When’s the last time you said YES?

There’s a word we’re so used to hearing that we can anticipate it before it even arrives. This word can have a deep impact on how we feel about ourselves, what we think about ourselves, and how we live our lives.

Know what it is yet? Let me give you a hint…

Think about the last time you asked for something, whether a raise at work, or a significant other to do something for you, or for a favor. There’s really only two responses to asking someone to do something – yes or no. When you ask for something, what answer are you hoping for? And which answer can make your heart and hopes sink a little?

You guessed it…that dreaded word that can have a HUGE impact is…NO.

We can get so used to hearing it that it prevents us from asking. But let me spin this one around a little.

When’s the last time you said NO to yourself? Do you ever put your dreams on hold, or change plans, or stop yourself from doing something? Every time you put something off, or put someone else before you when you don’t really need to, you’re saying no to yourself. OUCH!

Sure there are times when others do come first. But overall in your life, are you really making yourself a priority? Or does everything and everyone else come first?

This habit of saying yes to everyone else is really one of saying no to yourself. And whether or not you can see it (and my guess is you can but just don’t want to), it’s taking a HUGE toll on you.

Here’s some subtle (and not so subtle ways) saying yes to others (and no to yourself) can be affecting you:

• Zaps your self esteem as you feel less important than everyone else
• Prevents you from doing something you really love to do
• Traps you into thinking you don’t matter
• Creates resentment, anger, and possibly some passive-aggressive behaviors you may not be terribly proud of

Now if the stuff on the list above is what you really want, then keep doing what you’re doing. But I’m guessing if you could really see how saying yes to everything and everyone else but yourself is affecting you, you’d want to stop immediately. Am I right?

Of course, that can be easier said than done. So where do you start?

By making small changes using tools that really work. Tools like setting boundaries, using positive statements, owning your own value and power, and making a habit of cutting out that which doesn’t serve you.

If you want some specific step-by-step, “here’s how you do it” instructions, I invite you to check out the “MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY” Seminar Series Bundle I created, full of 12 seminars that go over things like saying YES to yourself and all the other tools I mentioned, plus so much more. If you’re ready to learn tools that help you go from stressed and overwhelmed to feeling much more balanced and centered, this might be what you’re looking for.

Check it out at: http://www.krylyn.com/MakeYourselfAPriorityBundle

After all, until YOU can start saying YES to yourself, how can anyone else?

Are You (Really) Where You Want To Be?

If you’ve been in my tribe for any length of time, you know that the inspiration for everything I do comes from my own life. Everything from the articles I write, the newsletters I send, the social media posts, the workshops, conferences, and products I create and promote – all come from the lessons I’ve learned both personally and professionally to help others move through transitions, fear, burnout, stress, and overwhelm to lead a more productive, healthier, happier, more deliberate, creative, and passionate life.

As 2014 comes to a close, I’ve already started reflecting on everything that’s happened over the last year, and it’s A LOT. I know I’m not the only one facing tremendous challenges, changes, and transitions (forced and planned), and it got me to thinking of how I can best serve YOU, my tribe, as we move into yet another year.

I’ve put together a series of three blog posts chock-full of some great tips and inspirations to help YOU, since I know this can be a challenging time of year.

Here’s a question for you:

As we come to the close of yet another year, are you where you want to be?

If so, then you can stop reading now. But if not…keep going.

Despite our best intentions and efforts, we get side-tracked. Life happens. Circumstances beyond our control rear their not-so-pretty little heads. And we can find that where we wanted to go is miles away from where we are. It happens to all of us.

At this point, when we KNOW we’re not where we want to be, we have one of two choices:

1. Accept it, OR
2. Whine, kick, scream, and otherwise throw a tantrum (otherwise known as NOT accepting it or resisting it)

Sound familiar? I’m guessing you’ve chosen both routes at one point or another (just like I have). And that you know which one is more likely to help you re-adjust and either get to where you want to be or get you closer to where you want to be.

Yep, acceptance is key.

But if you’re more steeped behind door #2 right now (or can get in touch with that experience), here’s the next question:

Where is all that whining, kicking, screaming, tantruming, and RESISTING WHAT IS getting you?

Chances are it’s getting you more of what you DON’T want. More stuckness, unhappiness, resentment, anger, fear, loneliness, worry, stress…the list goes on.

