The Three Categories of Healing
In a recent article, “Are You (Really) Where You Want to Be,” I shared how what we focus on expands. I left you with some questions to ponder to get some clarity about what you want (did you answer them?). I also told you I would share the three categories of healing that can help you shift your focus and get more of what you want.
But first, let me talk a little bit more what I’ve learned in my journey. I think it’s important for anyone entrusting their healing to me to know who I am and that I, just like you, have had challenges that have seemed insurmountable at times. I believe I’m here to help others along their journey, by not only being an example but also a teacher and coach. So what I love to share about healing is really what I’ve learned about myself, how to feel more balanced, less stressed, and better able to deal with whatever life throws at me.
But it wasn’t always easy to share.
You see, in my family, we didn’t share our secrets. We didn’t share that both my parents were raging alcoholics, or that my mom attempted suicide multiple times, or that even though our family looked perfect on the outside with our suburban, church-going, double income, nuclear family lifestyle, we were severely broken. There was abuse and neglect in my home…but we didn’t talk about it.
Not until my mom’s last suicide attempt in 1995, which was almost successful.
After that, things were never the same. And it began my journey of taking a long, hard look at who I was, where I came from, and what I was meant to do with my life.
Here’s just some of what I learned growing up the way I did – lessons that have helped me heal and have given me insight into how to help others heal. And these lessons can help you too:
- Living in fear and silence takes a HUGE toll on our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
- Loving ourselves is an inside job. No one else dictates your self worth but you.
- Our outer environment is a direct reflection of our inner environment.
- Saying YES to ourselves sometimes means saying NO to others. (And that’s OK!!!)
- Don’t forget to BREATHE!
- What you say shapes how you think, what you feel, what you do, and ultimately who you are.
- Sometimes we’re just not ready to change, and that’s ok (as long as we’re ok with things staying the same).
- Creativity is NECESSARY for overall good health.
- Attitude is everything…and you can change your attitude if you choose to.
As I mentioned in “Are You (Really) Where You Want to Be,” the tools I’ve successfully used for my own healing have also helped my clients…
“…Thank you for sharing your story and journey of self care with us…Your teleseminar helped me to move forward and commit. Very inspiring!”
— Erin K.
“Our first session was a definite breakthrough. I got past the overwhelm and broke things down into manageable steps. Thank you sincerely for that!”
— Karen Willis, Career Coach – Dublin, Ireland
“I wanted to say thank you for such a simple statement that opened my eyes to overcoming my fear that has kept me stuck.”
— Susan K.
“Krylyn was able to pinpoint areas that I wanted to work on and she kept me accountable. Krylyn is honest, compassionate and always professional. Working with Krylyn was an answer to what I was looking for in my sagging confidence.”
— Candice, Crisis Therapist
So what are some of these tools that have helped me and my clients and can help you too? Well, the tools fall into three basic categories, focusing on our:
- Bodies
- Thoughts
- Actions
When we’re stressed out or overwhelmed or stuck or in fear we tend to disconnect from our BODY. We get caught up in our heads, in negative thoughts, in what I call the “thought spiral.” But our body is there to give us information, to protect us, to help us survive. It’s constantly giving us signals. It tells us when we’re hungry, tired, too hot, too cold, in pain, in fear, anxious, etc. But if we’re disconnected, we often miss the signals, so we keep barreling through. We keep doing things that aren’t necessarily good for us. It’s imperative to get re-connected with our body when we’re looking to make any kind of change.
When dealing with our THOUGHTS, we must consciously choose thoughts that will help rather than hurt. Many of us have what are called automatic negative thoughts. Things like “why is this happening TO ME,” or “this always happens,” or “there must be something wrong with me,” or a variety of other thoughts that keep us stuck in not feeling good about ourselves. There are ways to re-program our brains to start thinking more positively. After all, our thoughts help create our reality. Negative thoughts lead to negative feelings, which lead to not-so-helpful actions. Positive thoughts lead to more positive feelings, which lead to more helpful actions. Sounds simple enough!
And then there’s ACTION. Nothing will ever change without action. Period. End of discussion. You cannot get a different result by taking the same action over and over (or no action at all). The good news is that when you take action, no matter how big or small, you are creating movement, momentum, and possibility. Have you ever hear of the ripple (or butterfly) effect? It says that even one small change can have a profound effect on your life and the world around you.
So HOW do you change your connection to your body, your thoughts, and your actions, you may ask? And how do you know when to focus on which category?
In an upcoming article, I’ll share more about when to focus on your body, your thoughts, and your actions. And I’ll give you a tip to use in each of those categories.
Until then, happy healing!
Got a comment to share about the three categories of healing? Leave a comment below…
