Embrace Your Mistake

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.” ~ Al Franken

Have you ever messed up? Done something wrong? Made a mistake, big or small, that affected not only you, but those around you?

Sure, we all have. But I want to take a moment to encourage you to look at mistakes a little differently than you may have before.

We all can probably get in touch with that feeling of making a mistake from when we were young children. That feeling of being in trouble when we know we’ve been caught or found out. I don’t know anyone who likes that feeling. Some of us learned to fess up and take the punishment. Others learned to lie about it and try to avoid consequences at all costs. Either way, there’s still a mistake that’s been made, and there will be a cost.

What is a mistake, anyway? According to dictionary.com, a mistake is:

1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2. a misunderstanding or misconception.

As children, we’re bound to make mistakes based on poor judgment and reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge and wisdom. It’s inevitable. Kids’ brains aren’t matured enough to know and do better. We make errors, we learn, we move on.

But somewhere along the way, as we grow into adults, we somehow get conditioned to believe that mistakes are unacceptable. We expect perfection instantly and get really impatient and judgmental of ourselves (and sometimes others) when that doesn’t happen. I’m not exactly sure what it is that makes us believe that with age comes infinite wisdom. Just because we have life experience in some areas doesn’t mean we know (or will ever know) everything there is to know about everything and never make errors or have misunderstanding ever again. One only need look at the news about foreign affairs in any part of the world (or go to any family gathering) to realize that misunderstandings and misconceptions are all around us.

I’d like us to think of mistakes in terms of opportunities. If mistakes are made by errors in judgment, then there’s an opportunity to learn about the consequences of our judgment. If we make mistakes based on insufficient knowledge, then there’s an opportunity to get educated. If mistakes come about by misunderstandings or misconceptions, then there’s an opportunity to gain some clarity about another point of view (not that you will necessarily agree with it).

The word MISTAKE is ingrained in us as this horrible, unforgiveable thing. But there is not one person alive who hasn’t made a mistake or will never make another mistake again. It is part of the learning process (aka life). If we can look at mistakes the way they are defined, as errors (which are things to be corrected) and misunderstandings (which are things to be understood), doesn’t that seem like a more gentle, helpful perspective?

Today, I invite you to embrace your mistakes, for they are your teachers and provide opportunities for you to learn and grow.

Photo: My mistakes have a certain logic © by theihno

Haunting Voices – “Sleep”

Eric Whitacre has put together a world-wide virtual choir that he conducts and records. I’ve seen (and heard) a few of his videos but none have touched me as deeply as this one. It is haunting (in a good way). Sleep, dear ones. And Enjoy!

The Effects of a Silenced Voice

How unresolved emotions and traumatic events affect our voices has been a topic of interest for me for a long time. When we are victims of abuse or neglect or witness to such events, our voices can be affected in many ways. We may learn that:

1. it is unsafe (for ourselves and/or others) to speak up about wrongdoings
2. people don’t talk about bad things that happen in our family
3. it is not acceptable to express feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, etc.

For children especially, the mixed messages that often accompany abusive and neglectful situations (in addition to the abuse and neglect itself) leave a long-lasting imprint. People experiencing childhood trauma can grow up to experience:

• Distrust of others
• Low self esteem
• Poor boundaries in relationships (either too clingy or too distant)
• Feelings of unworthiness or self hatred
• Self abusive behaviors, such as:
  • Poor nutrition, exercise, and hygiene habits
  • Not getting enough rest, relaxation, and sleep
  • Addictions – alcohol, prescription medications, illegal drugs, sex, shopping/spending, workaholism, etc.
  • Depression or anxiety
  • Lower threshold for dealing with stress
  • Physical complaints and illness

The good news is that there is power and healing that can come out of the darkest of situations. Finding a way to express ourselves, our emotions and thoughts, and talk about the unspeakable events of our past can be very therapeutic, not only in healing old wounds but also in repairing current and future relationships. For some, using creative ways of expression is extremely beneficial, such as writing, art, music, and dance for example. These creative means can help us by:

• Allowing the expression of painful feelings in a less threatening way than speaking about them
• Giving voice to something that has been silent for a long time
• Helping us see and express what we have been afraid to
• Providing tangible evidence and validation of our experience

I have found such healing through the process of songwriting. And I enjoy helping others do the same.

