Finding Jomo: The Joy of Missing Out by Philip Dhingra

Guest Post by Philip Dhingra

I got out of my own damn way lately after two meditation-related coincidences during a stressful time for me. The first one is this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book How to Sit:

Non-action is already something. There are people who don’t seem to do very much, but their presence is crucial for the well-being of the world. You may know people like this, who are steady, not always busy doing things, not making a lot of money, or being engaged in a lot of projects, but who are very important to you; the quality of their presence makes them truly available. They are contributing non-action, the high quality of their presence. To be in the here and the now—solid and fully alive—is a very positive contribution to our collective situation.

This quote came at the perfect time, which is nearly every March in Austin, TX, during the SXSW Festival. The city turns into a zoo, not just because of all the festival-goers, but because Spring is one of the most beautiful times to be here. Everybody wants to throw events in March.

I frequently get so much “FOMO” (fear of missing out), that I exhaust myself stacking social activity after social activity, thinking by doing more, I’m doing better. This year was not much different than the last. And then after one of my meditation sessions, and after reading that quote from Thich Nhat Hanh, the thought occurred to me, “Why do I have to keep doing stuff?”

And then by coincidence, my friend Lydia Sadoudi introduced me to her own concept, “JOMO” (JOY of missing out), and I just stopped going out. I started reading more classic novels like Anna Karenina, and I spent more time lying on the floor with big headphones listening to new albums. And lo and behold, after easing up for a couple weeks, I felt more present in the fewer social activities I had. Who would of thought, that by taking care of yourself, you become better taking care of others?

What I love about the “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way” philosophy is that it’s self-improvement by subtraction, not addition. This is the best kind of self-improvement, and I should know, because my latest book Dear Hannah is a cautionary tale about self-improvement. The book has a happy ending though, as I discover books on meditation, which is the ultimate in non-self-improvement self-improvement.

Methods, hacks, tips, tricks, programs, and systems. These are all forms of activity, often peddled by self-improvement to try to get you from A to B. But oftentimes, the fastest way to get there is by doing nothing, and then realizing you’re already there.

ABOUT THIS GUEST: Philip Dhingra is an app developer from Austin, Texas. He created The Creative Whack Pack for iOS, which he collaborated on with creativity legend Roger von Oech. He also writes books, and his latest one, Dear Hannah, is a cautionary tale about self-improvement. In it he recounts 70 self-help books and methods he used over 16 years to change who he is. The results may surprise you. dearhannahbook.com

Listen to Philip’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.

How Taking Responsibility Will Change Your Life by Kathryn Eggins

Guest Post by Kathryn Eggins

The circumstances we find ourselves in can seem to be beyond our control, but we’re more in control of our lives than we give ourselves credit for.

We hear and experience so much negativity growing up that it’s no wonder we look for the negative when we’re older. It becomes second nature and we stand in our own way.

We start to complain and blame everything and everyone else for the course of our life. We make decisions based upon our life experiences.

Regardless of whether it’s our health, relationships, employment or any other part of our life, we’re taught that life is tough and that everything must be hard.

So, we make everything difficult.

We say we don’t enjoy it, but it becomes our comfort zone. We dream of what our ideal life looks like yet most people don’t take the steps required to change their life because it means stepping outside our comfort zone.

But imagine if you did…

What if you took 100% complete responsibility for your life? What does that look like?

• If you were in pain, you would seek help to find the right exercises to strengthen your body
• You would take steps to learn about food and to create the right mindset to be well
• If didn’t like your job, you would take steps to find a new one
• If you weren’t earning enough, you would take steps to change that
• If you had a difficult relationship you would stop trying to change the other person and ask yourself what you could change about yourself to improve the relationship or decide whether the relationship was even right for you
• You’d learn to say no
• If you weren’t happy with the state of your health, you’d stop thinking like a sick person and take steps to become well again

The list is endless.

It means accepting you’re responsible for the state of your life and if you aren’t happy with something, it’s your responsibility to change it.

But, where do you start?

With your self-worth and self-love.

Feeling worthy of a good life can difficult if you haven’t felt that way before but you can take steps to change that –

Affirmations – Create affirmations that reflect how you need to see yourself. Not sure where to start? Start with ‘I AM Worthy’. Write it down, put it where you can see it and say it every time you see it, with conviction.

Gratitude – We’re bombarded with as much positivity as we are negativity each day. Notice the beauty and the good things in life. Let your heart radiate with gratitude.

Meditation – Sit for a few moments and concentrate only on your breathing, feel the soap suds while you’re washing the dishes or color in; meditation comes in all shapes and forms. Take some time out, give your mind a rest and be open to the bigger picture.

