3 Types of Clutter That May Be Holding You Back

April is prime time to tackle that dreaded Spring Cleaning. Out with the old, in with the new. Time to dust off that which no longer serves a purpose. You may be thinking about clearing out all that stuff you can see around you, rolling up your sleeves, getting out those cleaning supplies, and cranking up some fast-paced music to help keep you motivated. But what about all the stuff you can’t see, the stuff that lurks in the hearts and minds of humans everywhere?

Clutter certainly involves the stuff that accumulates in our homes, offices, and cars. Things like papers, clothes, knick knacks, books, dishes, trash, collectibles, etc. But more broadly defined, clutter is anything (seen or unseen) that gets in the way of you living a balanced, peaceful, simple, harmonious, juicy life. Clutter adds to your stress and drains you of what precious little time and energy you have. Can you think of anything besides physical items that do that? I know I sure can. Here’s just a few:

• Negative thoughts
• Painful feelings
• The idea that you have to do everthing yourself
• Perfectionism

As someone who has spent the last several years paying close attention to that which doesn’t serve me and systematically eliminating it (or reducing it) from my life, I’ve come up with three categories of clutter:

Clutter in the Home. This is the PHYSICAL CLUTTER, or stuff we typicall can see that is getting in our way. For many of this, this includes the piles of paper, mail, magazines, newspapers, unfinished projects, clothes, and pretty much anything that occupies our tables, floors, and chairs. It’s the stuff not put away that either doesn’t have a place to go (because all the places are filled with other stuff) or is just one more thing we don’t have the time or energy do deal with.

Clutter in the Heart. This is the EMOTIONAL CLUTTER, or the feelings we have that we either ignore, stuff down deep inside, or let out in ineffective ways. This often involves unresolved issues with relationships, like parents, siblings, children, friends, and other loved ones.

Clutter in the Head. This is the MENTAL CLUTTER, or thoughts that ruminate in our over-active brains. This can include our negative thoughts about ourselves, others, and the world. It can also include constantly thinking about our past or future at the expense of enjoying our present.

To learn how to tackle the clutter in your head, heart, and home, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Clearing the Clutter: How 15 Minutes Could Save Your Sanity.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/clearing-the-clutter/, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: World’s Messiest Office Cubicle Discovered in Colorado © by Jeffrey Beall

10 Ways to Magnify Your Stress, Send Yourself Over the Edge, and Stay in the Drama Zone

WARNING: A sense of humor is required to fully appreciate this article.

For all the drama-seekers, chaos-creators, and wheel-spinners, this article is for YOU. Don’t get bogged down with all that mumbo-jumbo about being happy, reaching your goals, and blah blah blah. It’s all a bunch of #@*&! You know where the real fun lies…in never knowing what’s going to happen, never being prepared for the unexpected, and always feeling disconnected, out-of-sorts, and ready to explode with frustration and stress. So read on, my dear drama queens (and kings). Read how to stay in that place you love oh so well…the DRAMA ZONE!

1. Say yes to every request that comes your way. You don’t want people to not like you, think bad about you, or talk about you behind your back. Besides, everyone else’s needs are a much higher priority than yours.
2. Let others completely dictate your schedule, from the time you wake up until the time you pass out somewhere between your last task and your bed.
3. Never prepare for anything, including meetings, parent-teacher conferences, social events, meals, your future, etc. Leaving it up to everyone and everything else is so much more…”fun.”
4. Don’t take any time off…ever. Taking time off is a sign of weakness. That means no breaks and no vacations. And certainly no time off when you’re sick or your kids are sick.
5. Eat only while doing other things too in order to maximize your productivity. So what if you get pasta sauce on your computer keyboard or if your phone accidentally takes a dive into the toilet.
6. Don’t worry about putting things away. Just leave them where they fall. Papers, magazines, bills, clothes, trash. Just think of all the time you’ll save by not organizing or getting rid of things you don’t need.
7. Resist any urge to organize your time. Throw away any calendars, alarm clocks, timers, and watches. You’ll show up when you show up.
8. Constantly bombard yourself with noise – from the TV blaring, to loud music on your radio or mp3 player. Silence is highly overrated.
9. Give up on your dreams. You don’t have the time or energy to tend to them anyway.
10. Always believe everything you see and hear in the media. Those guys get paid a lot of money, so they must know what they’re talking about and would never steer you wrong.

