Gratitude Journal: Day 1

Happy November 1^st. This is my absolute favorite month. I love the season, the cool weather, and the buzz in the air of the upcoming holiday season. It’s electric. And not only is Thanksgiving my absolute favorite holiday, but my birthday also falls in this glorious month.

So I’ve decided to not only pay homage, but also practice what I preach. This wonderful month of November, I plan to write daily posts with my gratitudes. It’s an exercise in looking at the positive, rather than focusing on the negative. Because what you focus on helps create your reality, and I sure could stand to create some more positivity in my life right now, how about you?

Here goes, day #1…

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to share my journey with others. I know from past experience how powerful it can be to show my vulnerability – not only for myself but for others.  Even though it can be scary to open myself up in this way, I know I am safe, protected, and loved. I welcome this journey with open arms and hope that by sharing myself in this way, others are able to share themselves in ways that are beneficial for them and those around them.

Won’t you join me? Feel free to share your gratitudes by posting a comment below. Also, please join me for this month’s FREE telemseminar, “Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude (And Melt That Negativity Away).” Click here for all the details.

Photo: be thankful © by rustiqueart

Using the Fear Factor To Your Advantage

I’ve written and talked a lot about fear in the past month. Fear seems to be permeating every decision I’m in the process of making both personally and professionally. It shows up in sessions with my clients talking about their own fear of change. It makes its way into conversations with friends and colleagues. It’s everywhere. In short, fear is a common experience, and one that affects everything we do.

If you listened in on my October teleseminar, “What Haunts You: Facing the (Not So) Scary Truth About What Keeps You Stuck,” then you know all about my philosophy of fear as just a signal to tell us to make adjustments and move forward. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? But putting it into practice can be a challenge. It’s not just about making a decision one time to move through fear. It’s about making a commitment to not allow fear dictate what you do, what you think, and how you live your life.

Let’s break it down a little. Fear is the most basic human emotion. It stems from the earliest humans and their instinct to survive, which means it’s engrained in us – this survival instinct – and part of our DNA. It was born out of the desire to avoid a larger, faster animal eating you as a means to its own survival. When we think our survival is being threatened, we react accordingly:

• Fight: attacking that which threatens our survival.
• Flight: running away from that which threatens our survival.

But survival today means something totally different than it did a million years ago. It is rare that our survival (i.e. life) is truly threatened, but many of us still act in ways as if it were. Today, survival is less about our physical safety and more about our emotional safety. We can feel threatened by things like criticism, judgment, and rejection, which affect our self-esteem and ability to trust ourselves to make good, healthy choices. We might react by:

• Verbally lashing out at someone who says something we perceive as negative (the old “fight” response)
• Ignoring what someone does or says that is critical, pretending like it didn’t happen or that it doesn’t bother us (the old “flight” response)

The more we engage in these types of behaviors, the less energy we have to engage in healthier ones, to focus on what we really want and what really matters to us. As I often say, what we focus on creates our reality.

So what are you willing to focus on? Attack, avoidance, or something more productive? I know it is possible to feel fear and move forward at the same time. I’ve done it. And I’ll be sharing more of my thoughts on this and my own experience. In the meantime, what is YOUR story of feeling fear and moving forward anyway? Please share by leaving a comment below.

Photo: Dinosaur © by InfoMofo

8 Halloween Songs to Get You in the “Spirit”

Ready to add that extra fear factor (or fun factor depending on how you look at it) to your Halloween celebration? Enjoy 8 of my favorite songs to get you in the “spirit.” Muwa-ha-ha-ha- ha!!!

1. Thriller by Michael Jackson

2. Monster Mash by Bobby Pickett

3. Ghostbusters by Ray Parker, Jr.

4. Superstition by Stevie Wonder

5. This is Halloween from The Nightmare Before Christmas

6. Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show

7. I Put A Spell on You by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins

8. I’m Your Boogie Man by KC and the Sunshine Band

Turn That Attitude Into One of Gratitude

Do the terms “Debbie Downer” or “Negative Nelly” describe you a little too well these days? Life has its ups and downs for sure. But sometimes we can get stuck in the down swing, only seeing the negative side of things.