Taking 100% responsibility for your life gives you back your personal power and will change your life forever.

ABOUT THIS GUEST: Kathryn is a Transformational Wellness Coach. She incorporates her training as an Inspired Spirit Law of Attraction Life Coach and a Personal Trainer to help women take control of their life, feel great and live life on their terms. In 1991 she was diagnosed with stage-four endometriosis and was in and out of surgery for 18 years until she realized it was all emotional and that she actually enjoyed being sick. In 2009 she decided to get out of her own damn way and healed her body using the Law of Attraction and taking responsibility for her life. www.happyactivewell.com

Listen to Kathryn’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.

3 Steps That Help You Take Charge of Your Internal Business & Live a More Fulfilling Life by Barbara Iuliano

Guest Post by Barbara Iuliano

Getting out of your own damn way is one slice of the cake, if you want the legendary cherry, you’ve got to get others out of the way too.

Sabotage, toxicity, and self-doubt were my trustworthy associates. My extreme insecurities constantly met their payroll demands so they stayed for longer than they should of. Almost getting used to having such detrimental employees, I realized that my inner business was burning to ashes.

When something doesn’t work for you, it works against you. Even though it took me a long time to fire these three partners, once I realized my inner and outer operations where worth much more, it became a simple and aligned task.

Every once in a while they come back asking for their jobs, but I filled their positions with self-love, self-belief, and self-respect. Three employees that I make sure get constant bonuses and feel at home while they work with me.

The thing is, to get to this level of business, we have to do a lot of work on our own. Work that at first feels unrewarding, unfulfilling, and borderline impossible.

So how do we take charge of our inner empire?

Everyone will face a different journey and encounter distinct obstacles; however, I believe that if you follow these 3 steps there is no way that your inner institution will not begin to shift.

Get The Right Kind of Support!

Friends and family are great but they may not have the training or awareness to help you move past the emotional turmoil. Sometimes they may even bring you down or hurt you more. If you are ready to do so, look for a good coach to assist you with your confidence. A lot of them offer complimentary sessions so try a few out to find one that meets your needs and style.

Don’t Be Afraid to Kick People Out

You’ll never be able to let go of your internally damaging associates if you don’t let go of your real life harmful friends, family members, partners, or co-workers. Some people will just continue to bring you down because they have their own issues and insecurities. It is your right to decide who you allow into your life and who you don’t.

Do One Thing You Don’t Believe You Can Do     

Don’t be afraid to prove yourself wrong every month. Start small and work your way up. If you don’t think you can cook, find a basic recipe and make it. If you you don’t believe you can run, start by walking and consecutively speeding your legs up. Every time you do something you didn’t think possible, you gain leadership back within your own inner establishment.

There was a point of my life where I knew that if I wanted to believe in myself and be happy then I had to do these three things. I cut off destructive relationship, I proved myself I could do things I thought I couldn’t, and eventually when the time was opportune I got support. This is how I ended up with not just my cherry on top, but a whole bakery where I roast personal fulfillment and satisfaction on the daily.

ABOUT THIS GUEST: Barbara Iuliano is a certified life and confidence coach, currently studying Mind-Body Transformational Psychology at the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts. As the founder of her coaching practice Starland Coaching, Barbara empowers women like herself to lead the lives they always dreamed of but never thought possible. She recently embarked on a mission to help female entrepreneurs get confident in front of the camera. In her new challenge, The Art of Video Confidence, she helps them bust through insecurities, deal with critics, and overcome perfectionism and procrastination. www.starlandcoaching.com

Listen to Barbara’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.

5 Questions to Ask to Help You Break Through Your Comfort Zone by Kate Wan

Guest Post by Kate Wan

I stand on the edge, not knowing if I am shivering from the cold or the fear. There is only one way down from here and I can literally feel my feet and legs shaking in my ski boots. I can feel my heart racing, thumping through my chest. My palms are sweating and the self-talk in my head is buzzing, “who do you think you are?”, “I’m not good enough,” “You’ll never be able to do it.” I want to jump but to say I am a little nervous would be an understatement.

I decide to do it….

I jump…

When we talk about being outside our comfort zone we all have different ideas of what this means. For some it is building up the courage to talk to that girl, putting their hand up for that big promotion, speaking in public or deciding to make a life change, or simply telling the truth.

When I think of being outside my comfort zone I think of this…I think of standing at the top of a mountain full of fresh powder, at the top of a run – maybe it’s full of trees or moguls, it always appears incredibly steep and yet I always chose to take the leap.