Whatever way you choose to find your voice again that has been silenced, know that your journey will be filled with ups and downs. Remember though to take frequent stock of where you have been and where you are now, and celebrate the successes you have had along the way.

Cheers to Finding Your Voice again!

And if you’d like to learn how to use music, sound, and songwriting for healing, please join me for my upcoming Songwriting Therapy 101 class. Learn more here.

Photo: shh © by Inubleachanimefan

Building Creative Confidence

Designer David Kelley talks about creativity as something we all possess. In this TED talk, he shares some of his ideas about the importance of building creative confidence which somehow gets lost along the way. Enjoy!

Getting Unplugged: The Gift of Taking a Break from Technology

I love technology. I love how it allows me to create things I wouldn’t otherwise be able to do. How it inspires, influences, and changes things for the better. But with every good thing, every good benefit, there comes a price.

That price peeks out every time I cringe when the phone rings, or an alert comes up telling me I have a new email and interrupts my train of thought, or my computer freezes and loses a few hours worth of work. Technology can be a good thing. But it can also be a distraction and a burden.

Recently I had the opportunity to step away from technology. I was on vacation and while I had my laptop with me, I wasn’t able to do much because it is so ancient and has limitations that prevent me from doing much other than word processing. It was a little uncomfortable at first – withdrawals kicking in of not being able to check email – but I quickly was able to adjust. And you know what? I survived. Instead of checking email 50+ times a day, I sat in silence, let my mind slow down, watched what was going on around me, was present with friends and with nature.

Now back into the full swing of my life, I am remembering how good it felt to have some freedom from technology and I’m better able to step away. I came back to find only a handful of emails that were truly important, and nothing that needed any immediate attention.

How has technology affected your life – both good and bad? What would life be like if you stepped away from technology for a month, a week, a day, or even a couple hours? Might be worth a try.

I’d love to hear about your break from technology. Leave a comment below.

Photo: Plug © by Samuel M. Livingston

3 Ways to Increase Your Creativity

You are creative, really! It’s true. No matter how hard you try to fight it or deny it, you do have at least one creative bone in your body. How do I know? Because I happen to believe everyone is creative.

Before you dig deep into your reasons why you aren’t creative, hear me out.

Creativity is simply about making something new and useful. It’s also about solving everyday problems. Do you have problems? Have you ever solved a problem? Then I contend you are creative. Because it takes creativity to solve problems.

What happens is that our creativity gets buried under all those reasons why we aren’t creative. Reasons like:

• Negative (Stinkin’) Thinking. Our thoughts can really play a number on us. Thoughts like what you SHOULD or SHOULDN’T do, or that there’s only ONE WAY to do things, or that you’re not good enough. The truth is our thoughts can betray us and get us to believe we aren’t creative.
• Negative Feelings. The biggest emotion that can get in the way of our creativity is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of success. Fear of making a mistake. Fear affects our ability to take risks and try new things.
• Lack of Support or Encouragement. Some of us have come across people who don’t really support us, or may even discourage us from following what we want to do in life. If we listen to them, we might believe we’re not creative, or not worthy of following our dreams or passions (which is where creativity lives).

So what can we do to get back in touch with our creativity? Here’s some suggestions:

1. Make just ONE small change in what you do. It could be as small as setting your alarm for 15 minutes earlier in the day to allow yourself some extra me-time.
2. Ask yourself “What if” and start to really listen to the answer. What if you did that one thing you’ve been afraid to do? What if you looked for a new job? What if you made that change, or took that class, or told that person something you’ve longed to say? Live in the possibility, not in the fear.
3. Simply try something new. Check off something from your list that you WANT to do but have kept putting off.

The more you exercise your creative muscles by doing things like the suggestions above, the more creative you’ll feel (and be).

For more ideas on how to get your creative juices flowing, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Thinking Outside the Box: Using Creativity to Be a Better You.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/thinking-outside-the-box, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.
Photo: Light Bulb © by olga.belobaba