Going the Extra Mile (Taking Life from Good to Extraordinary)

Have you ever fallen into the trap of doing just enough to get by? Afraid (or too tired) to push yourself just one smidge further to go from good to great? Sure it’s easy to fall into this trap. But just imagine. Imagine what life would be like if you went one step beyond what you thought you could do. One more ounce of sweat, tears, or perseverance.  “To get what we’ve never had, we must do what we’ve never done.” Enjoy this little movie about going that extra step.

Celebrating Memorial Day

Memorial Day. A day to remember those who are no longer with us. While this day was originally meant to honor soldiers who lost their lives, it has come to be a day of remembering people close to us (military or not) who have passed on. Some of us choose to spend this time in thoughts of our loved ones. Others choose to enjoy it as a day off.

However you decide to spend this day, be sure to take good care of yourself. Practice at least one good self care strategy today. Remember that YOU are important too and worth honoring today (and every day).

Photo: American Flag © by John Drake Flickr

Finding the Growth in Struggle

“It is okay to be at a place of struggle. Struggle is just another word for growth. Even the most evolved beings find themselves in a place of struggle now and then. In fact, struggle is a sure sign to them that they are expanding; it is their indication of real and important progress. The only one who doesn’t struggle is the one who doesn’t grow. So if you are struggling right now, see it as a terrific sign — and celebrate your struggle.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

There is beauty in struggle.

Now, before you tune me out, start building evidence to the contrary, or yell at your computer screen, take a breath and read on. Please.

I don’t know anyone who has not encountered struggle, hardship, adversity, or whatever you want to call it when things don’t work out as you planned or hoped. I do, however, know plenty of people who let that struggle define them, their identity, their actions, and how they carry themselves in the world. I also know people who have overcome their struggle in such a way that they use it as a springboard to a higher level and to help others get through their own struggles.

I have been in both these groups at various times in my life. And I’m guessing you have too.

The first group can be a place of being stuck, defined by circumstances, negative, drained, having difficulty making decisions, etc. It is a place we ask the question WHY and expect answers that make sense. Why did this happen, why me, why can’t I get over this. The more we focus on why, the more it eludes us and the more the answers don’t make sense. We question ourselves, others, our faith. It can be a scary place.

In my experience as a member of the second group, the group that overcomes, we can go through all the same things as the first group, but then something happens. A shift. An experience. A glimmer. Something that propels us forward out of stuckness. I think that something is as simple as a decision. A decision to be defined on our own terms, not the circumstances we don’t have control over. A decision to look at the situation with a different perspective, such as what we can learn from the experience and teach others from it. A decision to grow.

Keep in mind that staying stuck is also a decision. And sometimes, a good decision at the time. Sometimes we need a break from overwhelming experiences and feelings to be able to feel the ground beneath us again. It’s okay. For a while. It’s when we repeatedly use the struggle as an excuse to stay stuck (or not move forward) that it can really take a toll on us physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

So, which group are you in today? How about yesterday? And what group will you be in tomorrow or in five minutes? Here’s some things to help you shift from struggle to growth:

1. Ask someone else what they think of your situation. Sometimes we are too close to our struggle to see the beauty in it. Ask someone you trust what they think the lessons are in it.
2. Journal about it. When my thoughts are jumbled and scattered, journaling helps me just get it all out. Just start writing, paying no attention to spelling, grammar, or sparing anyone’s feelings. Don’t censor yourself.
3. Make a list of all the lessons you’ve learned from a past struggle. See if any of those apply to your current struggle.
4. Do something different than what you are doing in your stuckness. If you’re sitting, stand up. If you’re thinking too much, do something to take your mind off your thoughts. Do something physical – take a walk, do yoga, ride a bike, etc.
5. Do something you love to do. A hobby, an activity, something that brings you joy. For me, this is usually something to do with music – writing a song, improvisational singing in the car as I’m running errands or driving to an appointment, or listening to some music that transports me to a different state of consciousness.