I have had these feelings of fear many times in my life; going to a new school as a teenager, traveling overseas for the first time, stepping up to grow my business, or the time I got to fly a plane or jump out of one, to when I have dived with sharks or been in an inflatable zodiac boat in the icy Antarctic waters looking for a humpback whale, only to look down and see it’s eye ball staring up at us as it glided effortlessly under our boat.

Sometimes it is having the courage to watch my children as they do that ski run ahead of me.

As Brene Brown says “you can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability” and I know that every time I have gone to step out of my comfort zone, I have found my raw self, sitting there feeling vulnerable.

The Cambridge dictionary defines comfort zone as “A situation in which you feel comfortable and in which your ability and determination are not being tested.”

Don’t get me wrong – one of my favorite things to do is to sit on my lounge with a glass of wine in my hand, watching a movie with my family. I also need this in my life, it is easy, safe and comfortable to be relaxed and surrounded by my loved ones.

Maybe it is a result of turning 40 this year, but I find myself looking inward, curious as to why I keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone? I am not an adrenaline junkie; it is somehow deeper than that. The truth is, that when I step outside of my comfort zone, I am learning new things, living life to the fullest, experiencing something exciting, knowing that when I move past the fear, that is where the magic happens.

5 Questions to Ask to Help You Break Through Your Comfort Zone.

1. Am I hesitating on doing this because it is “wrong” or because I have fear?

Sometimes when we get that funny feeling in our stomach it is our instincts, but other times it is nerves. If it is nerves, maybe this is something worth trying.

2. When I am old or on my deathbed, will I look back and wish I had lived life more to the full?

This is a reminder that we should not wait on “tomorrow” or “someday,” to do what we desire. Today, in the moment, holds the best and most definitive time to do a thing.

3. What is important about doing this? Why am I doing it?

The reason behind doing something is the ultimate motivator – or sometimes it’s the warning bell saying not to do it.

4. How will you feel when you have done this?

Is the reward worth it? If you can imagine feelings of pride and accomplishment maybe it is worth a shot.

5. If you still cannot decide, think of someone you admire and respect. Ask yourself what you admire about that person – what advice do you think they would give you in this situation?

This question sometimes helps me see the forest from the trees – to remove the cloud of emotion and find the best path forward.

So, next time you find yourself sitting on the edge of a decision with your palms sweating and your knees shaking, I hope you choose to live life to the fullest and to step up and be the best version of yourself.

If you are interested in finding out how to live a more courageous life and achieve your goals, click here  to receive our FREE Action Guide with strategies I share with my high end coaching clients.

ABOUT THIS GUEST:  With over 15 years behind her, Kate has been a leading businesswoman worldwide. She has worked in four countries and has dominated in her role—opening multiple businesses with responsibilities including managing profitability, recruiting, mentoring, coaching and training. Kate has also organized, facilitated or spoken at over 50 speaking engagements, conferences, seminars and meetings in a year. With some of these events pushing the 1,000’s mark, held around the world. Be there five participants or 500 Kate comes with the same action packed methods to increase your productivity and equip you with the skills to inspire yourself and others to step up and be a leader who is “courageously real”. tradesecretsconsultants.com

Listen to Kate’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.

You Are the Way by Elyse Hughes

Guest Post by Elyse Hughes

Ever felt imprisoned by your own insistence to self-sabotage?

There have been times where I’ve looked up from my life and everything in it has been a distraction, self-imposed obstacle, addiction or belief to keep me headed in the opposite direction of my truth.

My behaviors kept me small. Hidden. Miserable. Stuck. Denying my true purpose. Cutting myself off from the world and running from the one person who needed the most love and support . . .

ME.

The self-sabotage really worked! It sheltered me from all the pain, frustration, confusion, depression, hopelessness and struggle that I’ve weathered as someone who’s chosen to fully live my purpose. To go all-in on my dreams. Quit jobs. Make irrational decisions guided by my heart.

Believing in myself has been hard. The hardest thing I’ve ever freaking done. Showing up for myself everyday and moving forward no matter what, giving myself credit . . . well, it’s taken more SelfLove and gusto than I knew I had.

And damn, it’s been amazing. A downright Miracle.

When it comes to Getting Out Of Your Own Damn Way, this quote from Willie Jolley says it all:

“It’s painful either way.”

When I was trapped in a body on fire, covered in red, flaky, itchy as hell psoriasis – it was excruciating. When I hated myself so much I had to get wasted every night to numb the reality I created – it was exhausting. When I couldn’t get through a day without at least 1 pack of cigarettes down the chute – it felt hopeless.

Every SelfLoving choice I’ve had to make since, has been Uncomfortable. New. Exciting. Scary. Painful.