Okay, now that that foolishness is done, I hope you can see how we sometimes actually say and think these things without even realizing it. But having them written out like this, I also hope you can see how silly they are. When we get into that DRAMA ZONE, it can be a challenge to see just how twisted our thoughts become, and how easy it is to fall into some of these traps…thinking if we just worked harder, worked more, then we would get caught up and feel less stressed. But we need to consistently tend to our own needs in order to feel the inner peace we long for.

For some REAL ideas on how to consistently take good care of you, minimize your stress, and stay as far away from the drama zone as possible, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Consistency is Key: How Routines Can Boost Your Confidence.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/dev/free-teleseminars/consistency-is-key, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Boy with Yellow Magnifying Glass © by barbourians

What Are Those Distractions Telling You?

Over the past couple weeks, I’ve found myself more distracted than usual. I can tell because it seems every time I sit down to write, prepare for an upcoming meeting, or knock something else off my ever-growing to-do list, I end up doing something completely different. I check my email, look through social media updates, clean something, play a game on my ipod, snuggle with my kitties, etc. Not that any of those pursuits are necessarily bad, but when done in lieu of what needs to get done it really adds up to a lot of time avoiding rather than really doing what needs to get done. Does that ever happen to you?

Instead of writing the articles that are on my list to write today, I decided to write about what is getting in the way of me getting things done.

Distractions.

Distractions do serve a purpose. They can help us clear our minds and ease away from an over-stimulated brain. But when we continuously use distractions to avoid our lives, we’re sure to miss out on a lot. Life can just pass us by while we’re distracted by other things. The key is finding out not only what you’re avoiding but why.

It’s generally easy to figure out what you’re avoiding because things just don’t get done or dealt with. You might avoid work, a difficult conversation, paying certain bills, exercise, or any other number of people, places, or things. The real trick is figuring out why you are avoiding.

Sometimes we just don’t want to deal with something (or someone) out of fear. Fear of what might happen. Fear of the unknown. Fear that things will change (or won’t change). We avoid having to deal with uncomfortable feelings and situations by avoiding. We might put off making decisions, thinking that an answer will suddenly appear that eases the burden of us having to toil over the possibility of making a “wrong” choice. Avoidance can also be a sign that you are just too overwhelmed, need a break, and need to reprioritize some things.

To find out WHAT you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• What THINGS on my to-do list aren’t getting done?
• Are there certain people I’m not getting back to? Emails, phone messages, or texts going unanswered?

To find out WHY you are avoiding, ask yourself these questions:

• How do I FEEL when I think about what I need to do (that thing I keep avoiding)?
• What am I afraid might happen when I do that thing I keep avoiding?

And finally, here are some ideas to help you keep distractions to a minimum:

• Make a decision. We sometimes think that avoiding making a decision means you can put it off till later. But really, avoiding a decision is making a decision NOT to decide. If you’ve been putting off making a decision, simply accept that you have made a decision, take ownership of it, and move on.
• Separate and conquer. Figure out what your biggest distractions are and try to separate those from what you are avoiding. For example, if you are working on the computer and you get distracted by email, close out your email program.
• Give yourself a break. Sometimes we are hard on ourselves for being distracted and avoiding when we simply might need a well deserved break. Remember to take frequent breaks during your day. Physically step away from what you are doing and do something different. If you work with people, spend some time alone. If you work with technology, unplug for a few minutes. If you work inside, go outside and get some fresh air.

Remember distractions aren’t always a bad thing. When used in moderation, distractions can help you unwind and shift gears. But when you use distractions to avoid doing things you really need to get done, it’s time to take a closer look.

Photo: iPod touch – My PDA. © by MJ/TR (´･ω･)

When You Don’t Have Enough Time…

Time is a funny thing. It comes. It goes. And you seem to never have enough of it. (The same could be said for a lot of things). But lately, time seems to really be, as the Steve Miller Band sings…”slippin’ slippin’ slippin’ into the future.”

Distractions are everywhere, from work projects, to family obligations, to the little things we get sucked into to avoid what really needs to get done. You know what I’m talking about – those activities that consume us and serve only to pass the time. For me, those activities include things like TV, surfing the internet, and social media.