We can get so focused on what we don’t have, what we don’t like, and what we can’t quite seem to grasp. And when we’re so focused on all that stuff, there’s not room for much else, like what IS working well (and there’s ALWAYS something that is working).

If you’re ready to turn that negativity upside down, please join me for the November FREE Teleseminar…“Turn That Attitude into One of Gratitude (and Melt That Negativity Away).”

In this teleseminar, I’ll cover:

• Why Attitude Really is Everything
• What Drives Your Attitude
• How to Turn Negativity Upside Down

Don’t delay. Sign up today. The live call is coming soon. But don’t worry, if you can’t attend live, you can still sign up and get access to the recording. Simply go to the REGISTRATION page and enter your name and email to get signed up.

Who Do You Want to Be?

Who do you want to be? A question asked at this time of year as people young and old (and not-so-old) gear up for a day of transforming themselves for Halloween. Zombies, princesses, vampires, pirates, gypsies, clowns, witches, superheroes, and all sorts of other creatures and characters emerge to celebrate on this day. I’m guessing some people spend more time planning who they want to be for Halloween, costume and demeanor, than they do planning who they truly want to be in their own lives.

Maybe it’s because we’re afraid to take a really hard look at ourselves. Maybe we aren’t happy with the way things currently are. Or maybe we’re going through some tough times and just don’t have the energy to focus on ourselves. There doesn’t ever seem to be a shortage of reasons (or excuses) to not focus on ourselves, does there? But when we avoid asking ourselves the question “who do I want to be” we’re missing a tremendous opportunity to shape ourselves, to make changes, and to live the life we’re meant to live.

When I talk about who we are and who we want to be, I’m talking about on the inside – personality and character traits, how we feel about ourselves, and the way others would describe us. Things like:

• Honest
• Kind
• Gracious
• Compassionate
• Empathic
• Considerate
• Giving
• Friendly
• Helpful
• Zealous
• Courageous
• Passionate
• Tactful
• Sensitive (to name just a few)

While we may have moments of not being our best selves, chances are we have more moments of being the way we want to be than we realize. We tend to focus on our missteps (rather than our successes), and then mistakenly believe those smaller moments as true in describing who we are. Just because you do one thing that is dishonest doesn’t mean you are a dishonest person. Just because you say one thing that is hurtful doesn’t mean you are an unkind person. It just means you did one thing not in line with who you are.

Have you ever really stopped to think about who you truly are inside or how you would describe yourself? Or who you want to become? Whether you have or not, here’s your opportunity to do it or to remind yourself. Here’s some tips on how:

• Take a moment to think about all the wonderful characteristics you posses (or want to posses). Think of examples and experiences when you were able to show who you truly are. You might also think of ways you could show who you want to be.
• Then write them down, including specific examples of how you showed (or would show) who you are. Include as many details as you can (who was or would be involved, what were you or would you be doing, how did you or would you feel about yourself, etc.).
• Keep these stories of proof of who you are or who you want to be close by to remind you in times when you are feeling less than your ideal self.
• The best way to transform into who you want to be is to act accordingly. Take small action steps. Think of what a compassionate person would do or someone who is courageous or gracious (or whatever characteristic you wish you had more of). Then do it.

Sure it’s fun to pretend and dress up, taking on a new persona, and taking a vacation from who you really are. But just imagine if you put the same amount of thought, focus, and attention on yourself throughout the year. Who would YOU be?

Photo: Halloween niños 2011 © by gaudiramone

Dyer on Living with Passion

Dr. Wayne Dyer’s phrase “Don’t die with your music still in you” is one of my favorites. Here is a short video of him discussing how this phrase came about and how to capture the spirit of living with passion and a sense of purpose. Enjoy!