The more you look for the good to come out of something, the more you will see it. Just like any other skill, it just takes some practice. So what beauty will you find today?

Photo: Tree Trunk © by Accretion Disc

Finding Joy in Life’s Challenges

Life has its challenges. It’s how we handle those challenges that defines us. Check out this short movie with inspirational quotes on finding the joy in your challenges. Enjoy!

Using Creativity to Practice Good Self Care

What is your ONE THING? You know when you do it over and over because it puts a smile on your face, helps calm you down, connects you with your inner wisdom (or Spirit some might say), allows you to express yourself fully and without limitation, and is something you are so passionate about, you light up ever time you think about it, talk about it, and do it?

For me, that THING is songwriting. Sure, I have lots of other interests and things that give me the same (or similar) benefits. But songwriting is my first true love and one that’s always there for me, no matter what.

While it took me a really long time to be able to express WHAT songwriting does for me, I’ve certainly enjoyed the benefits for a really long time. I realize that songwriting has been my own form of self care since I was a teenager.

Songwriting helps tap into feelings and thoughts that hide and get trapped in some deep, dark places. I sometimes write and don’t know what a song is about right away. But then once it unfolds, I realize it expresses exactly what I needed to say. I’m also able to express myself in safer ways with songs because I can use metaphors and poetic phrases instead of being very direct. I love the power of words to be subtle and strong at the same time.

You may (or may not) consider yourself a songwriter, but I bet there’s that ONE THING, a creative way you have to get to those deep feelings and thoughts. Think about it. Here’s some possibilities:

• Poetry
• Writing
• Journaling
• Dancing
• Songwriting
• Singing
• Playing a musical instrument
• Painting
• Sculpting
• Drawing
• Scrapbooking
• Pottery
• Crafting
• Sewing
• Graphic design
• Photography
• Cooking
• Baking
• Fashion

I challenge you to identify what creative activities you do that allow you to take good care of yourself by allowing you to express yourself without inhibition. Feel free to share your thoughts by leaving a comment below.

Photo: Colores © by Enzo Ferrante

Loving What Is Even in the Face of Crisis

Crisis can bring people together into a sole purpose. It can blur the lines of unforgiveness and shift your perspective so dramatically that your “never” turns into “maybe” and your “always” becomes “not anymore.” It can be gut-wrenching, surreal, and unfair as hell. And it can be a wake-up call or a thing to endure and leave behind. At the least, it can challenge you in ways you never imagined.

I tend to get emotional with personal crisis, taking time out to feel my feelings, no matter how painful they may be. However, I have learned over the years (and yes, it does take practice) to bounce quickly and often from a position of pity and “poor me” to one of action and “where do I go from here?” Each moment offers this opportunity, even if we don’t recognize it.

While you may not be going through a personal crisis, you may find yourself at a crossroads, a choice point, a place of needing to decide between two paths. I suggest you first get quiet and sit with yourself, not in that “should I do this or that” place, but in a place of loving what is, which may be confusion, pain, or indecision. Not knowing is at least knowing that you don’t know, which is an important first step in many journeys.

Here’s some other ideas you might try:

1. When you feel a strong emotion (sadness or fear, for example), surrender to the emotion by breathing it completely in. Feel your body’s reaction to the emotion. Allow it to come. And know that it will pass.
2. When you start to feel fear creeping in, stop and say to yourself, “I love the part of me that is afraid to…(I doubt you will have difficulty filling in the blanks)” It’s easy to feel fear but accepting it can be another story. Try it and see what happens.
3. Look for the lesson (or lessons) you can learn from your situation. While whatever has happened may not seem fair or bearable, look at it from different angle to see what good can come of it.

We all go through times of tragedy in our lives. The more we can learn to accept that it will come, the more we will be able to move through it when it does.

Photo: Yin Yang – Symbol © by DonkeyHotey