One thing I learned long ago when time was more precious to me than even money was that in order to get the things done on my to-do list that really mattered, I needed to guard my time wisely. But when we are in the midst of avoiding and allowing ourselves to be distracted, it’s hard to manage our time. We get swept into believing that there isn’t enough time when in reality we are not using the time we have (which is the same amount as everyone else) productively. It’s important to first take a step back, a time-out if you will, to really take a look at what’s going on.

Here’s some ideas to help you do just that – things that have worked for me in my pursuit of more time (aka less overwhelm and more stuff crossed off my to-do list):

1. Take a good look at where you are really spending your time. You can do this by creating a visual representation of your time. Take out a piece of paper (or open up a new document on your computer – in a word processing or spreadsheet program). Down the left side of the paper, divvy out time into 15 minute increments, from the time you wake until the time you go to bed. Next to each time on the right side, write down what you actually are doing. Keep this paper with you throughout the day and periodically write down all your activities. Do this for a week. You might be surprised (or not) at where your time goes. But with it all written out before you, you certainly cannot deny where it’s all going.
2. Write down your top three priorities. These can be anything (or anyone) important to you. Keep this list where you can see it and especially near areas where you seem to spend unproductive time (like the TV or computer). Put the list as a screensaver on your computer or the wallpaper for your phone. Look at it often to help keep you on track.
3. Give yourself a break. Another thing I learned a long time ago (the hard way) is that expecting myself to be “productive” all the time is the fastest way to burnout. Now I take regular breaks and physically walk away and change my scenery at least 2 to 3 times during my work day. It is on my calendar just as any other important appointment would be.

Remember, while time may seem to be slippin,’ you do have control over what you do with your time. Sure there are going to be times when your time is consumed by certain tasks. That’s a normal part of life. But if you notice you have the same things on your to-do list that aren’t getting crossed off, chances are it’s less about how much time you have and more about how you are spending it.

Got some other ideas on how to make the most of your time? I’d love to hear them. Please leave a comment below.

Just for fun: listen to “Fly Like an Eagle” by the Steve Miller Band…

Photo: Clock © by Svadilfari

Is Your Inbox Too Full?

“Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone.” -Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie

What do you immediately think of when you read the title of this article? Your email inbox? Most people would think that. And this article was inspired by my very full email inbox, so it only makes sense.

As more and more emails seem to flood my inbox in recent weeks, I’ve noticed my stress level shoot up, the tension in my shoulders increase, and the anxiety of all the anticipated additions to my already overflowing to-do list. I’m signed up to receive information about health, business, wellness, spirituality, music, home improvement, etc.

When I remember, I stop and take a breath and realize I’ve invited all these emails into my life. My inbox (and reaction to my inbox) tells me a lot about what is going on in other areas of my life.

Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist (or a life coach) to realize I have a lot of things going on. I have a tendency toward workaholism and part of this condition (at least for me) sometimes is the failure to realize how over-extended I am until something like a very full email inbox nearly brings me to tears. My inbox mirrors my life and all the responsibilities I have taken on.

With that awareness comes a choice: to continue letting things accumulate in my inbox or to filter things out that are no longer relevant. Each choice has its own set of consequences. But it all really comes down to priorities, which are constantly shifting, depending on what is going on.

So I ask…how full is your inbox? And if you’re not happy with how full or empty it is, what are YOU willing to do to change it? Here’s some tips for how to gain some control over your inbox (i.e. life):

1. Make a SHORT list of priorities and post them in places you can see around your house.
2. Delete an email that’s been sitting in your inbox for more than a week. It’s okay, the world will NOT come to an end.
3. Unsubscribe from an email list that either doesn’t fit with your priorities right now or that you don’t have time for. You can always subscribe to it again when things settle down.
4. Take some time for you. A little each day is best, if even for 5 minutes, to center yourself. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.
5. Set your timer. If you need reminders to wake up or take your clothes out of the dryer, doesn’t it make sense that a timer might work to remind you to do something for yourself? Like STOP going through your email inbox, or breathe, or whatever else you choose. Give it a try.

I’d love to hear what shifts you’ve made to get control over your overflowing inbox. Leave a comment below.

Photo: Paper Weaving © by FeatheredTar