Every Life Matters: Remembering Robin

I am deeply saddened by the news of Robin Williams’ passing. And I see it has brought about so much discussion of suicide. Let us remember the legacy he left. The laughter, the tears, the reminders of what there is to live for. And how each of our lives matters in such an amazing way, even if we can’t see it right at this moment.

As someone who has been both personally and professionally affected by suicide, I’d like to take a moment to get on a soap box…

Suicide does not discriminate. It touches the lives of people from all walks of life, all socioeconomic statuses, all races, creeds, colors, sexual orientations, educational backgrounds, professions, and beliefs.

No one is immune.

Yes, there are warning signs, risk factors, and protective factors. Yes, there are things we can all do to help. It is often a cry for help, but sometimes that cry is so intense, there is nothing that can be done. Even those with all the resources in the world, all the support, all the fame, riches, and perceived perfectness can shut it all out and be left in a hole so deep, so profound, that they only see one way out.

To those who have been in that hole, know that there is a way out. There is ALWAYS a way out, even if you can’t see it or feel it deep in your bones. Sometimes it is just the slightest word, sign, or reminder. But know this…your life matters!

To those who have cared about someone in that hole, you are not at fault. You didn’t cause someone to attempt or complete suicide. Although you are left with the scars and the whys, know that you cannot be blamed for someone else’s actions. Forgive yourself and move on. Your life matters too.

To learn more about the risk factors, warning signs, and how you can help someone contemplating suicide, please watch this video of my original song “Help Me.”

Where to Find Help for Suicide:

• 911 if you or someone else is in immediate danger
• 1-800-273-TALK (8255) 24 hours a day to talk to a specialist at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• A community mental health agency
• A private therapist or counselor
• A school counselor or psychologist
• A family physician
• A suicide prevention or crisis center

Additional Resources:

• American Association of Suicidology: www.suicidology.org
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.afsp.org
• National institute of Mental Health: www.nimh.nih.gov
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Thanks for Participating in the FIRST “Creativity and Wellness Summit!”

Thanks for participating in the first Creativity and Wellness Summit….

Please leave a comment below to let me know what was most helpful about the Summit and how I can be of service on your creative healing journey.

If you didn’t get a chance to listen in, find out how you can get access to all the recordings and transcripts at http://www.CreativityAndWellnessSummit.com.

My Song About Stepping Into Fear

As a singer/songwriter, I am constantly inspired. A few years ago, I wrote several songs which ended up on my CD, Into the Fire, The songs centered around my journey as a new psychotherapist and many themes emerged involving what my clients were facing. The songs included topics such as depression, suicide, borderline personality disorder, dealing with change, the therapeutic relationship, and, of course, fear.

The song I wrote about fear, Into the Fire, ended up being a bit autobiographical about my own musical journey, which has had many ups and downs. In my case, music represents passion (aka fire). I realized how intermingled both joy and fear can be in pursuing passion. It was such an inspirational song for me that I made it the title track to the CD. After listening to the song several times, I realized how much it hit home on a broader scale for dealing with the fear associated with moving forward, making changes, and pursuing passion.

In addition to the songs I wrote for my CD, I also created a Companion Booklet, which includes not only the lyrics, but also the inspiration behind each song, suggestions for using the songs for healing (for yourself or with clients if you are a mental health or healing professional), and questions to ask based on the theme of the song. I included a couple of the questions for you to ponder below as you listen to the song.

Please enjoy Into the Fire, and feel free to leave a comment below about the song or your answers to the questions.

Questions to think about as you listen to the song:

1. What messages have others told you (either directly or subtly through their words or actions) about taking risks? Are these the same messages that help you or keep you from moving forward?
2. How does fear of taking risks affect your life? Family? Relationships? Work? Finances? Health?
3. What are you most afraid of with respect to making progress in your life?

Thanks for listening! Leave a comment below and let me know what you think.

Got CircleSongs

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know about CircleSongs, the improvisational a capella community singing experience created by Grammy Award-Winning artist Bobby McFerrin. Before I went to train with McFerrin in New York in 2011, I came across his album titled “Circle Songs.” These are beautifully crafted improvisational songs by professional singers captured in the recording studio. Some of the singers were also on hand as faculty during the week-long training I attended.

For months, I listened to these songs, waiting and hoping to have an opportunity to train with McFerrin. And when the announcement came, I was one of the first to register.

Listen to these inspirational songs by CircleSong originator and his hand-picked team of singers.

For further information about how you can join a CircleSong group and to listen to samples of CircleSongs I led while studying in New York, please visit http://www.krylyn.com/circlesongs. To register for an upcoming CircleSong group go to http://circlesongs.eventbrite.com.

CircleSong #1

CircleSong #2

CircleSong #3

CircleSong #5

CircleSong #6 – my favorite, btw

CircleSong #8

How to Prepare for a CircleSong Group

When I trained with Bobby McFerrin on his CircleSong process, there was a wonderful story he told about preparing for his performances. He talked about how people spend time getting ready for a performance, picking out clothes and basically transforming into a performer. He said a long time ago, he decided that he didn’t need to transform. As an improvisational artist, someone who doesn’t prepare a performance but rather goes on stage and just lets the moment bring him into the experience and the music, he just needs to show up. Every experience from the day leading up to the performance helps shape the performance. So he said he doesn’t change his clothes. He said “the music is in my clothes.”

