Finding the Growth in Struggle
“It is okay to be at a place of struggle. Struggle is just another word for growth. Even the most evolved beings find themselves in a place of struggle now and then. In fact, struggle is a sure sign to them that they are expanding; it is their indication of real and important progress. The only one who doesn’t struggle is the one who doesn’t grow. So if you are struggling right now, see it as a terrific sign — and celebrate your struggle.” ~Neale Donald Walsch
There is beauty in struggle.
Now, before you tune me out, start building evidence to the contrary, or yell at your computer screen, take a breath and read on. Please.
I don’t know anyone who has not encountered struggle, hardship, adversity, or whatever you want to call it when things don’t work out as you planned or hoped. I do, however, know plenty of people who let that struggle define them, their identity, their actions, and how they carry themselves in the world. I also know people who have overcome their struggle in such a way that they use it as a springboard to a higher level and to help others get through their own struggles.
I have been in both these groups at various times in my life. And I’m guessing you have too.
The first group can be a place of being stuck, defined by circumstances, negative, drained, having difficulty making decisions, etc. It is a place we ask the question WHY and expect answers that make sense. Why did this happen, why me, why can’t I get over this. The more we focus on why, the more it eludes us and the more the answers don’t make sense. We question ourselves, others, our faith. It can be a scary place.
In my experience as a member of the second group, the group that overcomes, we can go through all the same things as the first group, but then something happens. A shift. An experience. A glimmer. Something that propels us forward out of stuckness. I think that something is as simple as a decision. A decision to be defined on our own terms, not the circumstances we don’t have control over. A decision to look at the situation with a different perspective, such as what we can learn from the experience and teach others from it. A decision to grow.
Keep in mind that staying stuck is also a decision. And sometimes, a good decision at the time. Sometimes we need a break from overwhelming experiences and feelings to be able to feel the ground beneath us again. It’s okay. For a while. It’s when we repeatedly use the struggle as an excuse to stay stuck (or not move forward) that it can really take a toll on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
So, which group are you in today? How about yesterday? And what group will you be in tomorrow or in five minutes? Here’s some things to help you shift from struggle to growth:
- Ask someone else what they think of your situation. Sometimes we are too close to our struggle to see the beauty in it. Ask someone you trust what they think the lessons are in it.
- Journal about it. When my thoughts are jumbled and scattered, journaling helps me just get it all out. Just start writing, paying no attention to spelling, grammar, or sparing anyone’s feelings. Don’t censor yourself.
- Make a list of all the lessons you’ve learned from a past struggle. See if any of those apply to your current struggle.
- Do something different than what you are doing in your stuckness. If you’re sitting, stand up. If you’re thinking too much, do something to take your mind off your thoughts. Do something physical – take a walk, do yoga, ride a bike, etc.
- Do something you love to do. A hobby, an activity, something that brings you joy. For me, this is usually something to do with music – writing a song, improvisational singing in the car as I’m running errands or driving to an appointment, or listening to some music that transports me to a different state of consciousness.
The more you look for the good to come out of something, the more you will see it. Just like any other skill, it just takes some practice. So what beauty will you find today?
Photo: Tree Trunk © by Accretion Disc