You see, what we focus on expands. What we resist persists. There’s a bunch of trite ways to say it, but it all boils down to where we put our attention. If our attention is on the ick, then that’s what we see and experience.

And that ick can look and feel like:

• Fatigue
• Poor concentration
• Low energy and motivation
• The blah’s
• Muscle aches and pains
• Thoughts spinning around in your head (which I call the “thought spiral”)
• Shoulding all over yourself (“I should do this…I shouldn’t do that”)
• Worrying about every little thing
• Fear
• Stress and overwhelm
• …And so on

But, the good news is that just as we can choose to focus on the not so desirable stuff, we can also learn to focus more on what we DO want and have THAT expand and be our experience.

Imagine what life would it be like if you could:

• Wake up excited and energized about your day, rather than dreading it
• Practice simple, proven techniques that can skyrocket your confidence and self esteem
• Bust through the barriers that keep you stuck
• Easily let go of stuff that doesn’t serve you

Sounds pretty good, right?

And it is possible!

How do I know? Because I’ve been able to do it AND teach my clients how do it too.

In an upcoming post, I’ll share with you the three categories of healing that can help YOU get back on track to getting what you want more of.

So get to thinking about what it is that you want. Here’s some questions you can think (and/or journal) about to help you gain some clarity:

• If (money / time / _____) weren’t a factor, what would I really like to be doing with my life?
• What are the real barriers keeping me stuck right now? What are the imagined ones?
• What am I gaining by NOT being where I want to be?
• What am I losing by NOT being where I want to be?
• What do I really want?
• What is ONE thing I can give up in order to get what I want?
• Am I really ready to do what it takes to get what I want?

Happy healing!

Got a comment to share about what you want more of? Leave a comment below.

Photo by: DVIDSHUB

Get Clear: Letting Go of Physical Stuff Can Improve Everything!

It never ceases to amaze me the powerful effect stuff has on us. Lately I’ve been going through a major de-cluttering as I get my home ready to sell. I’ve lived here for 12 years (having only wanted to be here 3), and am finding out part of why I’ve avoided leaving.

As I go through papers, piles, boxes, and closets, I’m finding stuff that no longer works, stuff that is no longer useful , stuff I’ve wondered what to do with, and stuff I’ve avoided dealing with. I’m realizing the emotional toll not letting go of stuff has had on me. And in that letting go have released a ton of emotions.

It is inevitable that our outer environment affects our inner environment. I’ve said this for years and experienced it firsthand more times than I can count. In other words, the physical stuff around us affects how we think, feel, and act. It affects our relationships, our ability to make decisions, our progress (or lack thereof).

When we hold onto physical stuff it also sends a message to the universe that we don’t have room for other stuff. It can be an energy-blocker, affecting our ability to draw in new good things into our lives.

So I ask you to take a look around your environment and just notice. Notice the stuff around you. Does it all serve a purpose? Does it keep you stuck? Does it bring up good feelings or not so good ones? Does it occupy your thoughts and your actions? The first step is always awareness.

If you don’t feel a strong negative impact of your stuff, then bravo! You’re in a good place. But if you are feeling less than stellar about the stuff around you, take some time to tackle it. Here’s some tips:

• Explore what kind of environment you want. It’s easy to say “I don’t want this” but in order to make positive, long-lasting change, you must get in touch with what you do want. How do you want to feel in your environment? What do you want to accomplish there?
• Make a plan of action. It doesn’t have to be all at once, but start taking small steps to clearing out your space. And remember, it didn’t take overnight to get it this way, which means it won’t be an overnight fix to get it where you want it.
• Do one thing at a time. Set aside a certain time block each day, starting with a small 5 to 15 minutes, and just do one thing at a time.

Once you start seeing results, it’s inevitable the good feelings will kick in and you’ll want more of that. Keep going…and remember to be gentle with yourself in the process.

Tying Up Loose Ends: The Road to Integrity

What is left undone in your life RIGHT NOW? It could be anything from laundry, to filing, to cleaning, to home improvement projects, to implementing new marketing strategies in your business, to networking, to paperwork, to responding to emails, to having “the talk” with a significant other, to unrealized health goals, to a whole slew of other things.

If you’re anything like me, the list of things undone is LONG…longer than you’d care to admit.