What a wonderful concept. How often do we think we need to change (our clothes or ourselves) in order to fit the moment? We craft what to say, what to do, how we will present ourselves. But if we just let our natural self come forward, that is all that is truly required.

In improvisational singing, it’s all about the process of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and open to whatever presents itself. Therefore, preparing for it doesn’t require anything but showing up.

When I lead CircleSongs, I tell people to:

• Expect the unexpected
• Leave their inner critic outside
• Bring an open mind
• Drink plenty of water

The process will take care of itself and lead us to the sounds that create a wonderful, fun, moving, and transformative musical experience.

For further information about how you can join a CircleSong group and to listen to samples of CircleSongs I led while studying in New York, please visit http://www.krylyn.com/circlesongs. To register for an upcoming CircleSong group go to http://circlesongs.eventbrite.com.

The Benefits of CircleSongs

In August 2011, about 150 people from around the world came together in New York, amidst the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Irene. Some of us traveled for days to get there. Some were delayed by the weather. Some of us had waited for years to have the opportunity to experience what we were about the experience. All of us left that experience changed by the magic we encountered.

What brought us to the quiet, rural town of Rhinebeck was none-other than Grammy Award-Winning artist Bobby McFerrin. He, along with five of his hand-picked faculty from around the United States, were there to teach us about CircleSongs, a process he developed of improvisational community singing.

McFerrin was one of the people late in getting there due to the weather, which delayed the start of our full experience by nearly a day. But someone from his PR firm was on hand to get things started with a mass CircleSong. It was clear from the beginning that we were about to experience something magical. One person at a time, all strangers to me, got into the middle of the circle and led the group in an improvised song, inviting those of us forming the circle to participate. We were nervous and excited, watching and listening to each other closely. And when the first round was over, there wasn’t a smile-less face in the room. We knew we were there for a profound reason.

From that point on, we came together in community, whether walking around the beautiful campus, eating at the cafeteria-style dining hall, or forming our own little song circles at the little café or atop the highest point of the campus in the meditation hall. The experience of singing together led to so much more than we could have imagined.

Once I returned home, my soul was on fire as I continued to listen to recordings of what we created together and we shared videos, pictures, and stories from our experiences on our Facebook group. It took me a couple months to be able to articulate what I experienced in New York and what benefits I had gained that I wished to pass along to others who would participate in my CircleSong group in my local community.

CircleSongs provide rich opportunities to:

1. Express yourself creatively. If ever there was an opportunity to be creative, CircleSongs provides it. Everything created in a CircleSong is in-the-moment, improvised, and spontaneous. You are only limited by your imagination.
2. Break down social barriers (language, culture, etc.) . Out of 150 people who attended the New York training with me, most were from the United States. But we also had people from France, Belgium, Canada, Brazil, Germany, India, Denmark, Norway, etc. And one of our teachers was even born and raised in Lebanon. There’s something about music that cuts through barriers. In CircleSongs, we sing musical phrases without words. We sing sounds. Some are universal sounds. Some are more related to culture. But there is room for any and every sound. And the sounds someone from a different place and culture makes affects other sounds. It is a true blend of human experience.
3. Strengthen connection to yourself. Even though you sing with others in community during CircleSongs, you are still on your own. Left there to listen to others and the conductor in the middle of the circle, feel the music, and deal with any inner voice that begins talking to you during the process.
4. Foster cooperation, teamwork, and community. It is difficult to create a cohesive improvised song without working together. There’s a phenomenon that happens in the circle, which most musicians call “the pocket” or “the groove,” when everyone is in synch. You can feel that moment happen. Everyone is singing together, listening to each other, working toward the same thing….true creative expression. When you’re in the pocket, you know that everyone there serves a unique purpose. Everyone is needed. Everyone is contributing to the beautiful song that is being created.
5. Support yourself and others in creative, uninhibited expression. Support is a cornerstone of the CircleSong process. We must listen to each other. The conductor in the middle of the circle creates one musical phrase after another and assigns it to different parts of the circle. He/she creates one phrase and passes it along, then must listen to what comes up next in the improvised songwriting. As a conductor of these circles, I can tell you that everyone in that room contributes to what music comes out of my mouth. The music is inspired by everyone there – their energy, their musicality, their very being.
6. Promote self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment. Even people who profess they are not singers or are not creative leave a CircleSong experience with a different perspective. Where they claimed they could not sing, they have now sung. Where they claimed they were not creative, they helped to create something. When we accomplish something we are hesitant to even try, it inevitably raises our confidence. Even those of us who identify ourselves as singers and as creative leave a CircleSong boosted. CircleSongs are about creating. And in that process there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. At the end, we typically smile. Some laugh. Some clap. There has been something profound that has been accomplished. And everyone feels it.

The best way to get a sense of all the benefits from CircleSongs is to experience it for yourself. I invite you to join me for CircleSongs Phoenix, which I will be leading beginning January 9, 2013, in the Phoenix, AZ metro area. For further information about CircleSongs and to listen to samples of CircleSongs I led while studying in New York, please visit http://www.krylyn.com/circlesongs. To register for an upcoming CircleSong Phoenix group go to http://circlesongs.eventbrite.com.