The Effects of a Silenced Voice

How unresolved emotions and traumatic events affect our voices has been a topic of interest for me for a long time. When we are victims of abuse or neglect or witness to such events, our voices can be affected in many ways. We may learn that:

1. it is unsafe (for ourselves and/or others) to speak up about wrongdoings
2. people don’t talk about bad things that happen in our family
3. it is not acceptable to express feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, etc.

For children especially, the mixed messages that often accompany abusive and neglectful situations (in addition to the abuse and neglect itself) leave a long-lasting imprint. People experiencing childhood trauma can grow up to experience:

• Distrust of others
• Low self esteem
• Poor boundaries in relationships (either too clingy or too distant)
• Feelings of unworthiness or self hatred
• Self abusive behaviors, such as:
  • Poor nutrition, exercise, and hygiene habits
  • Not getting enough rest, relaxation, and sleep
  • Addictions – alcohol, prescription medications, illegal drugs, sex, shopping/spending, workaholism, etc.
  • Depression or anxiety
  • Lower threshold for dealing with stress
  • Physical complaints and illness

The good news is that there is power and healing that can come out of the darkest of situations. Finding a way to express ourselves, our emotions and thoughts, and talk about the unspeakable events of our past can be very therapeutic, not only in healing old wounds but also in repairing current and future relationships. For some, using creative ways of expression is extremely beneficial, such as writing, art, music, and dance for example. These creative means can help us by:

• Allowing the expression of painful feelings in a less threatening way than speaking about them
• Giving voice to something that has been silent for a long time
• Helping us see and express what we have been afraid to
• Providing tangible evidence and validation of our experience

I have found such healing through the process of songwriting. And I enjoy helping others do the same.

Whatever way you choose to find your voice again that has been silenced, know that your journey will be filled with ups and downs. Remember though to take frequent stock of where you have been and where you are now, and celebrate the successes you have had along the way.

Cheers to Finding Your Voice again!

And if you’d like to learn how to use music, sound, and songwriting for healing, please join me for my upcoming Songwriting Therapy 101 class. Learn more here.

Photo: shh © by Inubleachanimefan