focused on your journey:

1. Let go of your perfection and remember…done is better than perfect.
2. If things aren’t working smoothly, or flowing easily, let them go and focus on something else.
3. Honor yourself by taking small breaks throughout the day. Stretch, change your scenery, or get outside for some fresh air.

Got any comments about process vs. outcome? Please share them below. And please feel free to share this article via your social networks.

“Blackbird” by Bobby McFerrin

In the 1980’s, I stumbled upon the most unique vocalist I’d ever heard – Bobby McFerrin – who used his voice (and body) as an instrument. His vocal ability left me in awe and inspired me to begin a journey of more creativity and improvisation in my own songwriting. Watch a video of one of the first songs I heard him perform…(and prepare to be amazed and entertained).