And So Worth It.

I got down with the fact that I’m Worth It. And guess what? So Are You.

One of my fave spiritual guides, Matt Kahn said, “Our job is not to get out of our own way. Our job is to realize we are our own way.”

Embracing that can be absolutely terrifying. It’s not easy. It’s a process.

Bottom Line: You’re So Worth It.

Dare to be your own way. Step into your destined path. Walk with purpose. Express your being. Create your life.

Jim Carey tells a story about how his family became destitute at a time when his dad was fired from a job he didn’t even like anyway. After seeing the unfulfilling path his father chose in the name of “safety” get shattered to bits, he decided, “You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”

Follow Your Happy and never look back.

lotsa love ~elyse

ABOUT THIS GUEST: Elyse Hughes is a TEDx Speaker, Writer and #HolisticJunkie that eases the process of lifestyle transformation. After healing herself of a debilitating skin condition and losing over 100 pounds through diet, she shares a message of converting addictions into SelfLove. With a thriving community on live platforms like Periscope, she simplifies health, making it doable, fun and lasting. www.elysehughes.com

Listen to Elyse’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.

Lunar Business Success by Monique Alamedine

Guest Post by Monique Alamedine

Do you know what the #1 productivity tool is, that’s FREE and staring you in the face right now?

Believe me when I tell you the moon is an untapped resource which so many Entrepreneurs are missing out on.  It’s predictable AND consistent – two important things you need as a solid base for your business.

Tired of constantly pushing to ‘make shit happen’, I was getting a sense that there was a better way of doing things. Nature was calling me back into it’s loving arms, and I was struggling to find a way to maintain my edge, while still being in flow.

I started feeling a pull to connect more with the moon, which was quite frankly the most amazing discovery.

Re-connecting felt like the most natural transition.

Glorious. Divine. Real – yet – Tangible. Solid.

Now you may think with all this moon talk that I’m a softly spoken hippy – think again.

Whilst I love the divine feminine energy, I’m far from being softly spoken and living in flowing dresses. It’s taken me years to realize that femininity comes in different packages and aligning with the moon has allowed the perfect blend of masculine and feminine energy to come together beautifully.

Tapping Into This Ancient Wisdom Ensures You Maintain Your Business Groove.

The two more commonly known phases are new and full moon.

New moon is perfect for setting your intentions for the month, as well as starting new projects.

Full Moon is the time to release what’s no longer serving you, and reap what you’ve sown.

The first half is about the doing i.e. Putting yourself out there, marketing, hustling, with the second half allowing time for reflection.

There are 8 phases of the moon cycle, with each representing a different focus & action :

1. New Moon
2. Waxing Crescent
3. First Quarter
4. Waxing Gibbous
5. Full Moon
6. Disseminating
7. Third Quarter
8. Balsamic

It takes the moon 29.5 days to orbit the Earth, hence why it’s an awesome goal-setting process with little check points on the way to hit your yearly goals.

I was drawn into La Luna’s magic through intuition, and if you’re feeling the same pull then start by going outside every night and moon-bathing.

Notice what phase she’s going through, and journal your thoughts and feelings.

The next new moon is on the 9th March (Southern Hemisphere) and it’s a super moon. This is when it’s at the closest point to earth during a new or full moon. She’s going to look bigger and brighter to us at this point so soak up the magic in all her glory.

Be sure to take the time to write your intentions down somewhere you can refer back to.

It’s a Pisces New moon which is the perfect time to re-connect spirit and business.

Think about how you can shift the energy in your business?

It’s time to put yourself out there, and accept that you may never fit in anywhere and that’s not a negative thing.

I created Zen Hustler because I just couldn’t find a place I belonged. I’m a multi-passionate, ambivert, spiritual, woo-woo badass, with the spirit of a hustler and the heart of a fairy. Pretty confusing huh.

If you can’t find what you want – create it.

Use the energy of this moon to re-configure all the parts of yourself scattered around, by accepting, loving and integrating the essence of YOU.

ABOUT THIS GUEST: Monique a Zen Hustle Mentor + Intuitive Biz Coach to ballsy soul-fuelled + heart-driven entrepreneurial women, who want to build a biz that ignites passion to entice profit. She helps blend hustle + flow using a mix of Ancient Wisdom, strategy & badassery. When she’s not writing or coaching, you’ll most likely find her drinking herbal tea through a Glass Straw, trying to hula hoop & dreaming of ways to inject more sparkle & love as she hustles about her day.ZenHustler.com

Listen to Monique’s Get Out of Your Own Damn Way podcast interview HERE.