Is Fear a Choice?
What are you afraid of? Most people are afraid of some similar things, such as:
- The unknown
- Change
- Rejection
- Abandonment
- Death
- Loss
- Success
- Failure
Others have more specific fears, such as:
- Spiders
- Heights
- Needles
- Flying
- Water
Regardless of what fears you have, know this…
Fear is a base emotion that ALL humans have.
Fear is genetically hard-wired in us as a way to protect us from harm and keep us alive. It is an early warning system.
Over time and evolution, we are still hard-wired to feel fear of anything that threatens our safety. However, we no longer have the same threats to our physical safety on a regular basis (i.e. being eaten by predators). We do, however, still perceive threats…to our EMOTIONAL safety. But our bodies cannot tell the difference between a physical threat and an emotional threat. Our bodies react to protect us against any threat.
We fear being judged, criticized, rejected, abandoned, ostracized, labeled, etc. If someone looks at us a certain way, we might FEEL a certain way, which may be a threat to us feeling safe, loved, cared for, and ok. If we FEEL threatened, our THOUGHTS kick in to let us know we’re not safe, we must leave or attack or otherwise protect ourselves. Then we behave accordingly. It’s a complex system where our emotions, thoughts, and actions are all inter-connected.
It’s not a matter of getting RID of fear, it’s a matter of processing it and reacting to it differently. When someone says they want to get rid of fear, all I hear is another ploy to deny our emotions. Folks, we are all experts (in one way or another) in denying our emotions. We’ve learned to cover them up, sweep them under the rug, avoid them, medicate them, distract ourselves from them. There are industries built on how NOT to deal with emotions. The ABSOLUTE LAST THING WE NEED is another person or industry telling us to NOT FEEL WHAT WE FEEL.
What we need is help figuring out how to change our relationship with our emotions. They are NOT good or bad. They are just there to give us information. Fear is there to protect us. It serves a purpose.
So when I hear people talking about getting rid of fear or that fear is a choice, I cringe, take a deep breath, and seek to educate.
As “The Fear Whisperer,” my expertise is helping people change their relationship with fear. Fear has a lot to teach us if we will only listen. It can be a catalyst or a crutch.
So is fear a choice? NO. But how you THINK about it and how you REACT to it are.
Are you interested in changing your relationship with fear? I invite you to join me for the 30 Day Get Out of Your Own Damn Way Challenge. You’ll get 30 days of kick-butt support toward taming your fear. Seats are limited. Grabs your today at http://www.krylyn.com/30-day-challenge.
Photo by: Kevin B 3
