Your “Cheat Sheet” for When To Use What Type of Healing Tool

In a recent article, “The Three Categories of Healing,” I shared the three categories of healing: body, thoughts, and actions. But how do you know when to focus on what?

That’s a great question. When we’re stuck, the last thing we want is to guess at what would be most helpful to us. So I’ve created a little “cheat sheet” to figure out what to focus on and when…along with some immediate tips…

Question 1: Are you experiencing physical sensations in your body (or no sensations) that make it difficult to focus on anything else?

If not, move onto question #2

If so, then you MUST reconnect with your body and quiet your mind. Remember I mentioned that we can disconnect from our body and not read its signals? If you are feeling a lot (or nothing at all), it’s a good sign you’re not clued in with exactly what your body is trying to tell you.

HOW do you connect with your body? Breathe! Breathing is one of the best ways to get reconnected with your body. But not just any kind of breathing…conscious breathing. When we’re stressed, we tend to breathe shallow, from our chest. But we want to breathe from the belly to get the best bang for our oxygen buck. Take a moment to put one hand on your belly and the other on your chest. Inhale through your nose and allow your breath to fill your belly like a balloon, noticing the hand on your belly moving away from you. Then exhale through your nose and allow your breath to leave your body, as your belly deflates like a balloon, noticing the hand on your belly moving toward you. The hand on your chest should not move at all. It may take a few tries to get this down. As you breathe, just focus on your belly and your breath.

Question 2: Do you have many thoughts spinning around in your head at once?

If not, move onto question #3

If so, then it’s time to check in with your body and give your brain a rest. You must reconnect with your body and quiet your mind. See HOW in question #1 above.

Question 3: Do you have a lot of negative thoughts about yourself or why things always happen (or don’t happen) to you? Or do you never seem to be happy with whatever circumstance is happening in your life?

If not, move onto question #4

If so, then it’s time for a THOUGHT (aka attitude) adjustment. Not only the specific thoughts we have can keep us stuck, but the actual way we think. Learning to identify the way you think and using ways to turn off the negative thinking can help you start to change.

HOW do you change your thoughts? Affirmations. Using positive statements (aka affirmations) is a fabulous way to shift your mindset from the negative. But there is a trick. You MUST phrase affirmations with positive language AND in the present tense. Remember, what you focus on expands. So any negative language talking about what you DON’T want is exactly what you’ll create more of. Also, if you phrase your affirmation in the future, you are basically saying you’ll have it someday but not now, and that’s probably not want you want either. Here’s some examples of not-so-great affirmations: “I don’t want to be stressed out anymore,” “I would like to be happy and fulfilled.” Instead, try these: “I can handle whatever comes my way,” “I am happy and fulfilled.” You get the idea. If you need more examples, search the internet. There’s tons of good affirmations out there. Once you have a good one for you, post it where you can see it and say it aloud several times a day.

Question 4: Are you tired of feeling stuck in a rut?

If not, congratulations! You are right where you want to be.

If so, it’s time to ACT. Sometimes the only way out is to move. Make a decision. Take some action. And things will change. Maybe not quickly, maybe not exactly the way you anticipated. But the only way to get results is to do something.

HOW do you take action? Do Something (or do something different). Action requires that you do something. You probably already know what you want to do, or “should” do. So make a point to do it. If you have a goal that has a lot of steps, just break it down and take one small step. One tip is to write down your action step on your calendar. Make it official. You might also tell a friend or loved one about your intention so you have someone to be accountable to.

I hope these tips have been useful in helping you determine what to use when you continue along your healing journey.

But there’s another question I’d like to ask you…

When’s the last time you said YES to yourself?

One of the things I see come up time and time again with my clients is this notion that saying yes to yourself is somehow selfish. Yet, healing MUST start with you taking care of yourself.

Let the catch 22 begin…

Here’s a different question:

When’s the last time you said NO to yourself?

Do you ever put your dreams on hold, or change plans, or stop yourself from doing something? Every time you put something off, or put someone else before you when you don’t really need to, you’re saying no to yourself. OUCH!

Sure there are times when others do come first. But overall in your life, are you really making yourself a priority? Or does everything and everyone else come first?

This habit of saying yes to everyone else is really one of saying no to yourself. And whether or not you can see it (and my guess is you can but just don’t want to), it’s taking a HUGE toll on you.

Here’s some subtle (and not so subtle ways) saying yes to others (and no to yourself) can be affecting you:

• Zaps your self esteem as you feel less important than everyone else
• Prevents you from doing something you really love to do
• Traps you into thinking you don’t matter
• Creates resentment, anger, and possibly some passive-aggressive behaviors you may not be terribly proud of

Now if the stuff on the list above is what you really want, then keep doing what you’re doing. But I’m guessing if you could really see how saying yes to everything and everyone else but yourself is affecting you, you’d want to stop immediately. Am I right?

Of course, that can be easier said than done. So where do you start?

By making small changes using tools that really work. Tools like setting boundaries, using positive statements, owning your own value and power, and making a habit of cutting out that which doesn’t serve you. I’ve already been sharing other tips in these last few articles.

But I have SO many more tools in my arsenal that I’d love to share with you…

I’ve put together a bundle of my best tools that have helped me and my clients, and can help YOU too. In an upcoming article, I’ll share an opportunity for you to get access to these tools and to say YES to yourself!

Until then…

Happy healing,

Got a comment to share about these tools and how they worked for you? Leave a comment below…