And that list of things, the one that’s always in the back of your mind no matter how hard you try to ignore it, is getting in the way. Getting in the way of what, you may ask.

The undone stuff affects how you feel, what you think, what you do. It affects your relationships, with yourself and others. It affects your ability (and desire) to do stuff now and in the future. It’s something that hangs over you, whether you realize it or not. It can rob you of your energy, time, money, patience, and sanity!

Don’t believe me? Ask yourself some questions:

• How do you FEEL when you see (or remember) the undone things? Do you get a sense of overwhelm, dread, panic, or apathy? Do you want to run away or just ignore it?
• What do you THINK when you see (or remember) the undone things? Do you get bombarded with thoughts of “should” and “why can’t I just do it?” Or does your mind start attacking your character (“there must be something wrong with me!”).

One of the Four Agreements outlined by Don Miguel Ruiz is:

Be Impeccable with your Word

While the definition he gives talks about what we say, it also refers to what we do (or don’t do). It’s really just about integrity, which is to keep our word and do what we say we’re going to do.

When we leave things undone, it’s like breaking promises – to ourselves and to others. And that never feels good. It’s out of alignment with who we really are and how we intend to be. It’s no wonder our feelings and thoughts are negative around it; however the way out of feeling bad isn’t to make ourselves feel worse. The way out of just about every problem we could ever have is (drumroll)…

ACTION

And not just any action. Because what we’re already doing isn’t working, right? It must be something different than what we’re doing.

Simple, right? Well if it were, we wouldn’t have a problem and all these things left undone.

Here’s some tips to help get you on your way to doing the undone stuff:

1. Take a stand. Spend some time thinking about what it is you stand for. What are your priorities, your goals? What’s important to you? Everything in your life should support what you stand for. If not, time to let it go.
2. Stop saying YES to taking on more stuff (physical, mental, emotional) that isn’t aligned with your priorities.
3. Do one thing at a time. Start tackling the undone stuff in bite-sized chunks. Taking on too much can leave you more frustrated. Make a plan of action, set aside time on your calendar, and just start doing it. Feel more energized in the morning? Then schedule a block of time in the morning to get started. Once you finish the one thing, move on to the next.
4. Celebrate the stuff you do (rather than agonize over the things you don’t). Give yourself a pat on the back, some verbal praise, or a little treat to mark the occasion of finishing something.
5. Rinse and repeat!

Remember the road to stuff undone isn’t a linear, one-time detour. It’s part of the journey. So the path to getting stuff done will be the same way. If you stray, don’t fret. Remind yourself of all the rewards of getting stuff done, take a breather, and get back to it!

Photo by: woodleywonderworks

Feel the Fear Phoenix: Workshop Helps Bust Through Fears

Overcoming common fears that get in the way of greater success and happiness is the focus of the upcoming workshop, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway®.” The one-day event Saturday, September 13, 2014, is based on the best-selling book of the same title that focuses on helping people be more assertive, attain personal and professional goals and improve self-esteem.

The program is facilitated by Krylyn Peters, a licensed psychotherapist and certified life coach, who is also licensed by Susan Jeffers, LLC to teach “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway®.” The workshop begins at 9 a.m. at New Visions Center for Spiritual Living, located at 18010 N. Tatum Blvd., Phoenix, AZ 85032. Pre-registration is required

The workshop includes experiential activities to help participants move from fear and indecision to action. “Moving through fear requires action. I give people tools so they can overcome what is keeping them stuck. Most people have thoughts or worries that can block them from taking steps toward even the most desired goals,” explains Peters.

Participants have stated that the program is “life-changing if you use the tools” and that the event “helped me understand that I can change and that I should not fear it.”

“Many people have limiting beliefs such as ‘I’m not good enough to do this’ or ‘What if I fail?’ that hold them back,” says Peters. “The workshop helps them identify their specific fears and then build an action plan to move them forward.”

To register, sign up at www.krylyn.com/feelthefear or contact Peters at 602-696-8699.

Thanks for Participating in the FIRST “Creativity and Wellness Summit!”

Thanks for participating in the first Creativity and Wellness Summit….

Please leave a comment below to let me know what was most helpful about the Summit and how I can be of service on your creative healing journey.

If you didn’t get a chance to listen in, find out how you can get access to all the recordings and transcripts at http://www.CreativityAndWellnessSummit.com.