Who Do You Want to Be?
Who do you want to be? A question asked at this time of year as people young and old (and not-so-old) gear up for a day of transforming themselves for Halloween. Zombies, princesses, vampires, pirates, gypsies, clowns, witches, superheroes, and all sorts of other creatures and characters emerge to celebrate on this day. I’m guessing some people spend more time planning who they want to be for Halloween, costume and demeanor, than they do planning who they truly want to be in their own lives.
Maybe it’s because we’re afraid to take a really hard look at ourselves. Maybe we aren’t happy with the way things currently are. Or maybe we’re going through some tough times and just don’t have the energy to focus on ourselves. There doesn’t ever seem to be a shortage of reasons (or excuses) to not focus on ourselves, does there? But when we avoid asking ourselves the question “who do I want to be” we’re missing a tremendous opportunity to shape ourselves, to make changes, and to live the life we’re meant to live.
When I talk about who we are and who we want to be, I’m talking about on the inside – personality and character traits, how we feel about ourselves, and the way others would describe us. Things like:
- Honest
- Kind
- Gracious
- Compassionate
- Empathic
- Considerate
- Giving
- Friendly
- Helpful
- Zealous
- Courageous
- Passionate
- Tactful
- Sensitive (to name just a few)
While we may have moments of not being our best selves, chances are we have more moments of being the way we want to be than we realize. We tend to focus on our missteps (rather than our successes), and then mistakenly believe those smaller moments as true in describing who we are. Just because you do one thing that is dishonest doesn’t mean you are a dishonest person. Just because you say one thing that is hurtful doesn’t mean you are an unkind person. It just means you did one thing not in line with who you are.
Have you ever really stopped to think about who you truly are inside or how you would describe yourself? Or who you want to become? Whether you have or not, here’s your opportunity to do it or to remind yourself. Here’s some tips on how:
- Take a moment to think about all the wonderful characteristics you posses (or want to posses). Think of examples and experiences when you were able to show who you truly are. You might also think of ways you could show who you want to be.
- Then write them down, including specific examples of how you showed (or would show) who you are. Include as many details as you can (who was or would be involved, what were you or would you be doing, how did you or would you feel about yourself, etc.).
- Keep these stories of proof of who you are or who you want to be close by to remind you in times when you are feeling less than your ideal self.
- The best way to transform into who you want to be is to act accordingly. Take small action steps. Think of what a compassionate person would do or someone who is courageous or gracious (or whatever characteristic you wish you had more of). Then do it.
Sure it’s fun to pretend and dress up, taking on a new persona, and taking a vacation from who you really are. But just imagine if you put the same amount of thought, focus, and attention on yourself throughout the year. Who would YOU be?
Photo: Halloween niños 2011 © by gaudiramone
