How to Celebrate Mother’s Day When You Don’t Have a Mother

Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate and honor mothers. Thank them for what they have done – the support they have given and the unconditional love they have offered. But what do you do if you don’t have a mother?

We all have different circumstances. Some of us don’t identify as having a mother for any number of reasons:

• We were adopted or raised by someone other than our biological mother.
• Our mother is mentally ill, addicted to alcohol or drugs, or cognitively impaired in some way.
• Our mother is deceased.
• Our mother was less the idealized version of the mother portrayed in advertisements designed to commercialize the holiday and sell stuff and more like someone you must keep at arm’s length to have any sense of sanity and inner peace.

Whatever the reason, if you don’t identify as having a mother figure in your life, Mother’s Day can be a challenge. It can bring up the pain of not having the mother you wanted and deserved, or bring up memories of a mother who is no longer here.

Just like with any holiday, you have a choice of how you will celebrate. While popular culture would have you believing Mother’s Day is about buying flowers and other gifts for someone you should be indebted to, the real idea behind the holiday is about appreciation for someone who has provided unconditional love and/or support. Despite popular belief, mothers don’t have a monopoly on that job.

Think about the people in your life (past or present) who have:

• Provided words of wisdom and encouragement
• Lended an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on
• Accepted you for who you are without judgment
• Been your biggest fan and cheerleader
• Held you up when you were too weak to stand on your own

This Mother’s Day, think of the people who have really been there for you. That list may or may not include your actual mother. Whether it does or not, take the time to thank and honor these people in your own special way. You don’t have to have a mother to be grateful for unconditional love and support.

Photo: Bouquet Bokeh © by John-Morgan

Support Vs. Sabotage: How to Tell if Your Support System is Truly Supportive

“Avoid him who talks sweetly before you but tries to ruin you behind your back, for he is like a pitcher of poison with milk on top.” ~ Chanakya

If you’ve ever had a struggle and overcome it, you know that growth doesn’t just happen without some growing pains. We might be able to practice some great self care rituals, get some good routines going, but then get side-tracked because of how our journey is affecting others.

In other words, when you start to make some positive changes, people around you may not be as excited as you and start to do things that pull you back into old patterns and habits. Sound familiar? When making any kind of change in your life, it’s helpful to have support from those around you. But when what you get is sabotage and not support, it can really do a number on your progress, not to mention your self esteem.

But how can you tell the difference between someone who is truly supportive and someone who claims to be supportive but is really doing everything they can to keep you right where you’re at? Here’s some clues:

It may be a difficult pill to swallow to realize the people you’ve counted on in your life aren’t truly supportive of your growth, but it’s important to identify and either eliminate or reduce your contact with saboteurs if you are serious about moving forward and making positive changes.

For more ideas on how to get the support you need and deserve, please join me for my next monthly FREE Telseminar, “Getting Over the Good Girl Syndrome: Learning to Say No.” Simply go to the REGISTRATION page at https://krylyn.com/free-teleseminars/getting-over-the-good-girl-syndrome, and enter your name and email to get signed up. Even if you can’t attend the live call, you will get access to the recording of the call, but only if you register.

Photo: Promise? © by discoodoni

Give, and then Give Some More – Making the Most of Your Relationships

What are you doing to make the most important relationships in your life be all they can be? Enjoy this 3 minute movie, The 100/0 Principle which shares the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others.